"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Girl got up, started crying, and then ran off right before sex (srs wtf)

oldspice891

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Hey guys I need your help for this one. My bad if this is long but this has been killing me.

So I've liked this girl for like 6 months now at work. We've been friends this whole time sort of on and off. We finally dated these past 2 weeks, just going out getting drinks etc.

It built up to Fri night she stayed the night. We both passed out because we were exhausted. Sat morning we're fooling around, and my **** is hard and rubbing on her (just made her *** through foreplay), and she gets up starts crying says she can't do this etc etc and says we should be friends. So the next 2 days (I KNOW I know I'm stupid for this) I'm trying to talk it over see where I messed up. Obviously talking it over killed any vibe left when I should have just let her run off, think, then come back. So I'm pretty stupid for talking right? Even SHE said I should have STFU.

We're honest like that and she's told me I didn't do anything wrong, I'm a perfect gentleman, she thought she was ready for this but wasn't. My buddy who saw us hanging out said she acted like a schoolgirl around me, so I don't get what went wrong. Basically she said if theres a great connection and a guy likes her and she likes him too, she's scared of getting hurt and runs off and she's done this with multiple guys. She kept telling me I did nothing wrong and that she's crazy and f*cked up and I shouldn't change myself to be with her.

I mean, did i SERIOUSLY not do anything wrong..otherwise she would have fukked me right? She's had f*ck buddies and 3 month type relationships, so I don't get how a 2 week thing with me she has feelings for me and it scares her but she's actually been f*cking other dudes for longer? She has told me about these dudes she is still hung up on. $hit doesn't make sense.

Basically she is really experienced relationship wise, whereas I am not, so I guess we are different pages? Did she pick up on this and that's the reason why she didn't want to have sex or pursue something? She said even if I was a virgin she wouldn't care though.
I don't know why I am so attracted to her. I don't get it. We argue a lot and she's crazy but that makes me want her more?

Backstory on her:
-21
-Failed Multiple long term relationships
-She revealed when she was crying she had a bad sexual trauma one night...I'll let you fill in the blank (when we were drunk out she said being a stripper/pros wasn't a bad idea, donno if it was a joke)
-Basically a sloot
-Parties drinks/hooks up a lot

Basically, so how do I view this situation? I know everyone is going to say dude stay the f*ck away from this girl. But thing is she's cool as ****, really attractive (every dude at work has tried to hit it), and we have this amazing and honest connection (not saying to sound like an infatuated bish, we really do).

Since she said we are friends and the next 2 days we talked and overanalyzed it to death, even she said she was over it, is it safe to say there is pretty much no chance of us hooking up together in the future?

So are people sometimes on different pages in life and it doesn't work out for one of the millions of reasons? You just gotta accept that and move on and not give it a 2nd thought? Is this what normal people do because I overanalyze things to death. Even she said she used to do that but stopped once she casually dated and just learned to move on from a situation without a 2nd thought.


That was long but this has been killing me these past couple days. thanks for the responses brahs.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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n00bPimp

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
No need to overanalyze a crazy slvt. She is crazy! Part of the package, no avoiding it even though you are trying to do so.
Yea don't waste your time.
Unless you have a really tiny penis that made her feel like crying just from looking at it, the problem is hers, and there's nothing you can do.
 

vatoloco

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oldspice891 said:
Sat morning we're fooling around, and my **** is hard and rubbing on her (just made her *** through foreplay), and she gets up starts crying says she can't do this etc etc and says we should be friends.
I'm not even gonna read the rest.

"Run Forrest! RUN!!"
 

women haze

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Why would you want to deal with anyone that bat freakin crazy is beyond me.

She would be nothing but drama in your life, but if you really want her you will have to do this.

Get another girl interested in you and start talking to her, when your coworker finds out you are talking to someone else She will change her tune.

That is how crazy women are....

Again you didn't mess up at all..I really don't see anything you did wrong it is all her
 

st_99

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dude, never take any of these kinds of things seriously. Just have fun with it. Maybe this b*tch is crazy, maybe she's not, whatever. Just send her a message saying, "i'll have tissues ready for you next time"


and like pairplus said, definitely don't analyze this in the least bit, its just all silly nonsense.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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oldspice891

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
No need to overanalyze a crazy slvt. She is crazy! Part of the package, no avoiding it even though you are trying to do so.
Yeah I'm starting to learn that I overanalyze too much.

n00bPimp said:
Yea don't waste your time.
Unless you have a really tiny penis that made her feel like crying just from looking at it, the problem is hers, and there's nothing you can do.
Hahah nah that's not the problem but yeah I hear ya.

vatoloco said:
I'm not even gonna read the rest.

"Run Forrest! RUN!!"
lol

women haze said:
Why would you want to deal with anyone that bat freakin crazy is beyond me.

She would be nothing but drama in your life, but if you really want her you will have to do this.

Get another girl interested in you and start talking to her, when your coworker finds out you are talking to someone else She will change her tune.

That is how crazy women are....

Again you didn't mess up at all..I really don't see anything you did wrong it is all her
I donno I guess I'm bored lol. Yeah you're right I don't want this. I'll probably do the jealousy thing just for ****s and giggles, but I think I'm over this chick and it's best to just let it go and find another.

st_99 said:
dude, never take any of these kinds of things seriously. Just have fun with it. Maybe this b*tch is crazy, maybe she's not, whatever. Just send her a message saying, "i'll have tissues ready for you next time"


and like pairplus said, definitely don't analyze this in the least bit, its just all silly nonsense.
Yeah I'm going to try not to. I guess I'm still learning not to care as much.

