Girl I just recently started dating is now living with a male roomate

[Blind_Fury]

I've been dating a great girl recently, who just recently moved in with a male roommate. Now because she is not my girlfriend I really don't have much to say on the subject. However, something tells me that this is a bad situation. just recently I noticed a change in her, she is very affectionate towards me now, (ever since she has been living with him) and even wants me to meet the guy. But to tell the truth, the feeling in the pit of my stomach keeps telling me that there is more to this scenario, or at least there will be. She knew him before me says that they are just friends, they hang out as well, however she said that he is going to break up with this girlfriend soon (red flag). We have a great time together and she at least acts like she wants me to step things up a notch, but my instinct keeps telling me to hit the breaks on this one. I don't know, sounds like disaster to me. what do you guys think?

 

[f283000]

This is why you have to be spinning plates brother. You don't need a woman in you life YOU NEED WOMEN in your life. If you were spinning plates you wouldn't be making this thread since you wouldn't be worried about this one gal. You would have other options. You take what you need from this one and if she ends up fulfilling what you are predicting say chao. Don't get attached to her.

 

[Blind_Fury]

Very true...Dammit! I got the oneitis again and didn't even realize it...

 

[amoka]

Unless he is gay, he is bound to be nailing this girl or WILL nail her eventually.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

Thats not necessarily true. Not every guy is some alpha DJ PUA who's gonna end up fvcking any girl he's around for an extended period of time.

 

[In$tinct]

Thats not necessarily true. Not every guy is some alpha DJ PUA who's gonna end up fvcking any girl he's around for an extended period of time.

Not that it is an a guarantee that he nails her… But, even a blind squirrel can find a way to get his nut off from time to time.

 

[In$tinct]

Not that it is an a guarantee that he nails her… But, even a blind squirrel can find a way to get his nut off from time to time.

Think I got that saying wrong...! LOL :crackup:

 

[Kailex]

I've been dating a great girl recently, who just recently moved in with a male roommate. Now because she is not my girlfriend I really don't have much to say on the subject. However, something tells me that this is a bad situation.

And right here is where you should have stopped typing and realized that this thread wasn't even worth making.

You see, you already have a bad feeling about it.

TRUST YOUR GUT.

just recently I noticed a change in her, she is very affectionate towards me now, (ever since she has been living with him) and even wants me to meet the guy.

Have you ever cheated on someone (trust me, there's a point to this)?
If you have, have you ever noticed that after you do, you start compensating for it... being a little more friendly to your girl, being a little more loving... suspiciously so?

Yeah, this might be the case.

They might have already had "Moving in sex".
And now she's going to try to convince you that everything is fine and that you meeting him is a sign to you that he is harmless.

Yeah, right.

But to tell the truth, the feeling in the pit of my stomach keeps telling me that there is more to this scenario, or at least there will be.

EJECT.

She knew him before me says that they are just friends,

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. FB's probably.

they hang out as well, however she said that he is going to break up with this girlfriend soon (red flag).

Ohhhhhhhhh, what a coincidence. He's breaking up with his girlfriend soon. Soon after she moved in with him.

We have a great time together and she at least acts like she wants me to step things up a notch, but my instinct keeps telling me to hit the breaks on this one. I don't know, sounds like disaster to me. what do you guys think?

You already know what to think.
You already know what we're going to say.

Even if he doesn't nail her... he WILL TRY.

Do you want that on your mind?

What happens when both of them stay in home one night... and they have a few drinks, watch a movie... get a little closer... and BAM... game over.

Even if it didn't happen, are you sure you want that on your mind?

 

[ENIGMA16]

If you're tight on your game you can easily lock her down; your insecurity is due to your lack of confidence in your skills.

 

[Scion]

She's just a girl, who cares? If you get suspicious that something is going on and you don't like it then kick her to the curb. Do what you want.

 

[Blind_Fury]

Thanks guys...I've decided to leave her and the situation alone...focus on developing my skills with the dj bible. As you all can see I'm still an AFC and need to find less complicated situations to deal with; focus on several girls and start spinning plates. Anyway all of your opinions helped greatly.

 

[OFWHAP]

I wouldn't want a girlfriend of mine living with another guy, but at the same time you don't have to live with someone to have an affair with that person. At the same time living together tends to strain friendships/relationships rather than strengthen them. Even if she has no intentions on doing anything with this guy, it shows poor judgment on her part to even think about putting her in that position.

