Girl dumped me. Not too happy.

[Jack Hensy]

I met this girl on POF. I went on 3 dates with her. We had unprotected sex back her place on 3rd date. The next day my **** was burning after urination. I was worried I had an STD.
Connection was strong. Attraction was high. The problem was she did a 180 on me and dumped me a week later.
A little about her: She was separated from her husband. He cheated on her twice with two different girls and he didn't want to have sex with her anymore. The marriage was over. Anyway, things were going well between us--besides this STD.
I couldn't text her much due to my job so that bothered her. Then one day she asked why I haven't texted her lately? I said a sibling was in hospital. She expressed sympathy. Then asked if I wanted to get together again? I said yes after Thanksgiving would be good. We flirted like crazy through texts. We were both excited to see each other again. Then the next day she is gone all Saturday and Saturday evening. Two days later she dumps me through text...

Sara: Hey there how is your family member in the hospital doing?
Jack Hey Sara, she is well thanks. How are you?
Sara: Hope you had a good holiday!
Sara: I want to tell you I didn't know where things were going with us so I met someone else and have a deeper connection with this other guy on so many levels. So we decided to be exclusive. You never asked me to be exclusive and I never asked you. Wish you the best.
Jack: What??
Jack: How could you do this to me?
Sara: Is that a surprised or an angry response?
Sara: haven't you been talking to other girls on POF and busy?
Jack: lol...hey I am just messing with you. ok have fun
Sara: Whew! You had me worried.
Jack: Yea I had amazing sex Saturday night and had few dates since you
Sara: I can believe you had a few dates, but why tell me you had amazing sex?
Jack: Just adding some humor. Besides, you are still married with kids. We didn't have a connection just a fling. See ya.
Sara: You are an ******* and I can still see why you are single!
I deleted her number.
8 hours later texted her back..."Who is this?
Then I sent her an email saying.....GET TESTED. Since I had sex with you without a condom my **** has been burning when I urinate. I made an appointment to get an STD test. Whoever you were sticking it to before you met me you must have given it to me and your spreading germs to everyone else.
You to get tested.
I am pissed off!

Sarah: I dont care if you are pissed off...I am clean and have been tested. You are an ******* and dont contact me again!

Anyway I got an STD test and I was negative. I wish I would have handled the dumping a little better but showed her I didn't care either. Her character was what upset me. How can a girl do a 180 when attraction and connection is high?...Yet lies to me and goes behind my back to message other guys and connects with someone that fast. I was furious. She had said after one date that I was hot and cold with her and it made her mad that I didn't kiss her on first date. She couldn't read me and I confused her. Nor did I text her much. I was being somewhat aloof and not needy. I am shocked when she dumped me. She is a *****. I got played. Any ideas why girls pull this BS on guys? They lie so much and cheat on you when you think everything is fine.

 

[dustmuffin]

You were not exclusive. You shouldn't worry who she ****s. Always wear a raincoat. When she sent you the text you could have ignored it or replied with a simple OK. I would do the first. You were not in a relationship. It was a screwed up deal anyway. Delete all platforms of communication and move on. Do not contact someone about an std until you are positive. Then a simple. Hey i tested positive for xyz might get yourself checked. Lose the emotion.

 

[Berom]

She seems self-centered, slutty, and a little unstable.

 

[dustmuffin]

She seems self-centered, slutty, and a little unstable.

Take that into account if you are looking for an ltr. But until then don't invest emotionally **** them and if it doesn't work out. Leave with a smile on your face. All women have issues. Purge her from your mind and move on. You get this upset over a woman you dated a few weeks? Wth? Read the DJ bible and work on your mindset. Turn your give a s hiiter off!

 

[Jack Hensy]

I can lose the emotion. I have done it before and have shown no emotion under trying circumstances when dealing with women. Losing emotion does work in your favor.
However, this time I wanted to be real with myself so I could get closure and move on.
I hate saying something fake just to save face and appear confident and in control. Deep down inside I would be still simmering with anger if just said OK. Now that I expressed my emotions I feel so much better and let her know how I felt. I knew that I would lose her anyway so its no lost.

Some would say if you are rejected to....."Keep your cool, don't show anger, be aloof, say OK or ignore her because that will piss her off more, you are in control, and you will get the upper hand."
Yea if you like playing games and want to seek a therapist later on down the road that stuff works. I don't like to bottle up my real emotions. Sometimes in my dealings I let people how I really feel and I feel happier and less bottled up because of it. Then I walk away.

I like to keep things real and honest. Its for closure purposes. Sometimes I will use the "cool approach" if it warrants it.
Remember that scene in Wall Street when Charlie Sheen throws a fit and shatters a glass against the wall because his girlfriend is leaving him. He yells at her if you walk out that door don't come back!! I identify with his rage.

