Girl Flakes, What Do You Say?

[ENIGMA16]

This girl and I had plans to get brunch today. Totally set in stone plans. I made them with her last week over Facebook when I got her number, called her on Thursday to confirm, she even sent me a text yesterday asking if we were still on for brunch today. I told her definitely and that I'd call her around 11.

Call her at 11, no response. Send a text asking her if she's still down at 11:30 and call her one final time at 12, no response whatsoever.

Deleted this girl's number from my phone.

TBH I'm a little upset, but moreso because it disrupted my day in putting time aside for her. I'm not really that mad at her, just not interested in tolerating flakes when I could find girls out there that actually look forward to seeing me.

Not sure what to say to her next time I talk to her though. Obviously I'm gonna be nice and cool with her but aloof and keep it short, but I'm not sure what to say if she wants to set something else up. Should I just be like "Yeah maybe some other time" or should I just straight up tell her that I'm busy and can't be wasting my time setting up plans with a girl that just flakes on me (obviously say it in a nice, straightforward manner).

 

[blueline]

just move on, but don't burn bridges like that as it's not necessary.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Wasn't planning on burning a bridge, just making my intentions clear that I can't waste my time like that.

 

[Tiguere]

next time set the meeting for 2-3 days in the future. you hurt now because you spent a whole week calculating this meeting and worst you didnt date during that week so all your eggs were put on this basket.

tip: set the meeting as soon as possible( next day after getting the number if possible). you cant let time go by these h03s are contantly getting hit on by betas..alphas..dush...jerks..aholes etc etc etc

 

[ENIGMA16]

next time set the meeting for 2-3 days in the future. you hurt now because you spent a whole week calculating this meeting and worst you didnt date during that week so all your eggs were put on this basket.

I fvcked 2 girls this week.

tip: set the meeting as soon as possible( next day after getting the number if possible). you cant let time go by these h03s are contantly getting hit on by betas..alphas..dush...jerks..aholes etc etc etc

I don't go out on weeknights because I usually don't have time between work, the gym and daily stuff to do.

She hit me up last weekend, gave me her number and wanted to set something up so I did. She even texted me to confirm yesterday that we were still on, and sounded like she was looking forward to it. I don't really think there was any way to prevent it, she's just a huge flake apparently.

 

[blueline]

Wasn't planning on burning a bridge, just making my intentions clear that I can't waste my time like that.

For future dates, do not plan them out or invest. If a girl misses a date that I try to setup, it's so far from being a situation where I'm angry with her or anything remotely like that. I'll ask her what happened if that's the first time she flaked like that and she seemed really interested in me before the date, but otherwise, I'll just let her contact me back.

What you want to do is get to a point where flaking seriously does not matter to you. Usually, unless I kiss the girl before the first date or the girl is giving me serious interest by other means, I anticipate her flaking on me.

Also, get better at closing your numbers. Don't bother getting her number if the girl is simply being friendly and there isn't a non-verbal sexual undercurrent to the interaction. You'll learn how to tell the difference with more experience.

 

[ENIGMA16]

For future dates, do not plan them out or invest. If a girl misses a date that I try to setup, it's so far from being a situation where I'm angry with her or anything remotely like that. I'll ask her what happened if that's the first time she flaked like that and she seemed really interested in me before the date, but otherwise, I'll just let her contact me back.

I think you're both misinterpreting what I'm saying. I'm not mad at her, I didn't invest a ton into this situation. I went to brunch anyways, I never depended on her for anything. I have a bunch of other girls I'm working on right now. So I'm not either mad at her or invested in this really.

I guess I'm just wondering if I should just drop her completely, and whenever I see her just be nice but aloof about everything and never really try to make plans with her again; or, if she contacts me again to set up plans, that I should just straight up tell her that I don't have time/energy to waste on flaky girls and try again.