 

[Alexander]

I have a different opinion on the matter, what Kailex describes is a possible scenario, but not the absolute truth. You don't even know the guy, he could be ugly or she could feel absolutely no attraction for him, I dated a girl a long time ago who lived with a male roomate, and trust me, when I saw the guy, I didn't feel threatened at all.

Also, there's an unwritten rule that unless you're moving out with your girlfriend, you shouldn't try to mess up with your roomate, because then things can get really awkward and turns out really bad, if you ever lived with a female who was not your girlfriend, you'd know what I am talking about.

But then again, I'm not in your shoes, I agree that you have to trust your guts feeling , if you feel it's a bad situation, it's because there's some details that we don't have here , that you forgot to share. If not, to me it's not that big of a deal, if you're a better man than her roomate, she won't even consider him.

By nexting her now, you have everything to lose. Even if she happens to like the guy more than you, you'll eventually feel it or she'll straight tell you that things don't work out anymore. So who cares, you next her then and move on.

My 2 cents.

 

[Iceberg]

I don't know. Maybe I'm a cynic, but I think living with someone creates the OPPOSITE effect of sexual attraction.

I can't think of a worse fate than banging someone I live with. Listening them blab everyday. Using the bathroom after they blow it up. Cleaning their globs of toothpaste off the sink. Ugh.

Sure anything can happen. And sex with roommates definitely does happen. But it depends on the guy. If your chick was living with me, you wouldn't have to worry...because I'm not screwing up my potential to bring home dozens of women by banging the one woman I live with. Risk vs Benefit kinda thing.

 

[Blind_Fury]

Good point Iceberg...I've learned that at the moment, I am way too AFC to even deal with this situation. I now know that I need to focus my energies on bettering myself first before I can take on a situation like this.

 

[Warrior74]

If your gut is truely telling you to bail, bail. If it's fear talking, tell it to STFU.

I had a female roommate for about 6 months, right after she broke up with her boyfriend, everyone assumed I stole her from her boyfriend which was far from the case. Every guy she dated assumed me and her had something going on. But I knew her since she was 19 and she's like a little sister to me. I'm in no way attracted to her, but people brought their assumptions to the table. She mainly moved out because guys felt threatened by me, and after 6 months asked me to move into her new place to help her cover bills, but I declined as I had just signed a new lease. So if you know you can trust your gut, trust it, but if it's just insecurity talking, think about it. Oh and spin plates, standard. Goes without saying.

 

[Jitterbug]

I've lived with 2 girls for a while. One is heavier than me so I pay no attention to her. The other is kinda cute, but I know better than to sh!t where I eat.

You have nothing to fear about the housemate (unless they're all into holding regular house parties & getting blind drunk or stoned). As mentioned earlier, it's a big turnoff for women as there's nothing mysterious about the guy anymore.

It's the male co-workers or friends she regularly hangs out with at some hobby that you need to pay attention to.

 

[f283000]

Even if what Jitterbug or Kailex say is probably the truth the main lesson everyone can learn from this is to remember that they are supposed to be having fun and keep working on their game by talking and flirting with other girls! When we are first starting out with women we are so happy to have a woman in our life that we put all our time, energy and focus on our girlfriend which is not what we are supposed to do. This is what most of us did and then a situation like this happens and bam you come crushing down from that feeling of heaven you had.

It's necessary for our own sanity to talk to other girls, flirt with other girls, spin plates in order to keep us from developing oneitis.

 

[Lexington]

You know the situation best since you're witnessing it first hand. Gut feelings very often prove to be true. But in general, girls are NOT banging their male roommates. That's the whole reason why they move in with these guys; they have zero sexual interest.

Think about it. For couples, it's a very big step to move in together. That's after they've been dating for a while and they've gotten to know each other. I'm assuming this guy and this girl have to sign a lease. If they fvcked, things could get very very weird and then they'd be stuck with each other. It's a pain in the ass to get someone to take over your lease and find a new place.

I've known a few guys that had female roommates, including very hot ones. None of those guys were getting any from those chicks. In fact, most guys didn't particularly like it. She gets all the benefits of living with a guy and doesn't put out....it's the perfect deal for her.

 

[zekko]

Honestly, I don't care if she's having sex with him or not. She's living with some dude. Reason enough for me to take a pass.

Having said that, I'm 49 frigging years old. I know younger people aren't as established and sometimes have these odd coed living arrangements. I've also seen this cause trouble in their relationships. It doesn't make them a bad person by any means, still it's reason enough for me to take a pass. Doesn't fit my standards. But if you're just looking for a FB or something, I guess you shouldn't care.