Girl here, but a "guys" girl...

[Mr.Kennedy]

You have self-respect issues. He obviously sees you as sex-only material, and even then he has already tired of it. Thats why the lack of sex. Get another man that likes you for what you are, and F*CKS you in the process....

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Woman starts a thread in "The Mature Man" forum and asks advice about her man... a thread to which a woman responds. She responds to a woman with advice on what to do in regards to her man...

Stop trying to confuse us, it hurts our brains... :woo:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Not sure if we really know enough about this guy, but the principle is still confirmed:

Too much circulation makes the value go down. The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. Create value through scarcity.

If nothing else, the men here can learn a valuable lesson; we only chase what runs away from us. Never be Johnny-on-the-spot with a woman if you want to keep her interested. This is a texbook example of Plate Theory; a mutually agreed, non-exclusive FB (in all likelihood) devotes his attention to another plate and the prior one can't stop fixating on him to the point she starts a thread on SoSuave to get others input.

 

[SunnyD]

No I agree, I hate how it works...wanting whatever doesn't want you.

What's the best way to deal with this? Tell him now that I'm done with this ****, or wait until he says "hey come over" then turn him down?

 

[blueguy]

You spit his game right back at him. Turn him down when he asks.

I can't believe I am helping you with this though because I am "one of those guys."

He may turn around. Likely though, he is not interested, and he will stop calling.

 

[Ripper]

I'm surprised the reality here hasn't been acknowledged by anyone yet. Her FWB is clearly not that interested anymore. His scarcity is increasing his value and now the blurring of boundaries begins as she starts wondering what's happened. Classic Greene seduction. Always be on your target's mind. (Even though this girl is clearly not the guy's target).

 

[G-Theory]

My current problem...is my FWB of 6 months. We are just casual because for 1) he is four years younger than me, 2) We work together, 3) In the beginning he wasn't over his ex. Yes I like him, but not sure I'd date him him anyway as he has cheated on every gf he's ever had and I'm starting to sense that he is a player.

You answered your own question here without having to ask him if he is seeing someone else. Why do you need to be clingy and seek validation from him?

Why not just say "hey, we're not 'together', yeah there are other girls..".

It’s obvious this guy has some confidence issues. He’s probably using sex as a tool to help him feel better about himself, especially if he isn’t over his ex.

Guys tells me that any guy would be lucky to have me.

Why are you worried about what this guy is doing? Enjoy life, go have fun.

BTW: There are plenty of women's forums you can bleed your emotions all over, consider using those instead.

 

[SunnyD]

haha wow, funny how this works.

I was talking to him on MSN tonight and he asks if Im coming to watch his hockey game this week. (I usually do) I said "no, Im sure you have other people to come watch." He asked what I meant and I finally just said how I find it odd a guy can go from having sex twice a week to not at all. He finally said he is "talking" to another girl but nothing will come of it and nothing has happened. He said his other reason is that people at work are suspecting us now so he wanted to just cool off a few weeks.

I, having SOME self-respect (atleast I like to think so)...said "well, there seem to be a lot of reasons why we should stop then. We'll just stop all together than you won't have to worry about what other people are thinking anymore..."

He quickly said "no that's not what I was getting at..." And I said "well...I'm not going to be on a rotation schedule if you're into someone else..so lets just forget it."

So now ofcourse "nah, we still will...we'll get drunk and I'll seduce you.."

UGh, you men really suck..you know that?? Atleast I know how it works now.

 

[KarmaSutra]

So now ofcourse "nah, we still will...we'll get drunk and I'll seduce you.."

How predictable you women can be. He'll come over and pour some Gentleman Jack down your gullett then you can dine on his Gentlemans relish. You know it, he knows it, vegetable lasagne over there knows it.

UGh, you men really suck..you know that?? Atleast I know how it works now.

And still your toes will be pointed up at Jesus . . .

 

[SunnyD]

No, I'm done with it. I was telling the truth when I said I won't be on a rotation schedule. No thanks.

 

[Vulpine]

What? She's still here? What is she saying?

All I get is

"Oorgle. Oorgle. Bleeat!"

and

"This message is hidden because SunnyD is on your ignore list."

 

[Poll]

No, I'm done with it. I was telling the truth when I said I won't be on a rotation schedule. No thanks.

Would you like to put a bet on it?

 

[SunnyD]

What? She's still here? What is she saying?

All I get is

"Oorgle. Oorgle. Bleeat!"

and

"This message is hidden because SunnyD is on your ignore list."

Yeah...it's no mystery why you're on these forums.

 

[WaterTiger]

SunnyD~ What? You think FWB lasts forever? You're friend is "monkey branching". He doesn't want to let go of you untill this new girl he's "talking to" starts putting out. Then he'll dump you.

See, you blew it with him already. When he was being all kissy and snuggly. He was trying to get you to see him as more than a "friend", and more as a relationship. But you insited on FWB....so he went out and got him another girl who wants a relationship.

