Girl bringing friend along

[Faca]

A girl i know some time.. that had interest in me, but i pulled the LJBF on her. (Now im reconsidering her for a f-buddy). I am seeing her tommorow, or that what i've planned to do. Now she says that she will come with her friend(girl), without asking or anything. For me this is disrespectfull!

This isn't the first time this happend, but then i would bring a friend along too. Now i don't have any interest in her friend in any way and dont want her around.

The excuse she used is that she doesn't like to travel alone (she has to drive about 1,5 hours), but i think it's bullshyt. If she was interested she would come alone.

I had this happen a couple of times.. and some of the excuses i got was.. that she couldn't cancel on her cause she made already plans etc when i said something about it, and then i would bring a friend too. Now im starting to get annoyed, and might be flaking on her.

Just tell her , or play the game?

 

[kyphan]

As soon as she said she was bringing a friend I would have told her "Not to be rude, but I invited YOU to spend time with ME, and I do not appreciate you suddenly changing things without asking me."

If she comes up with excuses then say, "Then let's get together some other time." Still more excuses, "Maybe I'll see you around."

NOW that you have accepted her offer (and you did accept it), you'll have to spinelessly slink out of it and forget about her.

And why are you trying to date a girl who lives an hour and a half away from you?

 

[Faca]

As soon as she said she was bringing a friend I would have told her "Not to be rude, but I invited YOU to spend time with ME, and I do not appreciate you suddenly changing things without asking me."

If she comes up with excuses then say, "Then let's get together some other time." Still more excuses, "Maybe I'll see you around."

NOW that you have accepted her offer (and you did accept it), you'll have to spinelessly slink out of it and forget about her.

And why are you trying to date a girl who lives an hour and a half away from you?

I haven't accepted it yet, have not responded back yet. Now keep in my i don't need this girl, nor i'm trying to date her.. Not sure if i'll make it tommorow.. But im more interesed in what to do when this happens again, if it happens. I'll translate the mail:

" ..... I'm free tommorow, i have made plan with [her-friend] to come to [town].. im not sure when, i'll speak with her tonight. I'll let you know tommorow so we can get together... "

When i set up a date or to hang out, most of the times the chicks don't bring anyone.. but come alone. It seems as if she's not mature enough to come alone and hang out. Younger chicks tend to do this, when i was younger also..

Girls say they bring a friend the first date, if they aren't comfortable around the guy etc.. But i think they do it because they have low interest.

 

[MacAvoy]

I would definately bail on her. I'm not one big on bailing or nexting either. However this is a lose lose situation for you. The best you can hope for in this situation is blue balls. Best case scenario would be that you and this girl hit it off, have a great time, but you can't fvck her cuz her friend will be stuck to her hip.

Having a wingman with you only goes so far. He's got to have an amazing game to try pull her away to give you any room, however there unlikely to split considering they are 1.5 hrs from home. They're not like 2 girls at a bar that can go home separately.

I would call her and as buddy said above, tell her that your not interested in spending time with her friends, if she's not interested enough in you to see you alone, then you don't want to see her.

She sees you as LJBF'ing her already so she's just protecting herself, playin the game, puttin out a sh1t test out there. Don't take it. Go about it in a friendly, positive way but stand your ground.

 

[md3sign]

That's bullsh!t. Like kyp said you're hanging out with HER, not her and her friend. How on earth do you plan to make any sort of move on with another girl there?

Girls don't bring a friend on a date because they aren't comfortable. If they weren't comfortable they wouldn't have agreed to a date in the first place. Don't waste your time thinking you can somehow game your way through this.

 

[kyphan]

If she did not call you with that info (which was not stated in the first post) then do not accept her offer and try to reschedule with just her. Once again, if she refuses to make it just the two of you then you already know you're wasting your time.

 

[Thomas94305]

Go and flirt shamelessly with her friend...

That's not recommended to fix things, but it would be worth laughs. I'd certainly do that as opposed to nexting the gal. You'd get to practice your DJ skills. Your friend can't object, since it was HER idea to avoid something one on one and personal.. thus she can't gripe about your romantic attention going elsewhere.

This I am strongly recommending... don't make a big deal of this gal. It's entering the game stage. Go for laughs. If you're really pyssed off, then certainly pass on the group thing, people have already posted ideas for how to do that.

 

[Faca]

Thanks guys!

Kryptan i followed your advice.. at first i thought it might be rude, and felt wrong.. but fvck it. What i did before hasn't worked, so its better to try a new approach.

md3sign,
Why do they bring a friend on a date, if it's not for that reason?


- faca

 

[kyphan]

Thanks guys!

Kryptan i followed your advice.. at first i thought it might be rude, and felt wrong.. but fvck it. What i did before hasn't worked, so its better to try a new approach.

She's the one who told you in a non-phone call that she was bringing a friend. Think about that - she did not have the courtesy to call and ask you, and you are worried about coming off as rude! Stick to your guns.

 

[md3sign]

Why do they bring a friend on a date, if it's not for that reason?

