"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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girl giving the most mixed signals evar

ohiobohio518

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A month ago I went to prom with Kate. She asked ME to prom (woah!), but only because time was running short and she had turned down all her previous offers for the perfect guy that never happend - AKA she is a very good looking girl with high standards who turned to me as last resort - someone who she barely knew.

I went on a few dates with her before prom to get to know her better, and she showed no resistance or sign of disinterest. She unhesitatingly accepted all of my date offers. However, I did not kiss close or initiate any kino for fear of rejection - and this was the one time, in my opinion, that I had a legitimate reason to fear rejection: Had I gone in for the kiss and gotten rejected, prom would have been extremely awkward.

During our dates, conversation was often awkward and I struggled through them just as I struggled through prom itself. I didn't click with her, and thus couldn't find a reason to like her. She was just a pretty face. I'm sure she felt the same way.

We were separated at prom for about 2 hours (that would be a euphemism for "I couldn't find her for 2 hours" which would be a euphemism for "she ditched me for 2 hours.") I danced with her for an hour on and off, but I lost her whenever I left her to go speak to my friends or get a drink - then I lost her for good at the afterparty. I couldn't care less because I didn't like her.

BUT. A few days after prom, I began to talk to her more and our conversations became less awkward. It flowed better and it felt like her personality was finally beginning to show. I started having feelings for her. She asked me to hang out but I couldn't that day, and my counteroffer did not work as she was going on vacation soon after. The only method of contact between us since then (and currently) is via MSN. Phonecalls are not an option as it would be super long-distance.

Now I look back at prom and wonder if she ever had interest in me in the first place. I have reasons to believe that she did, and I made that clear. I also have reasons to believe that she did not, and I hope I have also made that clear. I don't think what happend at prom is enough concrete evidence to suggest disinterest. Even though she was pretty, I had a higher social status than her in high school. She may have felt equally nervous or awkward, even though I'm not ridiculously good looking like she is.

I don't know my right method of approach here. I know for a fact that I am going to ask her to a date when she comes back (in AUGUST - WTF) but as of right now the internet is my only source of communication with her. Bummer, I know. Should I continue to talk to her online, even though you guys frown upon it?

Lastly: If she was willing to go out with me alone (thus making it a date) many times before prom and was willing to do it afterwards, would that be an IOI? (The obvious answer here is YES, but under the circumstances (like prom and her ditching) I dunno.)
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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vp171s

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In my humble opinion, I think you should talk to her as little now as possible. Save the "getting to know each other" for your date, once shes back.

Sounds like you guys didn't quite get off on the right foot. I say give it sometime for her to get back, ask her out, see how it goes and then decide.

Don't let the past drive your future though.

Was she interested? Is she interested? None of us can tell you that. It's a guessing game. We have this predefined logic of what girls *should* act like, which not always applies. So give don't lose any sleep over it yet...
 

ohiobohio518

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Ordinarily I would take your advice on the waiting for her to get back, but we're both going off to different colleges next year. Time is an issue.

But then this gets to the whole pursue-a-long-distance-relationship thing that I hate talking about. Bleh.
 

vp171s

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ohiobohio518 said:
Ordinarily I would take your advice on the waiting for her to get back, but we're both going off to different colleges next year. Time is an issue.

But then this gets to the whole pursue-a-long-distance-relationship thing that I hate talking about. Bleh.
Sounds like your lives aren't crossing. So unless you feel a soul-mate connection...let it go.
 
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