Girl got cold and distant

[way2smart]

I would like some input from fellow DJs.

I have been dating this girl since about May and I have been in a relationship with her since July. I am from Eastern Europe and so is she, and that's where I have been dating her. Then I had to leave the country for the USA for 5 months for work related reasons and I was going to go back in this December.

As much as I hate long distance relationships I had to go with this one, since my absence is only temporary.


Anyway for the last 2-3 days she started to become cold and distant when we spoke on the phone. So the next day I asked her what's been going on?

She said that we are speaking like friends now and she doesn't see anything in me that sparks her interest. Anyway, I asked her if she wants to make this relationship work or move on, she said that she needs to think for 2 days and will tell her decision about keeping or breaking up with me.

So, that got me thinking the next day. I didn't want to act like a Beta and waiting for her to make a decision.

So I called her the next day and told her that I want to break up with her.
She asked why? I said that I don't feel the spark for her too. I told her that I don't love her anymore and that I have been seeing another girl. I told her that I lost the spark because of her acting distant.

When I said that, she changed her tune immediately and told me that was not what she meant when she said I'm no longer interesting to talk to etc etc.

So I ended the relationship anyway.

I thought that since she was starting to act distant she was already thinking of dumping me, so I dumped her first in the hope that it would reignite her interest again.

What do you guys think?

Did I do the right thing by ending it first? And lying that I am seeing another girl to raise her interest and come back to me?

I went total NC since I ended it on October 13, I haven't heard anything from her yet. I have blocked her from WhatsApp , Instagram, Facebook etc.

P.S: I did dump her before, but she came back crawling and asking to forgive her. I dumped her the first time because she gave out her phone number to some new guy and lied about it. We weren't in a relationship at that time, but I dumped her anyway. So she begged me to stay and to forgive her, which I did.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Definitely did the right thing by dumping her. The fact she hasn't tried to patch things up is proof she wanted out anyway.
Good work.

 

[VladPatton]

As unfortunate as it may seem, you did the right thing. Chicks either test you by doing this, or they truly mean it. Either way, to begin crumbling and crying about it would destroy your frame and would put you in the back seat of the relationship. I'm sure she'll change her tune when you go back and you'll bang her in no time. Until then, maintain NC.

 

[TheCWord]

You handled this like a true self-respecting man. Good for you. Only thing I would have done differently? When she told you to stand by and await her decision in 2 days, I would've just ended it right there.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Handled pretty well.

Why did you block her though? That seems to convey a hint of retribution, as if you care too much, but I may be entirely wrong about that.

 

[GS750]

Handled pretty well.

Why did you block her though? That seems to convey a hint of retribution, as if you care too much, but I may be entirely wrong about that.

I considered this too when I blocked my ex. But I was tired of being annoyed by texts so I went ahead and did it. Fvck what she thinks.

 

[way2smart]

Handled pretty well.

Why did you block her though? That seems to convey a hint of retribution, as if you care too much, but I may be entirely wrong about that.

Yeah I thought that too, I probably went too far with blocking her.
Anyway, If I unblock her now, that will convey a message that I'm going to talk to her again and will initiate the first contact, which will not happen.

 

[SAYNO]

Dude I think you deservef to be rep +2 for this good job. Even the blocking part. In my experience its not worth the hassle of seeing all the text and negative comments that she'd eventually post on facebook etc. Because we all know how much women hate to be rejected. Also, the part about telling her that you had someone else again I say good job it added that extra sting doesnt matter if she thinks your a cheater or not. Hell I can almost gurantee that she had already started the branch swing process that women are notorious for doing. One word of caution though, never ever even consider taking her back once you cross that line whats done is done. She now only wants to get back with you to pay you back and dump you. I love when men turn the tables in their own favour.:rockon:

 

[way2smart]

Than you for all your replies guys! I will let you know if she tries to contact me.
Will start messing with American girls for now, since I'm already in the states. Lol

 

[dasein]

I think you did great, other than with the part of wanting her to come back to you. Here is a person who, despite your loyalty during this trip, thinks so little of you that she goes cold without saying anything, and then makes you drag -insults- out of her?

You don't "spark her interest?" Red, red flag. How insulting, thoughtless and disrespectful, especially over the phone during a 5 month separation. It's not your job to spark her interest while on an extended business trip. She needs to create an interesting life for herself. That's what quality people do. Sure sign of a privileged spoiled attitude and trouble down the road. Moreover, if this is due to some other dudes flirting or more, then she's a stone liar to boot in not coming clean.

This one is not quality. Take the excellent start you've made and move on entirely. Keep around for a F once you return if that presents itself. Never date this one exclusively again though. Good luck.

 

[way2smart]

I think you did great, other than with the part of wanting her to come back to you. .

I want her back because my feelings are clouding my judgement for now, since I love this girl. Anyway, I think this NC thing will help me realize whether I want her or not, if she comes back.
Anyway, me breaking up with her was the only option left to do in my case.

 

[way2smart]

Ice cold playa, well done.

Thanks. I have been following this forum for a while now, even though I just recently registered in order to post.

 

[nismo-4]

Erased and replaced! Or at least erased from all platforms. I'm very proud of you!