Also, get better at closing your numbers. Don't bother getting her number if the girl is simply being friendly and there isn't a non-verbal sexual undercurrent to the interaction. You'll learn how to tell the difference with more experience.

This girl has been contacting me a lot without me saying anything, she offered her number to me. She texted me yesterday excitedly to confirm that we were still on for brunch. She has been showing blatant signs of interest towards me, I've only called her once. For background, I met her a few years ago when she was my friend's brother's boyfriend. I ran into her once since they broke up, she drunkenly told me that meeting me was the best thing that came out of her going out with him. I haven't really talked to her since then until she contacted me over Facebook and gave me her number.

 

[blueline]

Well, just move on, dude. Wait for her to contact you.

 

[scribblec]

I think you're both misinterpreting what I'm saying. I'm not mad at her, I didn't invest a ton into this situation. I went to brunch anyways, I never depended on her for anything. I have a bunch of other girls I'm working on right now. So I'm not either mad at her or invested in this really.

I guess I'm just wondering if I should just drop her completely, and whenever I see her just be nice but aloof about everything and never really try to make plans with her again; or, if she contacts me again to set up plans, that I should just straight up tell her that I don't have time/energy to waste on flaky girls and try again.



This girl has been contacting me a lot without me saying anything, she offered her number to me. She texted me yesterday excitedly to confirm that we were still on for brunch. She has been showing blatant signs of interest towards me, I've only called her once. For background, I met her a few years ago when she was my friend's brother's boyfriend. I ran into her once since they broke up, she drunkenly told me that meeting me was the best thing that came out of her going out with him. I haven't really talked to her since then until she contacted me over Facebook and gave me her number.

maybe thats the problem

 

[ENIGMA16]

How the hell is that a problem?

Edit: hahahahahahaha I just noticed it now awesome

 

[Lexington]

Yup, this one should be completely forgotten. Time is a valuable thing and she completely wasted yours. That is extremely disrespectful. Do not attempt to initiate contact with her.

If she does contact you again, make sure she's the one that asks you to go out. Give her a good ribbing about flaking on you. It shouldn't be too serious, but it should be serious enough that she knows it wasn't cool.

Chances are, if she flaked once, she'll flake again. So be prepared with another plan if she falls through. If she flakes twice, it should be bye bye forever.

 

[Lexington]

Incidentally, I thought I'd share a story that happened to me recently. I too had a flaky chick. The first time she just told me she felt really sick. OK, whatever. So I didn't contact her. But she calls me later and said how sorry she was. So we setup a second date.

Right before I was about to leave for the date, she flaked again, coming up with an absurd excuse. I deleted her number.

But a few days later, she texted me and absolutely promised she'd show up. So we set up the time and place. I told her to text me when she got there. She texted me saying, "I'm here."

I was half way across the country. She sent me a few more texts and made a few calls, but those were all ignored.

I hope she learned her lesson.

 

[Jeffst1980]

As to how to react, you have two choices: You can set her straight and call her out but likely kill any attraction she has for you in the process; or, act completely unfazed and possibly get another shot the next time you see her in person, as she realizes that you don't think she's all that special.

Both ways are valid-- personally, I'd opt for the second route because you aren't gaining much by lecturing some flaky chick before you've slept with her. It should be expected that her interest level will not be sky high right off the bat, so flaking will be a default behavior for some women. To remain calm in the face of this demonstrates not only deep understanding of female psychology, but also a degree of indifference that only men with options possess.

I find it's best NOT to confirm dates, or make sure it's still "on"--the more you do, the more likely she is to back out. Still, flaking is pretty much unavoidable, and if you aren't getting flaked on, you are probably not aiming as high as you should be.

 

[Alanswer]

You could tell her:

"Sorry, I wasn't able to make it last time... So damn busy. I tried to call you a couple times to tell you but you wouldn't answer... You were pissed of at me? Really sorry."

But you have to be a good liar to pull that one off and be credible.
And in the same move, just LJBF her.

