Girl Flaked. Should I NEXT?

[VenX]

Been talking to this girl for 2 weeks through text and Facebook. She seemed to have high interest as our conversations would last around an hour. She did recently (a month ago?) get dumped by her boyfriend though.

Anyways, asked her out on a date on Wednesday. She seemed pretty down for it. Flirted more that night. Then I didn't contact her until Friday night to confirm time and location to meet on Saturday. She still seem interested.

Saturday morning comes and she tells me she's sick and can't make it out. Didn't reschedule. It's now been a few days and I haven't initiated any contact or heard from her.

Should I NEXT?

 

[Pave]

You can give her the benefit of the doubt but even a girl who's sick will still try to go out with you if she's that interested.

 

[The_411]

Been talking to this girl for 2 weeks through text and Facebook. She seemed to have high interest as our conversations would last around an hour. She did recently (a month ago?) get dumped by her boyfriend though.

Anyways, asked her out on a date on Wednesday. She seemed pretty down for it. Flirted more that night. Then I didn't contact her until Friday night to confirm time and location to meet on Saturday. She still seem interested.

Saturday morning comes and she tells me she's sick and can't make it out. Didn't reschedule. It's now been a few days and I haven't initiated any contact or heard from her.

Should I NEXT?

The bold and underlying part was your undoing. Why did you talk with her for an hour?

Build rapport in 10 minutes or less and always leave the conversation on a high note and/or cliffhanger status.

Your first date shouldn't even really last an hour.

She's not interested. If she was she would not have told you she was sick. Sure thre's the .1% chance that she was sick but are you really going to make things much harder on yourself by trying to get her to go out from an unsalvageable position. If so, kudos to you because that's some Neo Matrix level type **** there.

Chalk it up as a lesson learned and stahp having 1 hour conversations.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Why Are You Even Asking This?

What do you think you should do and state your reason as to why?

 

[nismo-4]

Yes you should.

A woman who is interested in you would make an effort to meet you. Anytime a girl flakes on you, you have failed. Delete this number and forget about her, she forgot about you and found a better man.

AFAIC, if a girl flakes once, she is out. Flaking means disrespect and low-no interest. We need to adopt a one-strike rule, considering how flaky b**ches are these days.

Case closed. Move on.

 

[VenX]

The bold and underlying part was your undoing. Why did you talk with her for an hour?

Build rapport in 10 minutes or less and always leave the conversation on a high note and/or cliffhanger status.

Your first date shouldn't even really last an hour.

She's not interested. If she was she would not have told you she was sick. Sure thre's the .1% chance that she was sick but are you really going to make things much harder on yourself by trying to get her to go out from an unsalvageable position. If so, kudos to you because that's some Neo Matrix level type **** there.

Chalk it up as a lesson learned and stahp having 1 hour conversations.

Thanks guys for your advice. I will just sit this one out and go NC.

I guess I shouldn't have talked to her for over 1 hour. But I felt like we were connecting and having a good time. Both times, I initiated the conversation.

For next time, should I stop the conversation short wait for her to initiate the next conversation?

 

[GotED?]

Thanks guys for your advice. I will just sit this one out and go NC.

I guess I shouldn't have talked to her for over 1 hour. But I felt like we were connecting and having a good time. Both times, I initiated the conversation.

For next time, should I stop the conversation short wait for her to initiate the next conversation?

Get used to it and REALLY comfortable with these bullsh!t let downs from women.

You COULD have played your game 100% right (and I am not saying you didn't because she appeared to retain high interest right up to the end).

However, there's a THOUSAND THINGS on her side that could have GONE WRONG (and out of your control) FOR YOU - such as, finding a better deal or she's on her emotionally hormonal high/low. I also know that most women are HIGHLY SELF-CONCSCIOUS at dating - so if she really was not feeling well, she WOULD NOT want to see you because she would look less than 100% perfect vanity wise.

These are OUT OF YOUR CONTROL - learn to accept it is just a numbers game in the end. Keep up the faith.

Exodus

 

[cordoncordon]

Make a pact with yourself to ask out 3 other girls before you talk to this one again.

 

[VladPatton]

Thanks guys for your advice. I will just sit this one out and go NC.

I guess I shouldn't have talked to her for over 1 hour. But I felt like we were connecting and having a good time. Both times, I initiated the conversation.

For next time, should I stop the conversation short wait for her to initiate the next conversation?

No, stop the conversation at a high point, make her want more, and ask for a date to continue face to face. Get her frothy and pull the trigger. Plus, it makes you appear busy and unattainable.