 

[SunnyD]

SunnyD~ What? You think FWB lasts forever? You're friend is "monkey branching". He doesn't want to let go of you untill this new girl he's "talking to" starts putting out. Then he'll dump you.

See, you blew it with him already. When he was being all kissy and snuggly. He was trying to get you to see him as more than a "friend", and more as a relationship. But you insited on FWB....so he went out and got him another girl who wants a relationship.

haha no, trust me..I doubt he wanted a relationship from the very start. Some guys just do the cuddling thing regardless. Keeps the girl coming back right?

One last question and I'll leave the board and leave you guys alone...sorry to intrude. But when I was asking him why he never told me about this other girl and that's what made me mad, he said:

"you have never said to me you wanted anything but what we are doing so we are just having fun right"

I know you're all going to roll your eyes, but should I take that as "well it's too bad you never told me you wanted anything more.." Or "haha, well you never told me you wanted anything more so I can do what I want...thank god."

He also randomly asked in the middle of our arguement "do you think we'd make a good couple?"

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Treat her sweet, she can't stand you. Treat her cruel, she loves you. But be indifferent with her? She can't get enough of you. You're on the hook my dear, and the more you post about your concern here, the deeper you swallow that hook.

That said, I should also point out that a FWB or FB situation is to a woman what a LJBF arrangement is to a guy. All sex with no reciprocation of committment or emotional security. Whereas a LJBF situation is a guy playing 'surrogate boyfriend' with no reciprocation of sexual intimacy. All sex and no security versus all security and no sex.

So look on the bright side, at least he doesn't waste your time endlessly complaining about how crappy his girlfriend is to him on the phone and then goes over to fukk her 10 minutes after he hangs up with you.

 

[Drum&Bass]

Trust me, I don't have trouble getting guys. I have trouble keeping them

and then you say..

I said I don't want a relationship with him

O RLY ?

my confidence level has been shot after the experiences I have had

you fell for an engaged guy and your worried because a player isn't using you as a sperm depot.

I want the regular sex we were having. He was great, steady sex and I want that back..lol. And he's respectful (most the time) which is rare.

(is this what women mean when they say they love a bad boy but realize they can't change them so they settle for nice guys lol)...I don't buy it, you can great sex from most anyone for a long period of time

I'm here for the same reasons you guys are

sure for guys who don't get laid in the 17-24 age bracket maybe..but once you've been there and done that...its not about sex or insecurity anymore (rookie) so posting in the mature man forum i don't think you are here for the same reasons as some of us.

I hate how it works...wanting whatever doesn't want you.

It only works like that for people who are NOT worth much...and by working, i mean attraction through ignorance.

your stuck in a cycle of your own doing..you have low self esteem and bad luck with men because of your own flaws

Ugh, you men really suck..you know that??

maybe you should look at the quality of men you are attracted to and WHY you are attracted to them, more importantly maybe you need to look inside yourself 1st.

Atleast I know how it works now.

No...you have no clue nor will you ever for a VERYY long time, just by how you convey yourself in your posts. you will forever look at sites like this for theories and better ways to play the game...you are the type of woman the media needs to fuel the economy because you don't see the bigger picture.....or maybe you know what the right thing to do is, but you love the drama, you love un-stable territory and constantly obsessing over men (or anything that distracts you from the real problem you are having.

 

[azanon]

That said, I should also point out that a FWB or FB situation is to a woman what a LJBF arrangement is to a guy. All sex with no reciprocation of committment or emotional security. Whereas a LJBF situation is a guy playing 'surrogate boyfriend' with no reciprocation of sexual intimacy. All sex and no security versus all security and no sex.

So in your experience of 40+ women, you've never met one that was really in it just for the sex? That's what you're saying; that what they really want is the "committment or emotional security" and everything else is ancillary. If she's telling the truth (she just wants the steady sex), then this statement is false.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

AZANON, I didn't say it was a bad thing for a guy to have a FB. All I'm doing is comparing and contrasting.

I have no doubt that there are women who only want to get off with a guy in the early stages, but there are precious few women who will make a vocation of just being the FB for the long term. In my sexual past I've had about 8 girls I'd classify as FBs or FWBs and each one followed the same pattern - a period of about 3-4 months of non-exclusive "sex on demand" followed by a month or two of her pushing for "something more" and I was either too preoccupied by other plates I was spinning or she saw the arrangement for the dead end it really was and pursued another guy - which was usually fine with me because I got turned off by her clinginess. I can remember one in particular who asked me if I'd consider moving in with her since she was moving to a new apartment and I ended it right there.

No woman wants just steady sex - eventually more security and exclusivity will become an issue for her in the same way that the LJBF guy will eventually see he's being used as an emotional tampon. Eventually just providing security and emotional support will be sublimated by his deprivation of her sexual intimacy and he'll move on (sometimes kicking and screaming) to a better prospect just like the FB girl.

 

[azanon]

That's pretty interesting. It has me thinking then, as a strategy, maybe its best to not ever say or imply overtly that one only wants the sex if they're genuinely going to want more at some point, whether they're admitting that to themselves or not.