"Anyway, I met another girl. Really cute/cool... If you want we can still meet some other time... but as friends. Is that cool with you?"

Really I stress the fact that you MUST seem completely natural and sincere.

But don't see her again unless she chases you like crazy after that. (10% chance of happening)

 

[f283000]

Incidentally, I thought I'd share a story that happened to me recently. I too had a flaky chick. The first time she just told me she felt really sick. OK, whatever. So I didn't contact her. But she calls me later and said how sorry she was. So we setup a second date.

Right before I was about to leave for the date, she flaked again, coming up with an absurd excuse. I deleted her number.

But a few days later, she texted me and absolutely promised she'd show up. So we set up the time and place. I told her to text me when she got there. She texted me saying, "I'm here."

I was half way across the country. She sent me a few more texts and made a few calls, but those were all ignored.

I hope she learned her lesson.

That is awesome! rep given. I bet she couldn't stop thinking about you after that.

Women, you treat them good and they spit in your face. You break their heart and they love you a long time.

 

[lifemisspent]

" I cant believe you didnt call me to cancel our plans if you couldnt make it, I had specifically put that day and time aside for you and had turned down other plans from other friend for that exact time. I treat you with respect and condieration, if you cant do the same in return then you are just wasting my time. "

Then hang up the phone before she has a chance to say anyting and NC her for one month.

 

[ENIGMA16]

" I cant believe you didnt call me to cancel our plans if you couldnt make it, I had specifically put that day and time aside for you and had turned down other plans from other friend for that exact time. I treat you with respect and condieration, if you cant do the same in return then you are just wasting my time. "

Then hang up the phone before she has a chance to say anyting and NC her for one month.

This is the worst idea ever.

I'll probably wait for her to contact me, if she does, and go from there. If she doesn't then I'm not gonna bother.

 

[ARrocket]

As to how to react, you have two choices: You can set her straight and call her out but likely kill any attraction she has for you in the process; or, act completely unfazed and possibly get another shot the next time you see her in person, as she realizes that you don't think she's all that special.

Both ways are valid-- personally, I'd opt for the second route because you aren't gaining much by lecturing some flaky chick before you've slept with her. It should be expected that her interest level will not be sky high right off the bat, so flaking will be a default behavior for some women. To remain calm in the face of this demonstrates not only deep understanding of female psychology, but also a degree of indifference that only men with options possess.

I find it's best NOT to confirm dates, or make sure it's still "on"--the more you do, the more likely she is to back out. Still, flaking is pretty much unavoidable, and if you aren't getting flaked on, you are probably not aiming as high as you should be.

Good post here.

Also, it was mentioned earlier that you shouldn't be making plans so far in advance. Yeah you fvcked two other girls and yeah you weren't invested in this at all and blah blah blah blah.

But, it was a mistake nonetheless, and changing that tactic up will help you out quite a bit.

Maybe she's bad news, maybe she isn't (probably is). Either way, you have to decide what you're intentions are. If she's as rude and inconsiderate as she seems, that doesn't mean you can't fvck her if you want! In which case you ignore the flake, and try again after awhile. This time, hit her up WHEN you're ready to see her, not a week beforehand!

 

[Veridin]

JLay87, seems I have been in the same situation. We all have, I guess. You seem to be taking it the right way - still always ticks me off when I see a woman who doesn't keep her promises, or a man for that matter.

Everyone can be lazy, procrastinate, do a sloppy job, have a change of mind, whatever. But one thing one should never do is break promises, messing up someone's plans that were dependent on you doing what you said you would do. I hate that. Makes me wish there was a Karma system in place, this would be a minus 10.

 

[Cyclops]

If they flake last minute like that, its usually not a good sign. If they come to you to apologives, let em know that its alright but frankly you should not be investing your time with her. They had a chance and they lost it. its her turn to make it up to you, if she does great if not you should be spinning those other plates anyways