Girl demanded to see all e-mails and texts

[wait_out]

Miles, whenever you notice yourself getting emotional, it's a good time to take a break from communicating and give yourself some time to think stuff through. That way you'll avoid outbursts and sending messages you'll regret.

Why don't you level with her: apologize for only what's actually your fault, tell her *nicely* to seek help from an outside source, and say you're moving on with your life and she should consider doing the same.

Stay away from her boyfriend.

If this doesn't work, you'll probably be making a new crazy behaviour thread, and all the guys who've been with a personality-disordered woman will jump in to save you. Either way you have to be coldly rational about this -- both your heart and your penis are going to get you into trouble, and you have to stop listening to them. GL my man.

 

[Miles28]

I think all that needs to be said has been said, both on this thread and by me to her.

I regret the vitriol but I'm just going to leave it. I have no doubt whatsoever that in this girl's mind she thinks that she is unimpeachable. She will think that she gave me this magical chance to be with her, I didn't take it and so the whole thing is totally my fault.

The above scares me. I am coming to realise the hard way that women can rationalise pretty much anyhing and there is no way to make some of them seem sense. i don't want this to descend into misogyny as I'm sure there are many good women out there (I hope) who have the ability to think logically, but clearly there are many who don't. On the night this happened I tried to explain very calmly and clearly to this girl why people are entitled to their own private space and why that should be respected by all and sundry. It just didn't compute, there was no getting through to her.

I'm glad I'm rid of this plate. The horrible thing is that before her I was involved with another girl who, in my opinion, had a personality disorder which only manifested itself some weeks after getting together. In the wake of that this girl seemed to be the very antidote for that travesty of a relationship. I thought she was cool, reasonable, respectful and not prone to any clinically insane behaviour. Boy was I wrong.

You live and learn. Thank you guys, really. The time and effort you have spent posting has not been in vain. It has made it much easier for me to just move on and forget about this wacko. I only wish I had posted here before unleashing my anger on her.

 

[jophil28]

I have no doubt whatsoever that in this girl's mind she thinks that she is unimpeachable. She will think that she gave me this magical chance to be with her, I didn't take it and so the whole thing is totally my fault.
.

That is probably an accurate comment on her narcissism.

 

[catman]

I think all that needs to be said has been said, both on this thread and by me to her.

I regret the vitriol but I'm just going to leave it. I have no doubt whatsoever that in this girl's mind she thinks that she is unimpeachable. She will think that she gave me this magical chance to be with her, I didn't take it and so the whole thing is totally my fault.

The above scares me. I am coming to realise the hard way that women can rationalise pretty much anyhing and there is no way to make some of them seem sense. i don't want this to descend into misogyny as I'm sure there are many good women out there (I hope) who have the ability to think logically, but clearly there are many who don't. On the night this happened I tried to explain very calmly and clearly to this girl why people are entitled to their own private space and why that should be respected by all and sundry. It just didn't compute, there was no getting through to her.

I'm glad I'm rid of this plate. The horrible thing is that before her I was involved with another girl who, in my opinion, had a personality disorder which only manifested itself some weeks after getting together. In the wake of that this girl seemed to be the very antidote for that travesty of a relationship. I thought she was cool, reasonable, respectful and not prone to any clinically insane behaviour. Boy was I wrong.

You live and learn. Thank you guys, really. The time and effort you have spent posting has not been in vain. It has made it much easier for me to just move on and forget about this wacko. I only wish I had posted here before unleashing my anger on her.

Dont feel bad i attract these women too!!Now you know what to look for next time?? Live and learn

 

[Don Israel]

... And the scary thing is this is another very well educated, very 'together' woman and yet her actions and way of thinking are absurd. To be honest I wouldn't want to be with this girl. As people on the thread have said she is cheating on her boyfriend and I would most likely be next.
....

Funny how some educated and 'very together ' women think that their 'higher status', gives them some sort of right to give ultimatums.





.

 

[tinctrar]

I'd appreciate views on this. Out of the blue a girl I've been seeing demanded to see all of my phone messages and e-mails.

I won't go too much into the background of this but this girl has a boyfriend.

I didnt even need to read more brother.

She has a boyfriend. Whether there is any cheating involved or not u gotta expect this. Why?

Cause she is fvckin around on her man! Her paranoia has now transferred to you.

Walk away now. Do yourself a favor. She will do this to you. Been there, done that and I even have the T-shirt!

Utilize your Alpha skills to spin plates and find girls that are worth using them on. Otherwise it aint alpha.

 

[Miles28]

Hi,

Quick update on this.

She sent me a text the next day saying although I had called her some dreadful names she couldn't hate me. She was playing the victim saying that she was going to tell her boyfriend and she would be left unloved by me or him. I replied once and just said 'I don't care what you do. Just don't involve me any further'.

That's it, end of story. That night I went on another date with a different girl, had a great time then went out clubbing afterwards and carried on having a great time!!

The funny thing is if this had happened a few years ago this girl would have broken me. I would have been begging her, like some AFC fool, to give me another shot. She would have walked away content and satisfied that she had proved that she still had the power to break a guy. I would have mourned for weeks thinking about what I could have done differently, etc.

Now I don't feel at all bad. I'm not vindictive but she definitely tried to inflict damage on me and I just bounced it back so that she's the one who now, according to her anyway, is 'a wreck'. Maybe she's not, I don't wish any particular harm on her but, given the way she behaved, rather her than me.

I definitely owe a lot of that to this forum so thanks guys. Onwards and upwards!

M

 

[SoCalMike]

Hi,

Quick update on this.

