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Girl gone cold after 3rd date out of nowhere

evilguy_

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Hi guys

I read this forum very often and i feel i want to share/ask for a suggestion about this.

I have been dating an ex colleague this last month. I know her since two years but we never dated before, she left the city few times i didn't even bother myself to try.

Last month she came back and we went out with few friends, she has been flirting the whole night taking my hands and so on. We ended up at my place and we did it, she stayed till next morning.

After few days i asked her out (no convs, just ask her out straight away), she accepted and that weekend we went for dinner and afterwards again at my place. Everthing was great.. cuddles, she was talking about going somewhere togheter and so on.

Second week again i ask her to do something and because the weather was terrible we stayed at my place till next day morning, and again cuddling and so on.

Third week, sent a simple message around tuesday to go to cinema on saturday to watch a movie, she replied yes i think i can. No more convs i am quite busy and i dont like texting.

I texted her saturday afternoon and no reply for few hours. I sent her a question mark and she replied i am busy i can't come. Nothing else. I said ok and that's it.

Next day i ask her to come over my place she replied i let you know. Of course she didn't let me know. No reply from me.

I already next her and NC since sunday but what do you think happened? I guess another guy

I want to say i have never been needy, never talk about feelings or be exclusive.
 

evilguy_

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Hey first off. Good job on the close and the sex. Fun times.
From an outside perspective and ofcourse we are all still learning. By the 3rd date she should be asking you when she will see you.
I think you initiated more then her. Way more. Next time your in that situation. After the sex sit back a bit, stay busy and let her come to you. They want to pursue. That's how they feel attraction.
If you have to wait 2 weeks in between. Wait her out. We guys must learn to wait them out and if they dont. We drop them.
If you have sex and she flakes let her go. She wasn't that invested.
At this point we dont give a fck.
I understand. From your experience do you think she is gone? I kind of like her it was fun.

I don't know if NC works for a only 2 dates situation, even if she is not a stranger
 

TheGambino

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Her interest level dropped for whatever reason. The reason is not really important, the important thing is, is that you focus on new women now. Have a rotation of women so you can switch to another one and dont get caught up with one. I understand that you like her but you can't do sh*t about this. She lost interest, otherwise she would reply, she won't risk losing you.

Go NC and forget about her, she might message you in a couple of days to check you out but don't think big out of it.

The reasons for her to ignore you are probably one of these:

*new guy came up who is more interesting for her
*ex came back that she likes
*your neediness dropped her interest level

what to do now?
Focus on other things now and forget about her, meet new women.
 

evilguy_

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Her interest level dropped for whatever reason. The reason is not really important, the important thing is, is that you focus on new women now. Have a rotation of women so you can switch to another one and dont get caught up with one. I understand that you like her but you can't do sh*t about this. She lost interest, otherwise she would reply, she won't risk losing you.

Go NC and forget about her, she might message you in a couple of days to check you out but don't think big out of it.

The reasons for her to ignore you are probably one of these:

*new guy came up who is more interesting for her
*ex came back that she likes
*your neediness dropped her interest level

what to do now?
Focus on other things now and forget about her, meet new women.
When have i been needy? Initiating all the time?

She tried to make me jelosous few time telling me about all the guys hitting on her. I just laughed about it and changed argument.

I am already speaking with others that's not a problem but still it kind of sucks.

Last question, if she reach me back, how should i act? Like nothing happened or keep the nc for a while? I don't mind f:ck her again honestly
 

The Diver

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message around tuesday to go to cinema on saturday to watch a movie, she replied yes i think i can. No more convs i am quite busy and i dont like texting.
You text her on Tuesday to go for a movie on Saturday. She said kind of Yes. Instead of getting back to her with time and place, you ghosted on her. Then you popped up on Saturday afternoon few houres bf the movie, thinking she is sitting duck waiting for your call. She sees you didn't contact her to set a time and place for almost 4 days, said " Fu*ck that " and went and found someone else.

i am quite busy and i dont like texting.
It takes a 30sec' to text time and place. It's not busy, it's a silly game.
 
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evilguy_

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You text her on Tuesday to go for a movie on Saturday. She said kind of Yes. Instead of getting back to her with time and place, you ghosted on her. Then you popped up on Saturday afternoon few houres bf the movie, thinking she is sitting duck waiting for your call. She sees you didn't contact her to set a time and place for almost 4 days, said " Fu*ck that " and went and found someone else.



