"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Girl doesn't return your calls: Call her out or just move on?

baurman

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#1 rule is that if you call a girl/she doesn't answer/ leave a message and she doesn't return your calls SHE IS NOT INTERESTED! Move on! Think about it... If she was interested in you she would return your call.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Ok kid - girls at 26 do not want a man of 22 - besides the maturity and security issue, they fear that you'll eventually leave them for a younger woman!!!
 

Serialized3

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DJMaC23 said:
you guys speak the truth...so just leave it be don't respond right? that does sound like the right thing
If it were me, I would actually send her a short email saying that you appreciate her honesty and wish her the best. She took the time out to explain herself to you, and not just leave you hanging. You should be a mature man about it and acknowlege that she took some responsibility between what happened to you.

Be a DJ - be classy. :up:
 
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Serialized3 said:
If it were me, I would actually send her a short email saying that you appreciate her honesty and wish her the best.
Yes, Serialized verbalized it well - no more than a one sentence response!!
 

Serialized3

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I actually think she's being honest with you man. She seems to have a lot on her plate and the last thing she needs to be worrying about is dating some guy. She has a medical condition where she needs pain pills, she's going to night school (presumably she's working during the day), so she's freaking out about her own issues and also freaked out about her brother who's obviously very, very sick. I kind of know the type. She's gotta take care of her own issues before she can worry about someone elses.

If that was your life, dating some girl you just met would probably be one of your lowest priorities.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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st_99

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Well, the fact that he's younger does change things a bit.

BUT, you still have to bottom line the situation.

SHE DOESN'T LIKE HIM ENOUGH. (for whatever reason)
 
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