You guys are older and been around so I can't wait til I'm at that point where I can just shrug these situations off without a single care. Thanks for your replies guys, I feel a lot better about the situation. repped.
 

floydb25

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I swear, every crazy ***** thread has the same story. You don't need to be analyzing these girls, digging deep into them, and trying to figure out how to get them. There is no puzzle to solve, here. The warning signs are clear as day. She tells you she is crazy, hurts a lot of people, is a *****, balks at any kind of closeness... What is so appealing about this? That's like a girl telling you she has AIDs - then getting all excited at the idea of having unprotected sex with her over and over. Believe what she tells you in these instances. She's telling you she is "crazy and ****ed up". It doesn't matter why she is crazy - only that she is crazy. Crazy is not misunderstood or in need of saving - its crazy. Crazy is also not figure out where you went wrong, and try to salvage it. It's CRAZY. Just say no to crazy.

You already knew what you were getting into, what kind of person she is, and where she stands... What more is there to say? You are special, and can change her from not being crazy - by being the perfect catch, so you should try loving and pursuing her even more? Seems that's what most guys do with crazy *****es.

This has nothing to do with you. She has major problems, and even told you so. It's not like this is a test or challenge - she is crazy. Those issues you listed are HUGE. This isn't "game" at work, here. Don't confuse this with being crazy, a *****, or a crazy *****. This girl is emotionally unstable, and you need to stop sympathizing with her.
 

Divinely Exiled

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She has a split psychological ego "said she acted like a schoolgirl around me".

Be emotive, dramatic and word "daddy" usually goes down well c;
 

backbreaker

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dude that's not a red flag that's a freaking siren. GET THE FVCK OUT! ABORT!


look, you can't game crazy. when someone is crazy they are jjust crazy and that's all there is to it. all you can do is say "damn.. that girl is crazy" and tip your hat and laugh about it over drinks with friends when rehashing war stories.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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oldspice891

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whosthat said:
was she possible sad from what was rubbing on her
lmao I hope not

floydb25 said:
I swear, every crazy ***** thread has the same story. You don't need to be analyzing these girls, digging deep into them, and trying to figure out how to get them. There is no puzzle to solve, here. The warning signs are clear as day. She tells you she is crazy, hurts a lot of people, is a *****, balks at any kind of closeness... What is so appealing about this? That's like a girl telling you she has AIDs - then getting all excited at the idea of having unprotected sex with her over and over. Believe what she tells you in these instances. She's telling you she is "crazy and ****ed up". It doesn't matter why she is crazy - only that she is crazy. Crazy is not misunderstood or in need of saving - its crazy. Crazy is also not figure out where you went wrong, and try to salvage it. It's CRAZY. Just say no to crazy.

You already knew what you were getting into, what kind of person she is, and where she stands... What more is there to say? You are special, and can change her from not being crazy - by being the perfect catch, so you should try loving and pursuing her even more? Seems that's what most guys do with crazy *****es.

This has nothing to do with you. She has major problems, and even told you so. It's not like this is a test or challenge - she is crazy. Those issues you listed are HUGE. This isn't "game" at work, here. Don't confuse this with being crazy, a *****, or a crazy *****. This girl is emotionally unstable, and you need to stop sympathizing with her.
I'm not sure what you're getting at here...so you're saying this girl is crazy? Lol. I hear you man, yeah I'm pretty much over it. I guess you gotta look at the big picture and realize that time is limited and you can't waste it on crazy girls

Divinely Exiled said:
She has a split psychological ego "said she acted like a schoolgirl around me".

Be emotive, dramatic and word "daddy" usually goes down well c;
LOL
backbreaker said:
dude that's not a red flag that's a freaking siren. GET THE FVCK OUT! ABORT!


look, you can't game crazy. when someone is crazy they are jjust crazy and that's all there is to it. all you can do is say "damn.. that girl is crazy" and tip your hat and laugh about it over drinks with friends when rehashing war stories.
Haha yeah. I see what approach you guys are talking about. Not take this so seriously, just laugh it off and on to the next one. I guess that is the best approach .

I donno if someone will read my reply but she wants to come over for valentines day now wtf? Should I even bother? I'm kind of over this, so maybe I'll just cancel last minute or something I donno

Btw thanks to everyone for their replies.
 

nismo-4

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My verdict is that this b**ch is crazy!

Stop overanalyzing, just press eject. This is the best option that is for you. You don't need that kind of drama in the future. Or maybe you like it.

Move on to the next one. :box:

Case closed.
 

runner83

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Your 2 mistakes were:

1) Not hitting it on the Friday night when you had the chance

2) After her crazy b/s, trying to talk it over with her. Shoulda resisted the temptation since it changes nothing, and instead have drawn back a bit, let her attraction for you (if not already gone) build back up, then tried again.
 

ngdonjuan

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When the girl is like this and very slutty while you're not as experienced you need to drop all emotion and make it clear you want to **** her but don't get emotional. Girls like this thing sex is nbd but are scared or relationships and emotion. For you you're probably thinking the opposite, you think of sex as a big accomplishment more so then a relationship. So you need to be more casual about sex and less emotional. Don't show interest in a relationship. These girls are in fear of emotion but take sex lightly.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Alex DeLarge

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This chick was probably overanalyzing everything her self. Thinking she's a wh0re who got sucked into your seductive trap.
 

shizz702

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Just another crazy chick getting weird on you here.

It ain't your fault and as said there are no magic techniques to utilize here. Move on and refrain from contacting her, if she does come back to you make sure it is purely sexual and avoid that friend zone. Personally I would tread carefully here, you don't want to get wrapped up in this, it has BPD written all over it!
 
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