"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Girl gets bad news, tries to take it out on me?

The LadyKiller

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Last month, I went out with a HB in my social circle. We both had a really fun time and the only question was "when" regarding our next date. The connection was there. I felt I had finally met a nice girl who was normal and didn't have issues. But then, an evil wind blew in our little play world.

HB had earned a spot on a year-long project at work that she was very excited about. One month in, they cancelled the project and told HB and the other people on the project they had to return to their old (less desirable) assignments. We work at the same company, so I was well aware of the news.

It was a given that HB would upset about the news - she was happy to by leaving the old department, then learned she had to go back. However, it seems she's only taking it out on me. Barely talking to me (if at all), coming off somewhat condescending when we do talk and acts in a robotic, unemotional manner. However, it appears she pays attention to what I'm up to and will listen to anything I say (i.e. the other day she had to fix a bug at work, only listened to my insight). Her friends and I also remain on good terms. Odd.

The one time I felt her behavior was noticeable by others, I called her out on it and said this charade needs to end. She repeated that it's nothing having to do with me (but with her project) and that "we're still good." I'm going to say that was probably a lie.

Is there something I missed that could be pi$$ing her off?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jurry

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Maybe. Maybe not. Doesn't make a damn bit of difference.

You can only control you; if she is interested it'll happen. Dont spend your time trying to figure her out, just enjoy life and keep moving.
 

Darth

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The LadyKiller said:
However, it seems she's only taking it out on me. Barely talking to me (if at all), coming off somewhat condescending when we do talk
Then dump her. See if her attitude changes then.

I have a 0-tolerance policy for women who are "condescending". They should be grateful, or else.
 

mangotot

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Why are you dating women from work? Everything else is not relevant.
 

Serenity

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It could be anything, often they might not even know themselves. Don't involve yourself in it and just see if she gets over it by herself, whatever it is. It's one thing to notice how a person feels, but you can't know what they think. Struggling with things can affect other areas that has nothing to do with it.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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LorenzoVonM

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Not everything is about you. And in this case its not.

The positive is that now you know how she will handle disappointment and adversity. You think you'd want to be in a relationship with that?

And like others said, don't date chicks at work.
 

logicallefty

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In a not so serious, relatively new relationship I would go something like this:

"HB, I am sorry it didn't work out for you. I know it meant a lot. You seem really distraught right now so I am going to leave you alone for a while and let you gather your thoughts to think everything over... Just give me a call when you are feeling better and let's see where we are, ok"

Let's her know that you have noticed her change in attitude towards you, and also shows her you aren't going to sit around and put up with crummy behavior.
 

hudpes

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^^^^I totally dig this. Seems to be something a well mannered, self confident, emotionally stable man would say.
 
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