girl hung out with me, didn't kiss close

[DJHoolahoop]

hey everyone,

well i just got back from hanging out with a girl and while i normally would have had my lips all over this girl(and i mean that in the i wouldn't hesitate kissing her in a heartbeat way, and not the pouncing on her like a savage beast way).

things went well and i had a great time hanging out with her. i was so ready and tempted to kiss this girl as thats usually what i would do, only it didn't feel quite right. i felt like going for the kiss close and i would have, i so would have, but it felt to me like it would have come from nowhere. this night wasn't planned at all and while the sponteneity might have been exciting and arousing(for lack of a better word) it also felt like it would come from out of my @ss and would have been invasive.

so while i've been telling myself that doing that is what confidence is about and that she'd really find that attractive and that she would really love it, i also haven't tried to do anything that risky without at least some pretense that we both know its a date we're on. or that its a girl i'd only want to bone and nothing else.

now i don't feel i "blew it" as i don't feel there was anything to blow in the first place (that actually sounds funny) i also feel that there's potential here and that i can take it there when i actually suggest us to "hang out".

let me know what you think. feedback and comments are truly appreciated guys, thanks.

 

[Rocker]

If I'm out with a girl for the first time I always have a crack. Sometimes it doesn't feel right if the night hasn't gone that well.. but more often than not, it works anyway. Better being rejected and laughing it off than wondering what if.

 

[IsiMan84]

Just from personal experience I've found myself in situations such as those, and a second chance never presented itself because of my inaction the first time around. So I was definitely kicking myself later. My thought process was my worst enemy in those cases because I'm almost 100% sure they were waiting for me to make that first move. If you expect the girl to say something or make the first move don't count on it because the only way that'll happen is if she's so interested in you she doesn't want to lose you. Which, if this is the first encounter, the chances are going to be slim to none. Unless you're Brad Pitt haha.

Hesitation = masturbation

 

[xblitz44x]

DJ, it sounds like you know deep inside that you should have kissed her, but you're trying to convince yourself (and get us to convince you) that it wasn't mandatory and that you did the right thing. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you didn't kiss her because you're scared that she would have shot you down. You can word it anyway you want: "it also felt like it would come from out of my @ss and would have been invasive. " but you should admit that when it comes down to it, it had nothing to do with you being 'too confident' to kiss her but rather you were worried about the outcome.

I've gone on quite a few first dates without kissing a girl and a lot of those wound up panning out. In some cases it's a good thing not to kiss on the first date but it has to be because you know that and not because you're too afraid to make the move.

Fret not, for your situation is far from over. Who knows how she interprets you not kissing her. Maybe she was turned out by your "self control", maybe she's not sure if you're into her, maybe she thinks you're a pvssy who is scared to take initiative? Nobody knows right now except her (and her best friend). So proceed as planned, call her up for another DATE (not a hangout), and make your move.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

ya i see what you're all saying. where i shot myself down here was that i didn't feel that "coffee dates" were ones you really want to kiss-close with and that's what this was. I'm really starting to think this s*** doesn't matter and that's why I was 5 seconds away from kiss-closing. In fact I had already begun to play with her hair and move it behind her ear. That's why I hesistated on this one in the end though and so now I'm wondering if you all kiss-close on coffee dates?

 

[xblitz44x]

The venue that you chose for the date isn't as important as the connection and relationship that you cultivated. You could take her out on a date to Walmart and if the connection is there, kissing is appropriate.

 

[BacardiGuy]

I'm interested in knowing if you've talked to her or gone out with her again yet, and how it went.

 

[vp171s]

I'm in the same exact boat. I've had two dates like that now. Personally I'm thinking its going nowhere.

 

[Reloaded]

It's good to take a break sometimes. Sometimes, you can just cuddle! Haha, chump!

:crackup:

 

[SnowBlind77]

hesitation=masturbation....i like taht

Reloaded=total waste of time and space:yes:

 

[oakraiderz2]

Hesitation = masturbation

I will agree with that in more ways than one. Who cares if the kiss comes out of nowhere. They really wont care if theyre down for it.

 

[IsiMan84]

hesitation=masturbation....i like taht

Yes, thank you, all praise appreciated.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

we've hung out a bunch of times now. each time i know i have a blast, and that's all that really matters anyways .

i kiss closed her on the "official" hangout where i made plans to hang out. where she knew we'd meet up and be out together. this time i didn't hesitate and it felt right maybe because i had it all in my head, but i honestly believe its because i think its dumb to kiss close on a coffee date. i mean you hardly know the person and all of a sudden you go in for the kill when i don't even know if i like this girl fully yet, seemed too pre-emptive.

anyways since getting to hang out with her i have a feeling that this girl is extremely shy. we talk and i love joking around with her, but the big thing now is that i still havent been able to open her up and when i've gone in for a kiss again, she goes in but then starts giggling. nervous maybe?

i've never really encountered such an attractive looking girl acting in such an apparently shy fashion. this is what it appears like to me and i know i'm going to stick this one out and see where it goes. i'm still figuring out if her behaviour is because she likes me a lot and is really shy because of it or if its because she's just "enjoying" what happens when we're together (and i meant the last one in a manipulative way).

maybe someone can give some insight into that last part i'm stuck with.

 

[knglerxt]

Just from personal experience I've found myself in situations such as those, and a second chance never presented itself because of my inaction the first time around. So I was definitely kicking myself later. My thought process was my worst enemy in those cases because I'm almost 100% sure they were waiting for me to make that first move. If you expect the girl to say something or make the first move don't count on it because the only way that'll happen is if she's so interested in you she doesn't want to lose you. Which, if this is the first encounter, the chances are going to be slim to none. Unless you're Brad Pitt haha.

Hesitation = masturbation

If a girl rejects me for not kissing her on the first date, then she's not the girl for me.

 

[IsiMan84]

If a girl rejects me for not kissing her on the first date, then she's not the girl for me.

the only way that'll happen is if she's so interested in you she doesn't want to lose you. Which, if this is the first encounter, the chances are going to be slim to none. Unless you're Brad Pitt haha.

I am assuming 'encounter' to be the first time you've interacted with her, which I assume you had to do in order to arrange the date. If you are on the first date then she already has some idea in her head about you from previous interaction, even if it was online or on the phone. And note the Brad Pitt part, because looks will matter some too. She might rationalize giving you a second chance because she finds you attractive.