She sent me a text the next day saying although I had called her some dreadful names she couldn't hate me. She was playing the victim saying that she was going to tell her boyfriend and she would be left unloved by me or him. I replied once and just said 'I don't care what you do. Just don't involve me any further'.

That's it, end of story. That night I went on another date with a different girl, had a great time then went out clubbing afterwards and carried on having a great time!!

The funny thing is if this had happened a few years ago this girl would have broken me. I would have been begging her, like some AFC fool, to give me another shot. She would have walked away content and satisfied that she had proved that she still had the power to break a guy. I would have mourned for weeks thinking about what I could have done differently, etc.

Now I don't feel at all bad. I'm not vindictive but she definitely tried to inflict damage on me and I just bounced it back so that she's the one who now, according to her anyway, is 'a wreck'. Maybe she's not, I don't wish any particular harm on her but, given the way she behaved, rather her than me.

I definitely owe a lot of that to this forum so thanks guys. Onwards and upwards!

M

Good job dude, and here is a good example of why you must have other options available, i.e. you going out on the other date put your mind off this crazy b*tch.

BTW I have had several women sneak through my phone, and/or demand to see my txts. It's a common pattern with many women. My ex wife did this numerous times, lack of trust was a major cause of our divorce.

One last thing, I would avoid dating women who have bf's... or at least serious bf's (if they live with them that's serious). Bad sh*t can happen if the dude is jealous or psycho. Not judging b/c I've done it too... but best to avoid it.

 

[Reyaj]

Miles I just read your post here. We have a lot of things in common man. Thanks for replying on my dilemma which I will respond back to soon. But anyway in regards to this situation man let me just share the following thoughts

There are copious women who are for lack of a better word pure shvt! Your last 2 were merely just examples of this preponderance.

Feel like a winner man! You basically were able to have an awseome sexual relationship with a girl who has a boyfriend. Unfortunately you developed feelings but you were able to reason above them and cut your losses. You'll still be able to think about the awseome sex you had with this girl while her boyfriend was probably wondering where she was. You will have these wackoff memories for life! Not that I advocate hooking up with involved women, but you must have felt a little power trip down deep knowing you were more man than her boyfriend that she wanted your cvck.

Regarding telling this girl off.... this is actually something I have done a lot (you'll see plenty of examples if you ever read my approach journal). I am actually trying to improve on this, and I have done so to a good degree. However I realized something this past weekend.... you need to let out your anger somehow, especially if it builds up so strongly that it irks you constantly. If you don't do it towards the perpetrator, then you are going to end up displacing it on the wrong people/situations which is even worse. If a girl is truly a cvunt she deserves to be told off. FWIW I felt better every time I have done it. As long as you don't do anything illegal or reckless then let these bvtches know what they are.


Off your main topic but I'm curious but what nationality was this girl and how did you end up meeting?

 

[Miles28]

SoCalMike

It's scary how many women do this. I resent women who want to take over the entirety of my life. I like the idea of having a partner and someone to go through trials and tribulations with but I ALWAYS want to have at least part of myself that is just for me and I'll be damned if I'm going to accept the argument that being in a relationship (and this latest experience was far from a relationship) means giving open access to every single area of my life!

Jayer,

I think we have a lot in common! Re your other thread I don't want to be the Kailex fan club or anything but he really has hit the nail on the head as far as I'm concerned. He's been in the same situation as you as have I and we're both telling you the same thing. Anyway I'll post about that on the other thread!!

The girl was Middle Eastern and very hot. I'll be totally honest about this situation, given what you said. I'm really glad that I texted this girl what I did. I deliberately sent messages that weren't wildly abusive but were designed to wound as much as possible. That sounds horrendous doesn't it? Actually setting out to hurt another human being. Well it is and it makes me worry a bit about myself. As I say a few years ago I would have taken all the pain myself and begged for another chance. The reason why I don't feel terrible at what I did is that she was so incredibly selfish and utterly callous when it came to any effect her actions might have on me. The only thing that made her sit up and take notice was me saying what I did to her. And her reaction to what I said was still utterly narcissistic and self obsessed. So I'm not sorry I did it and I agree that there are times when it's good to tell women what you think of them. The only caveat is that it has to be done in a cold, incisive way and not in a 'throw your toys out of the pram' way, otherwise it just makes you look weak and affected.

I played down the satisfaction I got out of sending her the text I did because I know the general view on the forum is that in circumstances such as these it's better just to rise above the woman's stupid behaviour and take the moral high road. I agree that generally this is better but there are exceptions!

Thanks again everyone, for all the advice. As I say it really did make the situation very easy to deal with. It's satisfying to know that I've developed enough in the last few years to not lose a night's sleep over something that previously would have wrecked me for weeks.

Peace.

 

[jophil28]

She sent me a text the next day saying although I had called her some dreadful names she couldn't hate me. She was playing the victim saying that she was going to tell her boyfriend and she would be left unloved by me or him.

This is a classic example of how low quality women try to manipulate, and mindfvck right to the very end.

 

[ATX1001]

As I said, I think, this is a guy that wrote in his diary a couple of semi-bad things about her, she hacked into his diary, read it, printed it out, confronted him with it and then HE begged forgiveness. Unbelievable huh?

She then told me that she didn't really want to read my e-mails, it was just a test to see if I would let her and if I had said 'Yes' then she wouldn't have read them. Not that it matters that much but I don't really believe that. I think she probably would have spent the next 3 or 4 hours reading every e-mail I have, although I can't be sure.

Is she Polish by any chance?

This is the exact **** my ex-wife (who is Polish) would pull. She hacked into my email, etc. on many occasions and was over-the-top extremely jealous.