"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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girl FRIEND comes over 3am after clubbing..

chance-

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im confused with this girl cause when we first met she said to me she just wanted to be platonic friends.. and so did i to be honest cause im not fully attracted to her but shes not bad looking. just nothing id drool over.

okay so i been hangin out with this girl i met last week.. kinda almost everyday. she comes after work, hangs out, we have dinner, go for walks, i went shopping with her yesterday (yes a friend thing i know), just been hangin out alot you know... then today.. well this morning (its 7am now) .. much earlier on she called me just to say hey and that she was to a gay club with her gay male friend. so they were all gay in the club... then she calls me 2am asking if she could come over which i thought was a joke... so anyway she came.. all dressed up n stuff... now i havent had a girl in my room .. sleep on my bed for a veryy very long time. and im terrible at doing making moves cause i was so use to girls making moves on me back in the day (not being up myself but usually every girl ive fuked has made it easy for me).

so im watchin a movie and i jump on the bed with her lying down.. i told her to lie down make her self comfortable. instead shes got her feet on my head side and my feet are on her head side.. so i make her laugh alot as usual and blah blah.. oh and i offered to massage her the other night, she declined...

so anyway, she kinda falls asleep.. wakes up when the movies done.. then i hit the lights n all and we are lying in bed but shes way on the other side (to me thats not a good sign) and im like.. sitting there thinking for ages why the fuk did she come over at this time and then just totally cold shoulder me. you'd think she would go home instead to sleep. we talk and laugh a little but then she wraps the blanket around her, turns her back to me and is like good night.

i could NOT sleep at all and was very uncomfortable.. after about almost an hour of lying there in the heat (it was hot to me) i just got up and went to the other room... she got up a few moments after that and looked for me askin what im doing. i said .. its too hot i cant sleep. you take the whole bed its okay.. im going to lie on the other bed. she went back to my bed but five mins later got up and put her heels on and said she was leaving.. she sounded a bit upset too.. i said you dont have to go you can sleep on my bed.. she said no its okay ill disturb you another time. i opened the door and she walked out and said bye... i said.. ill talk to you soon okay.. she just said yep and hopped in the car and left. didnt seem happy.. probably just tired i dunno.

sorry for the long post but this is the reason ive never had girl FRIENDS in my life. ive always been alone and use to it. the only girls ive had were very short term relationships or one night stands. so what's this girls deal? she wants to be friends but she comes to my house 3am with this sexy dress and her tits showing.

ps we are pretty open about things. sometimes ill put things down her bra or whatever but it doesnt get past that since she never makes a move. she just sometimes hits me with a pillow when im mean to her or whatever. or slaps my arm. arrgg women!

btw this isnt me asking how to get in her pants. im just trying to figure her out.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Julian

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Sounds like a simple case of you had no balls, sounds like this chick makes the decisions for you. When it comes to pretty much everything yall have done. just what im assuming..
 

slaog

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It seems she wanted something to happen and then was a bit disappointed when nothing happened. She might have just wanted sex and nothing else or maybe she likes you more then shes letting on. If you just met her last week and shes hanging with you every day then she obviously likes being in your company.


You should have had some fun with her and built up some tension. Women don't usually make the first move so its up to you to crank up the tension.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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chance-

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well if she did she sure didn't make it easy turning her back to me. and didnt even lie near my face .. instead her feet near my face. shes recently single btw.. but yeah i would of just felt VERY uncomfortable tryin to kiss her when she might not want that.

she hasnt spoken to me today and thats the first time shes never msg me or called. should i talk to her about this and tell her what i want from her?
 

Jay Dee

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Recently single you say?

Well that's one big flag already - just keep any emotions away from this one for a bit, just focus on getting your end wet for now. Stop worrying about what she wants, aim for what you want instead.

You missed an opportunity that night, but don't go changing what you've been doing, if you haven't been the one to contact her first to come round, then don't start now, she'll pick up on the lack on consistency and you'll probably lose out. If you have, give it a few days and ask her round.

Better to keep cool, focus on other chicks, and IF she comes around again, play fight with her, start touching her up kino style, ignore what she says that might throw you off as it's just the defenses talking, and lead/steer the interaction towards a kissing sess, and beyond.