Just my 2 cents. But otherwise good information.

 

[Tictac]

Bridge burned. Move along.

'Closure' is for TV shows.

 

[dustmuffin]

I can lose the emotion. I have done it before and have shown no emotion under trying circumstances when dealing with women. Losing emotion does work in your favor.
However, this time I wanted to be real with myself so I could get closure and move on.
I hate saying something fake just to save face and appear confident and in control. Deep down inside I would be still simmering with anger if just said OK. Now that I expressed my emotions I feel so much better and let her know how I felt. I knew that I would lose her anyway so its no lost.

Some would say if you are rejected to....."Keep your cool, don't show anger, be aloof, say OK or ignore her because that will piss her off more, you are in control, and you will get the upper hand."
Yea if you like playing games and want to seek a therapist later on down the road that stuff works. I don't like to bottle up my real emotions. Sometimes in my dealings I let people how I really feel and I feel happier and less bottled up because of it. Then I walk away.

I like to keep things real and honest. Its for closure purposes. Sometimes I will use the "cool approach" if it warrants it.
Remember that scene in Wall Street when Charlie Sheen throws a fit and shatters a glass against the wall because his girlfriend is leaving him. He yells at her if you walk out that door don't come back!! I identify with his rage.

Just my 2 cents. But otherwise good information.

Charley sheen is a celebrity with money. He can get any woman an do what he wants. You dated for two weeks. Show calmness in public emotion in private.

 

[Jack Hensy]

Lack of closure is for guys like Ted Bundy or Timothy McVeigh. Keeping cool on the outside and exploding on the inside.

 

[Desdinova]

'Closure' is for TV shows.

"Closure" is for women who are uncertain if they've made the right choice.

 

[dustmuffin]

Lack of closure is for guys like Ted Bundy or Timothy McVeigh. Keeping cool on the outside and exploding on the inside.

Look we are trying to help. If you don't want it fine. All we are saying is if you are upset
Yell and scream alone. Learn from it. And I say again you dated 2 weeks!

 

[Tictac]

Lack of closure is for guys like Ted Bundy or Timothy McVeigh. Keeping cool on the outside and exploding on the inside.

You going to go postal over a slit?

Not for nothin', you accused her of having nasty plumbing. What did you think she was going to do? Say thanks?

Wow!

 

[Jack Hensy]

Why would I be going postal? I said Ted Bundy or Timothy McVeigh.

 

[Tictac]

Why would I be going to postal? I said Ted Bundy or Timothy McVeigh.

Ya - a serial killer and a mass murderer, nice choices of psychopaths.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Sounds like about every girl I've met online and at the bar. They're only into you the night and moment they were into you. The next they're swinging on a new d!ck and forgot all about you.

 

[logicallefty]

HAHA OP your text convo was great. I like the humor and your attitude.

Anyway I got an STD test and I was negative. I wish I would have handled the dumping a little better but showed her I didn't care either. Her character was what upset me. How can a girl do a 180 when attraction and connection is high?...Yet lies to me and goes behind my back to message other guys and connects with someone that fast. I was furious. She had said after one date that I was hot and cold with her and it made her mad that I didn't kiss her on first date. She couldn't read me and I confused her. Nor did I text her much. I was being somewhat aloof and not needy. I am shocked when she dumped me. She is a *****. I got played. Any ideas why girls pull this BS on guys? They lie so much and cheat on you when you think everything is fine.

As for this^^^^ part of your message, she didn't do the full 180 on you at once when she ended it with you.. She had already done some of it beforehand. She was talking to other guys because her IL in you wasn't completely solid as it needed to be... It was likely good, but not great... So she kept looking for something better than good and found it. And she is using the excuse that you didn't text her much/enough to justify her actions of finding another guy so she can put the total blame onto you.. Tell all her girlfriends how evil you are and all that and blame you for everything... Why do girls pull this BS on guys, you ask? Because it's their nature. It's programmed deep within them, just like the bear is programmed to hunt salmon and the sun is programmed to rise in the morning and set in the evening... I think it's time for you to move on. Do not contact her again. She seems like the kind who might start accusing you of stalking, harassment, etc. if you do contact her so do not no matter what.. Block her if you can...

