Girl confides in me?

[The LadyKiller]

I'll start this off with the question and then the context below. If a HB lets her guard down and begins divulging personal details about herself, is this considered a sign of interest or a sign of friendship?

I've known a HB who I met at my work for a short while and we seem to click. About three weeks ago, her mother passed away. I sent her a nice condolence message, which she seemed to appreciate. HB returned to work last week, appearing to be ok.

However, I've noticed she's become extremely open with me since her return. She'll text me a question even when she doesn't need to (an excuse to talk to me?). The other day, I had an hour-long break and was heading to the cafeteria. She insisted on hanging with me the entire hour. During the week, in addition to the joking and general talk that we normally do, she has freely told me about her family following the tragedy - about how her dad is feeling lonely, about how her family have had some long phone calls, etc. The other day, after we got off work at the same time, I walked her out because her friend was picking her up and she didn't know where the pick up zone was. I found out the next day that her "friend" was her dad.

Then yesterday happened. I pulled a prank on her during work that she found funny. Moments later, she IMed me (on our intranet) that she wasn't feeling well. I initially thought her dinner wasn't settling or something. Until she said, "No, I keep having flashbacks of the night my mom died and seeing her, I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack." :nervous: I was on the other side of the building and was working on a time-sensitive project, so I tried to calm her down and suggest some ways to relieve the anxiety. She ended up being ok and stopped by to say good night afterward.

Because she definitely wouldn't be this open with everyone (my friend said she was telling people she was on vacation), I have to ask the forum if this is a sign of friendship or a sign of interest.

 

[Epimanes]

Let me tell you. If she is opening up like that's its a sign of interest. Women usually have a high need for intimate conversation (so basicly any convo that includes how she feels about stuff) and if you do that enough women can fall in love with you when you meet that need for them alone. The top 5 needs for women are often (but not limited to) the opposite 5 of men. So by meeting her need for intimate convo often she will fall in love with you and want to meet your needs. The top 5 emotional needs for women are often 1. Intimate conversation 2. Non sexual affection 3. Openess and honesty 4. Financial support 5. Family commitment. Where the top 5 for men are often but not limited to 1. Sexual fulfillment 2. Recreational companionship 3. Physical atractiveness 4. Domestic support 5. Admiration.

Meet each others top needs enough and boom you will be in love in no time. Even by accident.

Epi

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Ooooo, nope, sorry, but that's not it!

In short, what's happening is that she's made you her therapist. Her mom died and she didn't want to have to pay to talk to someone about it; however, when you hit her up with the "sorry to hear about your mom" message, her subconscious said "hey, we can talk to HIM about it, and he'll probably go along with it!"

And, quite honestly, it's the LAST thing you should be allowing her to talk about with you. All it's going to do is make her put the image of you and her dead Mom in the same mind frame - not a good look when you first start talking to a girl. Think about it - you think you're going to have a conversation that goes from talking about her dead Mom to banging her brains out? HA!

Also, don't listen to your friend on this one - in reality, unless you're around for every conversation she has with other people, you don't know who else she told what else to.

With all that said, if you want to know if she's interested, stick to the basics: get her number (though you've already done that), call her up and ask her out. Oh, and stop text messaging her so much - texting KILLS relationships. It's bad enough you work with her and have to see her everyday - don't blow it by messaging her when she's NOT around you as well. Hope this helps!

 

[MM92]

The same sort of thing happened with me recently. I saw it as a sign of interest at first but it became obvious after the lack of sex that I was just like a therapist to her. It's a shame I didn't realise it sooner, would have saved me a whole lot of time.

Maybe ask her out sometime. Apply kino etc and see how she responds. The only way you'll really know.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Then yesterday happened. I pulled a prank on her during work that she found funny. Moments later, she IMed me (on our intranet) that she wasn't feeling well. I initially thought her dinner wasn't settling or something. Until she said, "No, I keep having flashbacks of the night my mom died and seeing her, I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack." :nervous: I was on the other side of the building and was working on a time-sensitive project, so I tried to calm her down and suggest some ways to relieve the anxiety. She ended up being ok and stopped by to say good night afterward.

Because she definitely wouldn't be this open with everyone (my friend said she was telling people she was on vacation), I have to ask the forum if this is a sign of friendship or a sign of interest.

She going through tragic time in her life man. Open up your eyes! She found someone she can open up to at work for when these anxiety attacks occur.
Harry hit all the major points really. I wouldn't get involved too much, but hey that's me.

#1. It's a co-worker
#2. She's emotionally unstable which is understandable her mom just passed away!


Woman do this all this time, they create new friendships to either forget about old ones or to keep there minds off of issues or whatever it is they are going through in their lives.

 

[Clench2465]

Can somebody say friendzone?

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Then yesterday happened. I pulled a prank on her during work that she found funny. Moments later, she IMed me (on our intranet) that she wasn't feeling well. I initially thought her dinner wasn't settling or something. Until she said, "No, I keep having flashbacks of the night my mom died and seeing her, I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack." :nervous: I was on the other side of the building and was working on a time-sensitive project, so I tried to calm her down and suggest some ways to relieve the anxiety. She ended up being ok and stopped by to say good night afterward.

Because she definitely wouldn't be this open with everyone (my friend said she was telling people she was on vacation), I have to ask the forum if this is a sign of friendship or a sign of interest.

She going through tragic time in her life man. Open up your eyes! She found someone she can open up to at work for when these anxiety attacks occur.
Harry hit all the major points really. I wouldn't get involved too much, but hey that's me.

#1. It's a co-worker
#2. She's emotionally unstable which is understandable her mom just passed away!

 

[Bagofnuts]

Dont get too involve. I learnt te hard way

 

[foreverAFC]

any day now she is going to casually mention she has a bf

 

[zinc4]

guys how do you achieve friendzone???

i am serious...not bragging because i wish i could do it some...it s actually a weakness for me not tobe able to do it...for some reason women do not feel comfortable around me unless we are banging....i am just one of those people that others do not feel close to unless we are going through or have gone through something intimate together...

it's either that or silence.....just like all my guy friends even..my only good friends we have been through some serious **** together that formed the bond...but heck, other wise i find it very difficult to gain people's trust...i actually want to befriend some female co workers but they are threatened by me for whatever reason..either that or secretly like me...i have even thought about telling them i am gay just to get them to lower their shields...

 

[Cremasta]

There is potential interest there right now, so it could go either way depending on how bold you are.

Letting her talk to you at work about all her problems over lunch or in the carpark after work will put you in the friendzone well and truly.

Telling her "I know what you need to take your mind off things", then taking her indoor rock climbing on the weekend or something like that, which will give you plenty of opportunities to make her laugh and get some physical contact going will probably raise her interest.

Your call.