It takes a 30sec' to text time and place. It's not busy, it's a silly game.
No wait i texted her saturday at noon with time and place and she ignored me. And then after 3 hours i sent a ?

And it wasnt tuesday but wednesday when i asked her out
 

evilguy_

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She came to ur place twice or was it 3 times, and from ur OP it seems to suggest that you guys just cuddled and kissed.

Was there sex involved?
We did it the night we went out with our friends she literally jumped on me. And of course all the other dates ended in sex.
 

evilguy_

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This is true at the beginning approach etc etc. But by the 3rd date or around 3 to the 6th week she should be doing the majority of the initiating, calling and texting.
Ok got it but jeez this can't be 100% of the times if you initiate the 3rd date you are automatically screwed. I think another guy pop up and she was more interested in him maybe because he s someone new in her life.

Anyway thanks i'll apply this for the next
 

Spaz

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We did it the night we went out with our friends she literally jumped on me. And of course all the other dates ended in sex.
Since you said you weren't acting needy.

Then it's either the sex wasn't memorable or the sex wasn't great.

Sorry bud, you need more training.
 

evilguy_

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Since you said you weren't acting needy.

Then it's either the sex wasn't memorable or the sex wasn't great.

Sorry bud, you need more training.
I don't know i don't think sex is the reason, i am quite sure she enjoyed it (and no i didn't ask her about it and also no she was not faking moaning/shouting like a daemon). I am not 20yr if she was faking contractions, been wet like a lake and so on.. well she deserves an oscar right now
 

Trump

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As Spaz said, it has to be the sex.

I would say the dates weren’t very memorable either. Friends, dinner, stay in, movie. She needs some excitement.

Unless she’s a slut, I don’t think normal girls have sex with a guy 4 times, and then go have sex with another guy right after.
 

Hal9000

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Hard to say for sure. You definitely don't sound needy but you may have gone too far in the other direction. If you're having sex with a girl, and have gone out multiple times, most of them are going to expect some kind of daily contact at some point. Good morning, good night, etc kind of stuff. Going out, having sex, then sending her on her way with no contact for a few days until you try to plan your next get together may make her feel like just a booty call. She may feel like if you're too busy to text her for 4 days you may be too busy to really date anyone. It could be something else but it's something for you to consider.
 

evilguy_

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As Spaz said, it has to be the sex.

I would say the dates weren’t very memorable either. Friends, dinner, stay in, movie. She needs some excitement.

Unless she’s a slut, I don’t think normal girls have sex with a guy 4 times, and then go have sex with another guy right after.
dinner was fun to be honest we went around the city drunk afterwards and then home. when we stayed in she actually proposed to stay at home and watch something.

Hard to say for sure. You definitely don't sound needy but you may have gone too far in the other direction. If you're having sex with a girl, and have gone out multiple times, most of them are going to expect some kind of daily contact at some point. Good morning, good night, etc kind of stuff. Going out, having sex, then sending her on her way with no contact for a few days until you try to plan your next get together may make her feel like just a booty call. She may feel like if you're too busy to text her for 4 days you may be too busy to really date anyone. It could be something else but it's something for you to consider.
i never send her away, i actually asked her to stay for lunch but she had to go.
and also when i asked her out, before i ask her about a personal issue she was having, i wasn't cold to just text hey do you want to hang out togheter and that's it.

i don't know, last time i saw her she was really happy we have been laughing all the time in bed, last week for sure something happened
 
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evilguy_

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i also want to add she told me more than once she likes to play games when dating/reletionship
 

Visionist

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My first lay wasn't a virgin, or I doubt she was, but she was terrible in bed. I had an excuse, not that she knew I was a virgin at the time.

Anyway I acted a mixture of needy (sexting her during the day when she was with her family) and Chaddy (telling her straight up to her face that I didn't love her and only wanted to f**k her, after having sex a second time) which turned her away real quick. We met, had sex twice and broke up all in the space of under a week.
 

evilguy_

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Sure thing. Good luck too and don't under estimate the power of return flakiness to a woman. They are very much like cats. That's true. In the felines various personalities.
Btw sometimes they will flake no matter what you do. Hyper gamy can show up. Its a bytch but strive to get where the shyt don't surprise you. Its actually funny to me how you can predict this shyt.
Guess what.. she contacted me back, i am thinking to act like nothing happened and see where it goes i am curious to know if she wants to see me or boost her ego

what do you guys think?
 
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