If she resists, back off for a bit then try again, unless she leaves of course.
 

chance-

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i dont think ive called her once yet. she would of called me about 6 times since we met already .. well today we had a lil chat

me: seriously though.. i do like you and i am attracted to you :) i just thought id let you know

her: aww.. thank you *my name* .. ur really sweet

her: i like you too

now shes not the hottest girl but shes okay for just messin with i suppose so i dont care that much how it turns out. i even just got an offer from another girl to catch up for a coffee next week or so cause shes visiting where i live.

now she just told me she likes me too. and everytime i talk about her in a sexual way she doesnt seem to mind. i told her to wear that revealing top from the other day and she just smile.
 

amoka

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Now you are not just one of her girl friend, you are officially one of her gay guy friend. Just like those with zero testicle she went to gay club with.
 

amoka

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chance- said:
i dont think ive called her once yet. she would of called me about 6 times since we met already .. well today we had a lil chat

me: seriously though.. i do like you and i am attracted to you :) i just thought id let you know

her: aww.. thank you *my name* .. ur really sweet

her: i like you too

now shes not the hottest girl but shes okay for just messin with i suppose so i dont care that much how it turns out. i even just got an offer from another girl to catch up for a coffee next week or so cause shes visiting where i live.

now she just told me she likes me too. and everytime i talk about her in a sexual way she doesnt seem to mind. i told her to wear that revealing top from the other day and she just smile.
Save yourself, Romeo. What crap is this? How old is this woman? and How old are you?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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chance-

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shes 29 im 25. whats wrong with telling her i thought she was attractive? she also told me "ur not too bad yourself" after i told her she had a nice rack and that she should wear that sexy top again next time. it was killing me so i just had to tell her right now
 

FreD_BeaR

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wow what a bad move after another. she wanted you to step up, shoulda told her to get her stanky feet out of your face then got her to move, or just moved yourself, its pretty simple. shouldnt of told her "im attracted to you" either, its probably doomed now,but whats done is done. Just move on and forget about this ****, but learn from it obviously. Spin your plates, dont act needy or like pvssy anymore. If she give you another chance or keeps talkin to you don't blow it. Let us know what happens.
 

MacDaddy

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Agree with you chance- that she didn't make it easy but not sure why you didn't just try anyway. She was in your bed at 3am, uninvited. After not trying and telling her she is attractive, and the key is the sequence of events, you stand very little chance going forward
 

lakeshore

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Uhh, dude she definitely wanted it. Most girls are not just going to rip their clothes off in some porn style episode. They want to seem like you have to try a bit, its no big deal.

All you had to do was keep pressing a bit, little by little. Rub her back, kiss her neck, etc. Expect a little resistance, you would have been in that sh*t in a matter of minutes.

You failed, no biggie. you're 25, she's 29 recently single and so so looking. You missed out on nothing anyway.
 

HariPoter13

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All the necessary prerequisites are already present, so I bet you'll be having oneitis over her in the end. Do learn something from this so you don't screw it up next time.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

chance-

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man oh man you guys were wrong .. and so was i. told her everything... how i wanted her bad and all that ****. called me today, wanted to come over and we fuked for a couple hrs. how do you guys explain that one? she also did say i really make her happy and laugh alot and she thinks im cute. most chicks woulda ran off eh? shes comin over again tonight.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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chance- said:
man oh man you guys were wrong .. and so was i. told her everything... how i wanted her bad and all that ****. called me today, wanted to come over and we fuked for a couple hrs. how do you guys explain that one? she also did say i really make her happy and laugh alot and she thinks im cute. most chicks woulda ran off eh? shes comin over again tonight.
You f**ked up and you somehow recovered. Consider it luck, because most of the time once you reject a girl who is very blatantly trying to bang you, you don't get a second chance.

Oh and "telling her everything" that normally doesn't work either. There are exceptions to every rule, but I don't think you could logically expect that to work for every girl in your future, right? Deny them a bang and then "tell them how you want them so bad"....that's like the exact opposite of what works.
 

Bible_Belt

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chance- said:
man oh man you guys were wrong .. and so was i. told her everything... how i wanted her bad and all that ****. called me today, wanted to come over and we fuked for a couple hrs. how do you guys explain that one? she also did say i really make her happy and laugh alot and she thinks im cute. most chicks woulda ran off eh? shes comin over again tonight.

Good for you. Her putting out does not make your past mistakes any better, though. She just likes you enough to overlook them.

A lot of your questions involved trying to understand discrepancies between her words and her actions. It's simple - ignore her words and watch her actions.
 

katatonia

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chance- said:
man oh man you guys were wrong .. and so was i. told her everything... how i wanted her bad and all that ****. called me today, wanted to come over and we fuked for a couple hrs. how do you guys explain that one? she also did say i really make her happy and laugh alot and she thinks im cute. most chicks woulda ran off eh? shes comin over again tonight.
Incoming flake.

But yeah you went the symp route once and it paid off, good for you. She sounded like she was already attracted to you and probably desperate for a bang so it's no real surprise actually.
 
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