 

[Jack Hensy]

.Hi logicallefty that was a good post and you were spot on. You are correct she was doing this beforehand.
What was ironic was that she kept complimenting me over and over and telling me how hot I was and how much she wanted to get to know me. I thought her IL was high.
We talked sex the entire three dates and I didn't kiss her on the first date because I thought she was being a tease. She got mad at me and wanted to know why I didn't kiss her.(the challenge). The second date lots of touching, kissing and compliments. But she said she couldn't read me since I was hot an cold. Not texting her a lot etc. The 3rd date I went to her house for drinks and sex. We had a great time watching the football game, eating, laughing. She was all over me and was a freak. (Porn star freak)
She would have been a fun chick to bang for a few months so I was disappointed she found another guy to get her freak on with..lol.
She wasn't perfect since she was an online slightly chubby chick, pretty face----but a good fvck.
My problem is I am always passed over by girls. Maybe its POF. They will date me for a while until someone better comes along. Does this happen to most guys? It's a self esteem killer and I spin plates all the time. The girls I pull are 7's. Rarely 8's.
I am 6ft, attractive, hold my own "ok" in a bar or online. Most girls say I am cute and I have been with a lot girls sexually--not much relationship-wise because they seem to swing like monkeys from one vine to the next. I just accept that each time I have sex with a girl it will be my last since she will eventually move on. It sux.
How do I hold the trump card so I don't lose women all the time? It's kind of annoying.

 

[channingtatum]

I guess I'll be the one to say it, but you acted like a butthurt 16 yr old girl. You should have accepted she found someone who she had a better connection with/gave better **** and said "see ya later". Everything you said was pretty childish IMO because your ego was hurt.

 

[logicallefty]

OP your issue about loosing women all the time takes practice. There are a boat load of things you have to learn at each step of the way in the dating/women/courtship process, from the first time you talk to a woman all the way to the first date. To the kiss close to the first time you have sex to the 3rd time you have sex to the LTR, etc, etc. The typical issue at the stage where I think I understand that you are (you have a few dates and sex once or so then loose them) is when we guys spill their guts too much to the woman at this stage and also let the guard/frame down. Not sure if that's your issue but sounds like it could be.. You have sex and things seem great. So a guy starts thinking "She had sex with me, she must really be into me, so I don't need to hold the frame I had that attracted her to begin with.. I can start being more open and honest with her, tell her how much I care about her, ask her to be my GF, etc.. I can call/text her as much as I want because she had sex and must like me so why wouldn't she want to talk to me more?".. Is that you??

Bottom line, stay the course here on SS and you will learn lots of things to improve your overall experiences with women and eventually you will no longer have problems with loosing women after a short time. Do you know why they call law and medicine a "practice"? Because you are constantly trying new things in new ways with new elements and tools than have been done before.. You are discovering things others have not yet discovered.. Dating/women/courtship is no different than law and medicine. And consider this site one of the good "law" schools for dating/women, etc.. We are all practicing and learning, and have different levels of skill. Stay with us, practice what we say, and good thing will happen for you.

 

[Romjuan]

I can lose the emotion. I have done it before and have shown no emotion under trying circumstances when dealing with women. Losing emotion does work in your favor.
However, this time I wanted to be real with myself so I could get closure and move on.
I hate saying something fake just to save face and appear confident and in control. Deep down inside I would be still simmering with anger if just said OK. Now that I expressed my emotions I feel so much better and let her know how I felt. I knew that I would lose her anyway so its no lost.

Some would say if you are rejected to....."Keep your cool, don't show anger, be aloof, say OK or ignore her because that will piss her off more, you are in control, and you will get the upper hand."
Yea if you like playing games and want to seek a therapist later on down the road that stuff works. I don't like to bottle up my real emotions. Sometimes in my dealings I let people how I really feel and I feel happier and less bottled up because of it. Then I walk away.

I like to keep things real and honest. Its for closure purposes. Sometimes I will use the "cool approach" if it warrants it.
Remember that scene in Wall Street when Charlie Sheen throws a fit and shatters a glass against the wall because his girlfriend is leaving him. He yells at her if you walk out that door don't come back!! I identify with his rage.

Just my 2 cents. But otherwise good information.

Look, if youre going to "wear your heart on your sleeve" and want to appear whiny and complain to her why it didnt work out then you have to accept your reality of how you will look to her. A lot of us on here will say during breakups, fake it till you make it. Do the whole "you want to break up, cool, i full agree. It wasnt going to work out, I wish you the best." Vs your response of "Im having sex with other girls and you have an std". you sound bitter and childish. Reassures her decision to drop you. If thats the route you want to go because you "hate being fake" then accept that shes going to look at you like your the bitter child.

I agree with everything she responded with. If you guys werent exclusive she has 100% right to bang who ever she wants, just like you do too.

 

[esev8]

Romjuan nailed it!
I agree with him
And I think she was nice enough to text you and all, most girls i know are quite mean and wouldn´t reply at all! anyways you don´t need a reason she is already gone...
get your shiit together and move on to the next one on pof it should be fine