 

[VenX]

No, stop the conversation at a high point, make her want more, and ask for a date to continue face to face. Get her frothy and pull the trigger. Plus, it makes you appear busy and unattainable.

Will definitely try that next time. Thanks!

 

[pyros]

For me, the logic goes something like this:
if she flakes AND does not contact you anymore {
you send her to hell
}
else {
you suggest another date
}

P.S.
I had girls that flaked on the first date BUT kept texting me so after some days I suggested to meet again and it went well. However, everytime a girl flaked on me, I went no contact, and she never texted me again it meant she was NOT INTERESTED.

Regards.

 

[Cremasta]

So you organise a date and for whatever reason, it doesn't happen.

You didn't reschedule
She didn't reschedule

You haven't tried to call
She hasn't tried to call

Maybe she was actually sick
Maybe she was just finding an excuse not to see you.

How much effort does it take to press a few buttons and find out? If she says no, then what have you lost?

 

[GS750]

Wait a few days and try one last time. If you get anything other than a yes then drop it. But be sure to wait at least a few days. Also, guys are right about getting off the phone early. I've fvcked up interactions with girls by staying on the phone too long, sooner or later you're going to say something that rubs her the wrong way. Save the convo for face to face. I learned that one the hard way.

 

[bukowski_merit]

With a girl you've never met in person - no matter how cool you are or how attracted she is to your pictures - you're always going to be lower than real life people.... Planning a date on Wednesday for a Saturday (where most people do stuff) - is not a great idea for people you haven't banged yet (Yet alone met.) All it takes is someone higher on the totem pole (and you're at the bottom) to want to hang out with her that day as well (male or female.)

That's not to say I don't occasionally do Saturday dates - I'm just noting the higher probablity of a flake.

You're just an internet guy to her. An internet guy who's already given her 14 hours of attention (roughly).



Kill the talking for 1 hour a day too! I guarentee you can't maintain interesting conversations for that long.




If she re-engages - ignore the desire to talk to her for hours. Simply pitch another meet (not for a weekend) and if she declines or flakes again - simply ignore her and move on.

 

[The_411]

Thanks guys for your advice. I will just sit this one out and go NC.

I guess I shouldn't have talked to her for over 1 hour. But I felt like we were connecting and having a good time. Both times, I initiated the conversation.

For next time, should I stop the conversation short wait for her to initiate the next conversation?

Ideally you want her to feel like she needs/wants to call you. That's what the cliffhanger leaving on a high note does. It creates desire/obsession.

Long conversation is great, but women have girlfriends for that. It doesn't mean you can't converse but understand that to succeed you need to be constantly escalating and talking for an hour does not escalate plus it takes away some of the mystery.

 

[emilywollsq]

Why don't you try to contact her? Maybe she's just waiting for you to do the first move?






steve barbarich

 

[Amilz]

Been talking to this girl for 2 weeks through text and Facebook. She seemed to have high interest as our conversations would last around an hour. She did recently (a month ago?) get dumped by her boyfriend though.

Anyways, asked her out on a date on Wednesday. She seemed pretty down for it. Flirted more that night. Then I didn't contact her until Friday night to confirm time and location to meet on Saturday. She still seem interested.

Saturday morning comes and she tells me she's sick and can't make it out. Didn't reschedule. It's now been a few days and I haven't initiated any contact or heard from her.

Should I NEXT?

So you've never met her in person? Pass. She's not interested if she didn't reschedule.

 

[LeonSK]

Give it another shot before NEXT.

 

[chath]

Listen to actions, not words. You'll have a girl talk to you or lead you on forever when there's no way in hell she will ever meet you anywhere. It's sad but true.

Maybe should have talked less and invited her to lunch or something with some friends a lot sooner. The guys I know that pull the most talk the least in text/facebook.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Please Explain Your Rationale

Give it another shot before NEXT.

Why should he ask her out again, considering that more than likely her response will be the same?

Doesn't ignoring her flaky behavior condoning her insolent and dismissive attitude towards him?

Doesn't ignoring her flaky behavior implies that he's willing to accept even more disrespectful and rude behavior later on down the rode.

By asking her out again, (after she's clearly expressed no interest,) implies that he's a beta male without any other options.

If by asking her out again, isn't that a reflection on dude feels about himself. That in the pursuit of poon, that he thinks so little of himself that he belittle himself to the point where he's chasing after women who clearly don't want him?