"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Girl does a 180 for good...should I be on guard?

Mr. Goods

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-At work (big company, a lot of entry-level people close in age), a girl erupts on me for no good reason in front of my friend and a cute HB9. I had met this girl (the angry one) briefly once before, I knew her favorite college sports team. They lost to a heavy favorite the day prior, I genuinely said her team still played a very good game. I was trying to put a positive spin on it. This prompted the eruption.

-I did not let this event disrupt my actions. I won't stoop down to her level and won't hold a grudge for it. Despite her snobbery directed solely at me (she was Ms. Social Butterfly to everyone else around), I remained my pleasant self. If I crossed paths with her, I said hi, as I would to anyone else. No grudges at work. My friend, who has been around her more, recently told me that he feels this girl is a little too focused on social connections and it masks (to the other entry-level people) her occasional incompetence at the actual work (we are all in a 6-month trail period).

-Fast forward to now - over a month later. After not seeing a lot of entry-level people for a month because of my monthly shift, I learned I would be crossing paths with this girl a few times each week during my new shift; when I end, she begins, and we actually work together for a couple of minutes because my supervisor wants me to go over any tricky parts of the task with her. Perfect. :rolleyes:

-A couple of days into this shift, I notice that this girl is being...really nice? What gives? :confused: Out of nowhere, she's "happy to see me," is asking what I have going on the rest of day, says, "{I'm} the man," initiates kino w/ a fist bump when I'm leaving, gives a compliment sometimes, and fills me in on her happenings even though I don't ask for them." As you can see, this change of events leaves me really confused. :confused:

So, what explains the change? It's nice that I get along with everyone I work with, but the 180-degree change in this case might be a little "quick." I can't help but think there is an ulterior motive here.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Alle_Gory

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Chicks do it all the time to play the field. Either that or she's BPD/Bipolar. Either way, be on your guard when someone flips a strategy so quickly. Something is up.
 

mahoney

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No evidence here to suggest she is into you. doesn't mean she isnt either but this is very little information for us to go on. she could have blown up at you before for any number of reasons not actually to do with you. someone may have seen her blow up at you before and say 'thats really not appropriate at work" and she realized her bad behavior.

Also people aren't consistent with their behaviour. 9 times out of 10 you don't really notice it, but when you are attracted to the girl, you tend to notice it rather more.

Another common mistake is that dudes assume that girls behavior is always changing but that their own behaviour is consistent. This is a pretty big assumption and even if true, doesn't mean the girl sees it that way.
 

Mr. Goods

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Alle_Gory said:
Chicks do it all the time to play the field. Either that or she's BPD/Bipolar. Either way, be on your guard when someone flips a strategy so quickly. Something is up.
I bolded the end of your post. My instinct agrees with you. Something here doesn't seem natural. Again, it's great that I get along with people at work, but the turnaround here was really quick. She basically walked right into the room like we were bff's. Now, when you say, "Chicks do it to play the field," what do you mean exactly? I don't see her as bi-polar, but I could see her trying to play games with people if she had to. Her problem...my instincts and perceptiveness are top notch :up: (One of my bosses recently told me I have "Terrific awareness of everything around me and my instincts are usually right." While he was referring to actual work, those intangibles might be working here too).


mahoney said:
No evidence here to suggest she is into you. doesn't mean she isnt either but this is very little information for us to go on. she could have blown up at you before for any number of reasons not actually to do with you. someone may have seen her blow up at you before and say 'thats really not appropriate at work" and she realized her bad behavior.

Also people aren't consistent with their behaviour. 9 times out of 10 you don't really notice it, but when you are attracted to the girl, you tend to notice it rather more.

Another common mistake is that dudes assume that girls behavior is always changing but that their own behaviour is consistent. This is a pretty big assumption and even if true, doesn't mean the girl sees it that way.
Never said she was into me. Heck, I'm not even into her. :crackup: She is fairly attractive (HB7?), but something doesn't fully fit here. Whatever that is keeps me from even being attracted to her. Her actions don't seem natural. Maybe one of our supervisors did say something, though I don't think it caused that much of a scene. However, when HB9 chick said she found the whole sequence funny, one of my supervisors came over and joked about it, saying "I'm not surprised, Mr. Goods is a real wise guy." As for thinking her attitude change...uh, it did mahoney. Quite obvious too. I'm not delusional.
 

Mr. Goods

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I was just seeing if anyone else had any thoughts.

An update of sorts: This week is more of the same. One day, she was asking/teasing about a business portfolio I always carry with me around work. Another day, she randomly began describing how she dims the lights or loosens the chair (so it can lean back a little) while she's at her station.

I'm not insinuating these are come-on's at all. The notion that I've been "into her", as one posted said, is wrong. The question I had stems from her sudden turnaround. Maybe the first time we met it was at a bad time, but its still something I notice.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Echoes

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Maybe once she realized that she would be seeing you/working with you regularly she decided to do the grown up thing and make the best of the situation. She may also be embarrassed about her freak out and is trying to make amends.

Or maybe she's crazy.
 

Mr. Goods

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Echoes said:
Maybe once she realized that she would be seeing you/working with you regularly she decided to do the grown up thing and make the best of the situation. She may also be embarrassed about her freak out and is trying to make amends.

Or maybe she's crazy.
All are possible. :yes:

We only see each other for about 5-10 minutes each day, but like you said, it would be in her best interest to be in good spirits. Maybe the "embarrassing" incident scared her straight. I have no idea if a supervisor saw this and said some words (probably not), but perhaps she realized afterwards that antagonizing a co-worker who is on the path to success isn't the best idea. She also could be crazy...though not bi-polar.
 

IamJosan

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Mr. Goods said:
-At work (big company, a lot of entry-level people close in age), a girl erupts on me for no good reason in front of my friend and a cute HB9. I had met this girl (the angry one) briefly once before, I knew her favorite college sports team. They lost to a heavy favorite the day prior, I genuinely said her team still played a very good game. I was trying to put a positive spin on it. This prompted the eruption.

-I did not let this event disrupt my actions. I won't stoop down to her level and won't hold a grudge for it. Despite her snobbery directed solely at me (she was Ms. Social Butterfly to everyone else around), I remained my pleasant self. If I crossed paths with her, I said hi, as I would to anyone else. No grudges at work. My friend, who has been around her more, recently told me that he feels this girl is a little too focused on social connections and it masks (to the other entry-level people) her occasional incompetence at the actual work (we are all in a 6-month trail period).

-Fast forward to now - over a month later. After not seeing a lot of entry-level people for a month because of my monthly shift, I learned I would be crossing paths with this girl a few times each week during my new shift; when I end, she begins, and we actually work together for a couple of minutes because my supervisor wants me to go over any tricky parts of the task with her. Perfect. :rolleyes:

-A couple of days into this shift, I notice that this girl is being...really nice? What gives? :confused: Out of nowhere, she's "happy to see me," is asking what I have going on the rest of day, says, "{I'm} the man," initiates kino w/ a fist bump when I'm leaving, gives a compliment sometimes, and fills me in on her happenings even though I don't ask for them." As you can see, this change of events leaves me really confused. :confused:

So, what explains the change? It's nice that I get along with everyone I work with, but the 180-degree change in this case might be a little "quick." I can't help but think there is an ulterior motive here.
You said so yourself, she's being Ms. Social Butterfly to mask her incompetence at work. Why would she stay mad at you if it could jepoardize her job?
 
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