"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Girl going out of town after first date

freethrowmj

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Hi guys, first post here, just thought I'd ask a little advice on a situation I'm a little unsure of.

I hung out with this girl for the first time last night (wednesday) that I've been interested in recently. Took her bowling just to keep things casual.

we made out at the end of the night, and I asked if she was busy sunday, but she said she was going out of town for about a week with her family sunday morning (we go to the same school and it's spring break).
The date went well, but I didn't text her later in the night and don't plan on it today either, she's very friendly and from when I've seen her at school I assume that she's used to attention from guys so I figured best not to at this point.

My question is, when should I call or text her seeing as she's about to be out of town for a week? I don't want to wait too long and make her lose interest, but at the same time a lot of people on this board seem to religiously believe that you should only call or text to make plans, which I normally do, but would mean waiting about a week to contact her.

If it matters, I'm 19, she's 21, and I'm dating a couple other girls currently but I like her a lot, and would like to get into a relationship with her. From the way I've read her, I'm pretty sure she's into me, although she mentioned in a text the night before the date that she doesn't know if she's ready to start dating again.

Thinkin about calling her sunday night just to follow up and see how she's doing. What do you guys think? Thanks in advance
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Tiguere

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if shes leaving sunday .. call her and ask her out for either friday or saturday. if she declines and doesnt offer a reschedule date DROP HER. high interest girl will make an effort to see you again. by the way did you at least try to take her home last night?? if NOT THEN WHY????. b!tches these days make out with just anyone.
 

VladPatton

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No problem, you wait a week till she gets back. You have to be patient to get your girl at times. I'd even go as far as wait for her to contact first. If she doesn't, something went down on her trip. Then you could be sure it wasn't a 'family vacation' she was on.
 

freethrowmj

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She mentioned in a random conversation earlier in the night about some plans she had saturday, I forgot exactly what, and I'm busy friday which is why I suggested sunday. And no I didn't cause I had a final at 9am today I had to study for and she had one a bit later today also
 

freethrowmj

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VladPatton said:
No problem, you wait a week till she gets back. You have to be patient to get your girl at times. I'd even go as far as wait for her to contact first. If she doesn't, something went down on her trip. Then you could be sure it wasn't a 'family vacation' she was on.
Well I know it wasn't a lie, she mentioned a few days ago at school about how was going up north to visit some family during spring break, I just didn't know when she'd be leaving. And it was our first "date," you don't suggest I make first contact?

I should also mention that while she is very friendly and talkative, she still seems pretty reserved, has strict parents who give her a curfew, doesn't really drink or party, etc
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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ARrocket

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Don't contact her until she's back from her trip (if you want, something quick/funny to acknowledge her presence after making out with her).

Use the week to spin some plates.

Hit her up when she's back, proceed like there was no break.

Don't overthink things.
 

3countriesPlan

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Haha I mentioned the whole "trip" thing in my post in the Don Juan Tips section.. She probably gargling buk@kke in some rundown motel 6.

Anyways, since you got a rotation of girls you need to just deprioritize this one and let her run to get back on the train. Let her contact you after her trip -- you don't need to chase at all.
 

freethrowmj

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Cool, thanks for the replies. Ima call her in a week and see how things go, if she doesnt hit me up before then already.

Also, I know it's kinda arbitrary and brought up too many times, but what are your guys thoughts on calling vs texting in a situation like this? I'm new to this forum and just curious what the general consensus is around here about the old call or text debate.
 

freethrowmj

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Follow up post, i texted her this last sunday night, built a little rapport and asked her what she was doing this week. She said she was really busy cause she just started her internship, has scholarship essays to write, blah blah whatever.
Said she couldnt hang out this week cause shes too busy, and didn't offer a counter offer either. i was about to go to sleep anyway so i didnt respond.

There's a pretty good chance ill run into her within the next few weeks at school. So my question is: where should i go from here? no contact til i maybe run into her at school and then ask her out? no contact and act uninterested if i do run into her? text her and try again this week or next week?

might be some noob questions but just trying to maximize my chances. ill be spinning a couple other plates but i do like this girl the most out of them haha
 

Exoduso

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Like people have mentioned... whatever the hell she has that keeps her "oh so busy", she will always make room for someone who she has enough interest for. Girls that are interested enough will get into their car at 2 in the damn morning and come to you if you've peaked their interest enough. If she's brushing you off and doesn't talk about any other times where she might be free, you might want to start thinking of moving on, or at least deprioritizing her and let her come to you.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Big Nuts

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Not exactly stalking you is she? NC...next...
 

Zarky

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I'm dating a couple other girls currently but I like her a lot, and would like to get into a relationship with her.
LOL oneitis after one date eh? Keep studying, you got a long way to go.
 

VladPatton

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freethrowmj said:
Follow up post, i texted her this last sunday night, built a little rapport and asked her what she was doing this week. She said she was really busy cause she just started her internship, has scholarship essays to write, blah blah whatever.
Said she couldnt hang out this week cause shes too busy, and didn't offer a counter offer either. i was about to go to sleep anyway so i didnt respond.

There's a pretty good chance ill run into her within the next few weeks at school. So my question is: where should i go from here? no contact til i maybe run into her at school and then ask her out? no contact and act uninterested if i do run into her? text her and try again this week or next week?

might be some noob questions but just trying to maximize my chances. ill be spinning a couple other plates but i do like this girl the most out of them haha

If you get no texts or calls, ask her casually ONE MORE TIME when you see her in person. If she declines with no counteroffer, it's over. Say goodbye, turn away and walk. I don't care how much you like her, it is the most dignifies thing to do. Sorry, man, at least you tried. Good luck.
 
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