So this girl I went on a few dates with last year reached out to me out of the blue on Facebook about wanting to set me up with her friend. Her MUCH hotter friend. Never had this happen, usually girls will set you up with someone below them but never above them. Especially when you’ve been on dates with them even though we were never a thing, we still got along great we just knew we weren’t into each other like that. She said she’s already given her friend my contact info so she could look me up on Facebook and she’s already put in a good word that she needed to go on some dates with me. She claims her friend is very interested. What would make a girl do this? What’s the motive behind it?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Girl I used to date reached out to me about setting me up with her hotter friend?
- Thread starter Robert28
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
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What's her motive? She wants her friend to be with someone she feels might be a good match. Could be as simple as that. Take the lead with this girl and go for it. Don't mention the first girl. Stop thinking so much, it will hamper your success with women.
Well the first girl and I are on great terms so there’s no problem there. I just have never been set up with the hotter friend before, new experience for me. Usually women will pawn off their lower value friend or something.
Serenity
Moderator
Simple. From what you've explained you two weren't a great match, but you got along good and are on great terms. She figured a friend of her probably fit better and thought about doing you both a favor by introducing you to each other. You made a positive impression, she remembers and wanted to do something good. Believe it or not, if you play your cards right you'll experience unexpected positive things like this.
Not everyone has a selfish motive at all times, that's a bad assumption. She probably has no bad motive at all or do you have any reason to believe she does?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Well no she’s actually a really nice girl to be honest. She started dating someone right after her and I quit sorta seeing each other but she told me the were on a “break” now. Then she mentioned her friend who she insists I meet and go out with and had already told her friend about me so it was basically in the works before she even reached out to me.
That’s Basically what this is, and her friend is BEAUTIFUL. This girl is easily knocking on the door of a 10 on any guys scale. The girl I know basically did all the work and vetted me to her so I’ve already won half the battle, now all I have to do is go on a date and have fun and roll with it.
You're overthinking this. In her mind, she's probably only thinking "I bet they'd hit it off". Simple as that. You could easily **** this up by going in with the mindset that it's a trap or something. Just go with it. It does happen.
Really?
‘Hey Robert28, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I thought I’d reach out to you out of the blue.”
‘Hi Rebecca, how have you been?”
‘Good Robert28. Just so you know, I’ve really been thinking about you and desperately want to do something.”
‘‘Really? What have you desperately been wanting to do? Get a degree? Be a famous actress? Be a mom and start a family?”
‘No, no, no. None of that stuff. I’ve been up nights desperately wanting to set you up with my friend. My much hotter friend.”
‘Wow really Rebecca. But I’m not a CEO, famous actor, famous director, famous athlete, or make millions of dollars.”
‘It doesn’t matter. I knew we got along great but weren’t into each other. But this girl, wow, she is hot and I want to set you up.”
‘OK, well can you give her my contact info?”
‘I’ve already done that. I’ve already put in a good word for you and this much hotter girl NEEDS to go on some dates with you.
‘Wow, thanks Rebecca.”
‘And remember, this much hotter girl than me is VERY interested in you. I just told her who were, and she almost gave into her Basic Instincts. She will likely want to get some of your sex. Are you ok with that?”
‘Yes Rebecca, I think I’ll be ok giving her some of my sex. But why are you doing this?”
‘I just couldn’t let a young, hot, available, sexy girl on Facebook not know about you and the great sex you give. It’s a privilege to get your sex.”
‘OK, thanks Rebecca. I’ll wait for her call.”
‘Don’t thank me yet Robert28, just make sure you give her good sex.”
‘OK.”
Rock on!
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
Expect a catch because there's usually a catch when something is too good to be true
That being said, it's totally worth the risk, you should definitely agree
That being said, it's totally worth the risk, you should definitely agree
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
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Just ask the girl out for Pete’s sake. Go from there like normal and see what happens. I’ve been known to do this on occasion. In fact my best friend from high school married someone I dated in high school. We are all 50 years old now and they remain happily married & have raised 2 kids to adulthood. We all remain great friends.
More recently I got two friends of mine in touch. The guy lives in Maui and the girl was in SoCal but moving to Maui and knew nobody there. So I gave them each other’s number and encouraged them to meet. The girl is very tall and beautiful and smart, the guy is a charming player archetype who always has between 3-6 plates spinning. I never dated him but one of my girlfriends was a long term plate of his for a number of years. My girlfriend moved on from him but he & I stayed buddies. Guess what? They have totally hit it off, have moved in together, he has dropped all his other plates and they both just sold everything they own to travel the world together. They are having a ball.
My point is that opportunity knocks from odd places sometimes. Go for it. You never know where life will take you....
More recently I got two friends of mine in touch. The guy lives in Maui and the girl was in SoCal but moving to Maui and knew nobody there. So I gave them each other’s number and encouraged them to meet. The girl is very tall and beautiful and smart, the guy is a charming player archetype who always has between 3-6 plates spinning. I never dated him but one of my girlfriends was a long term plate of his for a number of years. My girlfriend moved on from him but he & I stayed buddies. Guess what? They have totally hit it off, have moved in together, he has dropped all his other plates and they both just sold everything they own to travel the world together. They are having a ball.
My point is that opportunity knocks from odd places sometimes. Go for it. You never know where life will take you....
So here’s the skinny on this situation and I dunno how interested I am in pursuing this or not. She just got out of a year long relationship with her ex who she lived together with for 7 months back in Jan. Says she is “confused” and there’s still feelings there and “healing that needs to be done before she can jump into a relationship”. However, she is really interested in me and thinks there’s potential there down the road and wants to see me and basically it’s being sold to me as I’ll be one step outside of the friend zone, basically in some relationship limbo. Whenever I hear the words “take it slow” I think “yep, no sex anytime soon”. I think I’m going to do the 3 date rule and if no sex by then, then I have to ghost even if it messes up my relationship with her friend. I can’t be strung along because I just did that **** two months ago with a girl in some weird scenario and I’m not going back to that again.