jglide123
Don Juan
Any of you guys every have a terrific interaction with a girl, thinking the entire time that you made a great impression on her, only to call/text her a few days later and be ignored?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Sometimes they just want the self validation, that they *could* have someone if they wanted to.MisterD said:This happened to me a few weeks ago. WTF?
I text her 3 days later, thinking this was so in the bag, it wasn't funny. No response. Text her four days after that, no response.
That was it. Never heard from her ever again
Yep, only to have her suddenly contact me out of the blue weeks or even months later and be all "what's up?" like we're friends or something.jglide123 said:Any of you guys every have a terrific interaction with a girl, thinking the entire time that you made a great impression on her, only to call/text her a few days later and be ignored?
Yeah this has happened to me as well.MisterD said:This happened to me a few weeks ago. WTF?
SHE approaches ME. Opens ME up. Giggled at everything I said, even when it wasn't funny. Before she leaves she says "You can have my number if you want. I normally don't do this but...you're...I don't know...different".
Asked me to have lunch with her as soon as I took her number down. I told her I already had plans. Asked what my interests are, I told her photography, she said oh wow me too! Maybe you can come with me to buy a new camera!
Before I can even answer she says--oh I'm so sorry! am I coming on too strong? do you have a girlfriend? I laughed and said no it's cool.
Said our goodbyes. I text her my number when I get home, she's excited. I text her 3 days later, thinking this was so in the bag, it wasn't funny. No response. Text her four days after that, no response.
That was it. Never heard from her ever again and I'm not planning on trying to contact her again.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I did play it pretty cool, but that was mostly a result of her dominating the convo. She would ask me questions and before I could give an answer she would answer the question herself. So for the most part I was just nodding my head and laughing. I really didn't try to game her in any way or do anything clever, she did everything. The approach, lead the conversation, number closed me. I said maybe 15-20 words in the twenty minutes we spoke. She came up with 2 or 3 date ideas during the convo. One was lunch immediately after giving me her number, the camera thing, and one other one I believe. She said several times how different I am, and then the topic of astrology came up and I mentioned I'm a scorpio and she was saying how her sign is a perfect match for scorpios or whatever. I mean it was blatantly obvious.Trump said:Yeah this has happened to me as well.
It's an ego validation thing and you were used as bait. You bought what she was selling very fast, so now she can go tell her boyfriend she's still got it and is desirable so he better get act together and pay attention to her.
Think when they come on so strong you have to play it cool, as in anything in life. Never get too high or too low. Also ask her to call you to set something up when they are that excited. They have to backup what they are saying or else it's complete bs.
nismo-4 said:Order in the court!
All women have boyfriends.
All women have options.
All women cheat.
All women don't give a f**k about a man's feelings.
A woman can have a man at any time. Never believe a woman who says she can't get a man.
Women aren't scared of rejection, unless it's from a handsome rich guy, it hurts.
This happened to me too BTW. Part of why I nearly hate women in Atlanta, why I'll never get married, and why I don't believe in love. :cuss:
Without getting excessively technical, this is called outcome dependence. You got a number, it didn't work out, and now you're fixated on it. Move on, there are other girls. You can call or text her again. Nonetheless, move on and meet new people.jglide123 said:Any of you guys every have a terrific interaction with a girl, thinking the entire time that you made a great impression on her, only to call/text her a few days later and be ignored?
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Yeah, it's crazy what some of the guys are posting. Giving a number is not like giving a blood oath. You don't own her after she gives you a number!bigneil said:Guys ultimately want to think that if they got a number, she should reply to his text, go on a date, fall in love, and be a faithful wife forever.
Anything less than that and it's because women are corrupted, and he'll post at the point of failure. But if that policy were in effect, your woman would have got married 100 chumps ago.
95% of the time we are dumped it's because we weren't good enough to keep their attraction. The only fault I place then is women who underestimate our ability to improve and have a zero-tolerance policy on disagreements.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.