Girl from work

[Ever onward]

I started a new job a few weeks ago. Normally I would never get mixed up with anyone from work (so don't tell me not to **** where I eat, I know that ) but in this case, the girl came to me.

I work on an assembly line in a room of about 40 people. So this girl went out of her way and approached me last week from a few lines over, started a conversation, yada yada yada we work 7 days a week and we've been flirty every single day since.

Now let me explain my mindset on the situation. I enjoyed the flirting. I enjoyed the attention. But I wasn't going to pursue her because A) It's work and B) pursuing is bad! If anything, I wanted to just remain flirtatious and let her pursue me. Everyone at my line (she works at the next one over) would smile and laugh at the way we carried on and tell me that she was "my girlfriend". But she never seemed to take the initiative. She never pulled the trigger even though it was blatantly obvious through my flirting that I was interested.

So that brings us to now. Now keep in mind that yesterday was fine. Flirt flirt flirt.

Then today another guy went into her area and started carrying on with her. I, trying to be indifferent, tried to ignore things. However, I saw them pull out their cell phones and it looked like they were exchanging numbers. Later, I saw the guy off in the distance messing with his phone. Looked like he was sending a text. Then I looked at her and she was messing with her phone too. Hmmmm

Grrrr I will never stop getting attached! Maybe it happened because I just came out of that relationship last month and was on the rebound, I don't know. Anyway, now I feel uncomfortable at work because I feel like everyone around me knows that I liked that girl and now she is so obviously carrying on with another guy right in front of me. To make it worse, my immediate coworkers seem to be laughing and going on about her carrying on with that guy but I can't tell, because I don't speak Spanish. The good news is that this is a temp job that only lasts another 4 to 5 weeks.

Transferring to another position is not an option. So I have no alternative but to sit there miserable and watch them carry on with each other (because my line faces hers and she works less than 15 feet from me). I feel like if I do anything at this point to spark her interest it would be pursuing.

So my intuition tells me to pull back and lose the attachment. But I don't think I should ignore her as that would be me TRYING to be indifferent which is still pursuing. I think I should be friendly and outgoing at work with everyone to show her (and everyone) that I'm still a cool guy and be above feeling jealous and also not being blatantly miserable about it. Problem is that where I work around 95 percent of everyone speaks Spanish (even the girl I like and the guy who is pursuing her) so it's very hard for me to communicate with all but a few people in the room I work in.

I'm at a loss guys. What should I do? My big concern here is to not be miserable at work for my time remaining there and save face.

 

[Tazman]

I started a new job a few weeks ago. Normally I would never get mixed up with anyone from work (so don't tell me not to **** where I eat, I know that ) but in this case, the girl came to me.

If doing this is "normally" not acceptable to you, what difference does it make that SHE came to you?

Now let me explain my mindset on the situation. I enjoyed the flirting. I enjoyed the attention. But I wasn't going to pursue her because A) It's work and B) pursuing is bad!

If you were never going to pursue her, I don't see what the problem is. Nobody knows what your "true" intentions were with her, where's the embarrassment? Save face? Sounds like this is all in your head.

I actually think you should've went for it, especially since this is just a temp job. Seems like you missed a good opportunity according to how regretful you feel about it now. You can still give it a shot and ask her out, she may not be into the guy that much or she's trying to make you jealous since you never made a move on her. You'll be gone in a few weeks anyway...

 

[jophil28]

Go back to being yourself - the same self who rolled up to work before this AW started toying with you.
Who gives a flying f**k what the other workers think. It only matters what you think.

 

[Ever onward]

I hate to comment before many people respond (I don't want you guys to hold back) but I gotta say you guys give GREAT insight. Keep it comin'

 

[Ever onward]

Alright, since nobody else has told it to me STRAIGHT or none of you JOKERS have given me some tough love, guess I'll just have to comment on what other guys posted.

Tazman -

If doing this is "normally" not acceptable to you, what difference does it make that SHE came to you?

It's normally not acceptable to me because you can get in trouble having a crush on AND showing interest in a coworker if she isn't into it. In this case since she initiated things, I thought it might be fun to see where it lead.

If you were never going to pursue her, I don't see what the problem is. Nobody knows what your "true" intentions were with her, where's the embarrassment? Save face? Sounds like this is all in your head.

I didn't intend to pursue her but I had interest in her. My new outlook on meeting women is they do the pursuing, I do the choosing. True, no one knows what my actual intentions were (not even me) but it's pretty obvious to my immediate coworkers that I had a lil crush. They could pick up that much from my body language alone (they all speak spanish except one is bilingual).

I actually think you should've went for it, especially since this is just a temp job. Seems like you missed a good opportunity according to how regretful you feel about it now. You can still give it a shot and ask her out, she may not be into the guy that much or she's trying to make you jealous since you never made a move on her. You'll be gone in a few weeks anyway.

I have no idea about all that. Asking a coworker out is so close to harassment, is it not? I don't want to make things weird at work. It's already pretty weird because I'm all miserable and jealous.

Jophil -

Go back to being yourself - the same self who rolled up to work before this AW started toying with you.
Who gives a flying f**k what the other workers think. It only matters what you think.

I think what Taz (and now you) are saying that it's all in my head is right. I just gotta keep my worries in check and reframe everything that happens as being positive in my favor.

Thanks guys,