girl doesnt wanna talk about her past

[pyros]

Hi,


what would you think about a girl that does not want to talk about her past relationships?

I just met this chick who may be a 7.5, 28 years old, and she says that she got bad luck, got some love-hate relationships with many lies, and she does not want to give me any details. She says that we should not focus on the past...(yeah, sure...)

Would you trust her?
I have a bad feeling. I said to her that past counts and that only with full honesty a relationship can flow nice, but it seems she is to willing to.

Thoughts?

 

[Kailex]

Danger's got it right.

Don't talk about her past. Who cares?
Listen, I've been spinning a main plate since March and I've NEVER asked her about her past. I could sense a strong disturbance in her relationship Force within the last 6 months... I leave that ****e alone and I keep going out with her and enjoying her. Guess what, those details slowly come out on their own and I collect all that data slowly... and I analyze.

Asking a woman about her past/past relationships is a one way ticket to the FZ.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Depends.. Like danger said if you just wanna bang her then no point..

But a relationship with this type of girl is a bad idea.

We're a condom though it sounds like she probably has std's.

 

[Purefilth]

Why would you ask her? You will never get the truth. Stop asking girls about their past, it gets you nothing and only turns them off.


Just fvk her and keep fvking her. Don't bother committing, especially if she has had a sordid past.

QFT

 

[pyros]

but lets say you would like to have a serious relationship with her.
I think it is mandatory that you know about her past, because depending on it, you may change your mind about the girl.

Its like buying a second hand car, if you do not know its past use, you may get unpleasant surprises in the future, dont you think?

Besides, I have not screened some girls past before, I got burnt later on, so this is why I do not want to do the same mistake.

 

[The Duke]

People are unable to talk about their past because their is too much pain there. For whatever reason they haven't gotten over it so they continue to suppress it because they aren't strong enough to deal with it. I wouldn't have a relationship with this type of person.

 

[Tictac]

How long have you been seeing this woman?

Give it time, keep it light.

 

[5string]

In the legal community, it's known to not ask a question unless you know the answer beforehand.

Why do you want to know about her past? As Danger said, you'll never get the truth regardless.

All that matters is how she treats you now. Is she faithful? Does she treat you with respect, etc?

Never ask about her past. If she asked you, would you tell the truth? Doubtful.

 

[pyros]

it seems you haven got burnt because of a girl hidding her past actions.

I have been seing this girl for 3 months now, so if she wants to keep her past for herself, Ill break it off with her. Its simple.

Besides, only ppl who have done negative actions hide their past. Nobody hides that he won the lotery you know? or that she got just As in highschool. If you dont want to talk about something you did with he person you pretend to have a relationship, there is no trust, hence no healthy relationship.

Yes, I would be sincere about my past cause I do not have any sordid action, neither I am ashamed of anything, and even if I was, I would be honest if she asks. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship, and then love, etc.

P.S.
For the ones that would not ask about a girl's past, I do not think you'd like to know that your now girlfriend of two years played with cocaine at some point of her life, or that she had an abortion that you did not know about. Huh?

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

Pyros you'r reading too much into the past stuff. It's the past for a reason. Just because you're not ashamed to tell her about any bad things doesn't mean she's ready to do the same. You've only been seeing her for 3 months, so how do you know she's on that level with you where she's comfortable telling you about that these things, it takes time to divulge things like that to people. If I was the girl, I certainly wouldn't tell you I tried cocaine or had an abortion after only 3 months. 3 months isn't long enough to be considered a serious relationship, so why talk about all these serious things.

What if this girl did have an abortion because she was raped? If she just told you the abortion part you'd probably leave her, but then add in the rape and you feel like an ******* for making her relive these things because you HAVE to know about her past.

Trust is paramount, so why can't you trust her when she says she's not ready to discuss her past because it hurts her to do so? Relax, it's only been 3 months, she'll tell you about her past when she is ready to do so.

 

[corrector]

If a woman is not upfront about her past then it means that she's hiding something. Ask her if she's on meds (i.e. taking anti-depressants) or is seeing a shrink and see if that is also tied to her past.

 

[pyros]

she is asking for a relationship.

But as Danger said, she not willing to answer is indeed the answer, her past just sucks for whatever she did.

MrNiceGuy23, three months and she willing to have a relationship is more than enough to discuss any negative baggage she has, or any bad decisions she made; it is not the other way around. You do not get into a serious relationship, and once you're together for one year (or whenever she feels like it), then she tells you unpleasant stuff. If it was this way it would be just blackmail: once you have strong feelings then she tells you the awful truth and you have to swallow it, right? no way. Happened before.

 

[5string]

I don't get it apparently.

Past is the past and one cannot change it. I have always said that women reveal their past in small incements without asking. They just do. They can't STFU.

Honestly, Mrs.5string has revealed some things about herself that I just did not want to know but the thing is, she has been honest, faithful and treats me with respect and has done so since we met. Sure, it has banged around in my head, but what matters is today and from this point forward. I have done some stuff that I am not proud of. Would I reveal these things to anyone? No. Women are different. They might tell you a thing or two but you will never get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

 

[pyros]

So funy 5String. Ill give you an example of a 'friend' of mine:

she met a girl, they started dating and now they have been together for a year or so.
BUT, the thing is this girl has not been honest at all with him. She told him that she had two serious boyfriends and that she broke up with the two of them. She also said that she had sex with five guys.

Well, the thing is, she had sex with 10 or more guys, these two boyfriends one of them dumped her becuase he caught her cheating on him. The other boyfriend was just a puppet for her; she dumped him around 5 times in two years while she had sex with two or three guys with whom she wanted to havbe a relationship but since it did not work out, she came back to her boyfriend. Of course she hid all of this to the boyfriend.

Then on her fourth attempt to find a new boyfriend, she found my 'friend', and then dumped her previous boyfriend one more time. (6th time, and of course she did not tell him that she found another guy, at last)

So what is the conclusion? that this girl is trash. She is a liar, she is manipulative, evil, selfish, etc etc, but my friend has no idea about it because SHE JUST HID HER PAST to him, and created a new version of it, in which she is an angel that got bad luck. Do you get my point?

Since this friend of mine has no idea about her past he just thinks she's a nice girl, but she is not, and he will get really burn because of her in the future, thats for sure. This is WHY PPL HIDE THEIR PAST (negative past).

Just google 'girlfriend/b oyfriend/husband...' lied to me about the past'. It is full of stories of ppl finding out about their spouses past, and then BOOM, big problem you have. All this just because ppl are too naive.

 

[The Duke]

ahh but a wise man once said the past is the window to the future.

 

[casaanova]

What's there to guess? You already know what it is, when a girl in her late 20's starts talking about her "bad past". Either you want it or you don't