"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Girl I am talkingto tells me she is having lunch with her ex-boyfriend

E

earlkeese

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Greetings all:


Long time lurker, first time poster. I just started talking to this gorl who told me that she caught her now ex-boyfriend with another girl in his apartment in November. She proceeded to smack him and left (so she says). Meanwhile, we are doing the dating and drinks thing and she starts re-hashing stories like her little brother catching her have sex when she was 18, etc. This was an extreme turnoff, but I let it go.

Her birthday is on Friday, and since I have to leave town on Friday, I told her I would make her dinner tomorrow night. So, apparently the ex has been putting pressure on her to go out, and she told me today through email that he is taking her out on Monday for lunch for her birthday.


So, I haven't slept with this chick yet, so I'm not emotionally invested at all. My question is, you have to be pretty stupid to go out with someone that you caught with someone else 2 months ago, and I really don't think that's enough time to move on. I haven't replied to the last email she sent informing me of this, and I don't think I will. Am I right on this?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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nismo-4

nismo-4

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Jealousy is a powerful ass emotion, and this ex bf is creating it!

The best revenge to get on a girl who dumped you is to show her that you don't need her, as you have other options. Whoever cares the least wins! Therefore, you are correct to not respond to her email! I'm also glad you aren't emotionally invested in this girl.

Be sexual the next time you see her because it sounds like you were an emotional tampon. Spin more plates if you aren't already.

So ordered.
 
Jariel

Jariel

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If the ex is still in the picture it's going nowhere. I've been in this situation over a dozen times and it has NEVER worked out in my favour.

Girls like this are scum and one of my pet hates. They string you along and use you. They draw you closer when their ex is cold or mean, get you to boost their egos and then push you away when their ex shows interest again. You should never let a girl use you like this.

The best you will get is a revenge fvck where she's thinking of her ex the whole time and then regrets it afterwards. I've learned to recognise these b1tches early on now and I won't even give them a chance.

Personally, I think you would be right in ignoring that email and just moving forward.
 
D

damnsam

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earlkeese said:
Greetings all:
My question is, you have to be pretty stupid to go out with someone that you caught with someone else 2 months ago, and I really don't think that's enough time to move on. I haven't replied to the last email she sent informing me of this, and I don't think I will. Am I right on this?
Click to expand...
I don't know how old this girl is, but you're right you have to be pretty stupid to reconsider someone that cheated on you. Doesn't sound like a high quality girl that respects herself or might not be emotionally ready/steady. Two thoughts. 1 If you are only talking to her or had a few dates and offered to cook her a birthday dinner this indicates relationship type behavior. Did she accept your dinner invite? And maybe she brought up the ex to distance herself from you because she doesn't want a relationship. 2 She might be testing you since you will not be available for her birthday and brought up some competition by mentioning the ex? Maybe she WANTS you to say no don't have lunch with him to show her you care and really like her. But either way doesn't sound like a good and mature way to handle things. I would politely let this one go...she didn't really do anything blatently wrong, but then she didn't do anything right to keep your interest level. If you go NC like some recommend out of spite or revenge then she is still on your mind and you will be wondering if she was affected by you going NC. Why let someone take up rent free space in your mind? Walk away the better person and tie up any loose ends. No need to suddenly go NC just reply with an honest and mature response by saying you were interested to get to know her better but seems like she may not be completely over her ex.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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V

vatoloco

Master Don Juan
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earlkeese said:
Long time lurker, first time poster. I just started talking to this gorl who told me that she caught her now ex-boyfriend with another girl in his apartment in November. She proceeded to smack him and left (so she says). Meanwhile, we are doing the dating and drinks thing and she starts re-hashing stories like her little brother catching her have sex when she was 18, etc. This was an extreme turnoff, but I let it go.

Her birthday is on Friday, and since I have to leave town on Friday, I told her I would make her dinner tomorrow night. So, apparently the ex has been putting pressure on her to go out, and she told me today through email that he [the ex] is taking her out on Monday for lunch for her birthday.


So, I haven't slept with this chick yet, so I'm not emotionally invested at all. My question is, you have to be pretty stupid to go out with someone that you caught with someone else 2 months ago, and I really don't think that's enough time to move on. I haven't replied to the last email she sent informing me of this, and I don't think I will. Am I right on this?
Click to expand...
Where's the major inconsistency here? I'll give you a hint: it's in red. ;)

Also, define "dating." Is she just plate, FB, exclusive?

Where's the other problem? Another hint: it's in bold.

If you are indeed a long-time lurker, you know what to do...
 
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