Unless it's a double date, it's just for her entertainment. Obviously it's much harder to make a move on someone with another friend present and don't think for a moment she doesn't realize this.

In other words ... she doesn't even WANT you to make a move on her, she's not that interested, she's bringing her friend to ensure that, and she just wants to have some fun with a friend. I could be wrong, but 2 girls + 1 dude on a "date" isn't a very good idea unless there's gonna be a threesome after, which I really doubt.

 

[thirtyplus]

What she said in the email isn't even an unequivocal "we're going to hang out". It's a half-suggested possibility.

NEXT NEXT NEXT this girl. I seem to be typing that a lot today but honestly, it needs to be said, 60% of the posts I've ready are guys who need to throw out the trash they've accumulated and start over.

Fair admission -- whether it was intentional or not, when I was younger I had a girl bring her "friend" on a hang-out. I just stuck to my guns and ran the same **** on both of them and ended up wildly attracting both of them. Split up their friendship for about 18 months as they "fought" over me. One of them is still bitter because her friend ultimately "got" me. I ended up nexting her, too, though (the one who "got" me) and recently she's been trying to jump back on my nuts after about a year in between.

Nothing is impossible, but some things just aren't worth the trouble. This girl is one of them. NEXT.

 

[Kev07]

dude, 1.5 hours to drive alone must be a b1tch. why dont you offer to pick her up and tell her to leave her friend behind

 

[Kevin Cass]

Go and flirt shamelessly with her friend...

That's not recommended to fix things, but it would be worth laughs. I'd certainly do that as opposed to nexting the gal. You'd get to practice your DJ skills. Your friend can't object, since it was HER idea to avoid something one on one and personal.. thus she can't gripe about your romantic attention going elsewhere.

This I am strongly recommending... don't make a big deal of this gal. It's entering the game stage. Go for laughs. If you're really pyssed off, then certainly pass on the group thing, people have already posted ideas for how to do that.

i think this would be very very fun!:rock:

 

[Faca]

update

Now guys, the reason for not picking her up or anything is that i have other things to do and can't make it.

I i've translate the mail, so it may sound a bit weird with grammatical etc.

UPDATE (mail):
"
hmm sorry for the misunderstanding, i was not sure if we had real plan for this friday. It was not 100% sure. In the meantime (her friend) contacted me to go and to something. And now to travel 1.5 hours alone, it's for me okey that she comes with me. If i knew that you wanted to meet me alone, then i would have called her, i would travel alone! I thought you KNEW that. It wouldnt be the first time that i came alone, and you know you've hurt my feelings a bit now.

If you still want to meet, get in touch with me later. We'll be around 4 in the City.

One more time sorry, but i believe the misunderstand was on both sides!

(PS. I wouldnt have anything against that we were alone , but...)
"

Now let me say, i'm glad i responded that way. I said what i really meant, and didn't play her game. Even if she responded angry or something, i wouldnt mind.

Now i'll see if i go, my gut tells me that i should.. but it also told me not to send that mail!.. and i did and it worked for me! Maybe i should do the unlogical thing, and this time not GO! So'll let her know that it's on my TERM and not HERS!

Let me know what you think!

3 things i thinking to do:

1) Go, and have fun with 2 chicks... even if there is almost no posibility that i'll have sex that night. Only my time i might be throwing away, and could be spent better!

2) Don't Go, but call her that you won't make it, because of something that came along! I would say to her, that it was a misunderstanding.

3) Don't Go, Don't Call!

- faca

 

[dynamicallyidle]

A girl i know some time.. that had interest in me, but i pulled the LJBF on her. (Now im reconsidering her for a f-buddy). I am seeing her tommorow, or that what i've planned to do. Now she says that she will come with her friend(girl), without asking or anything. For me this is disrespectfull!

This isn't the first time this happend, but then i would bring a friend along too. Now i don't have any interest in her friend in any way and dont want her around.

The excuse she used is that she doesn't like to travel alone (she has to drive about 1,5 hours), but i think it's bullshyt. If she was interested she would come alone.

I had this happen a couple of times.. and some of the excuses i got was.. that she couldn't cancel on her cause she made already plans etc when i said something about it, and then i would bring a friend too. Now im starting to get annoyed, and might be flaking on her.

Just tell her , or play the game?

Hey dude. I have to be a dissenting opinion here. I think you should just chill. 1.5 hours is a long ass way to drive, and the fact that she is even driving that distance to see you means a lot. And what's more, you just want to be friends right? What do you care if she brings her friend? Maybe her friend will be hot and you'll end up getting with her friend instead. Damn.

I'll tell you what, if you're going to bail on her, I'd want to be no friend of yours.

My advice: Chill.

 

[md3sign]

If you want her as a friend, sure hang out.

If you want her as something more, just politely tell her you won't be able to make it and maybe some other time and that you'd rather just be alone with her. She'll understand.

Otherwise I think you'll end up pretty pissed having spent all that time with 2 chicks who aren't that interested in you.

 

[MacAvoy]

I agree with dynamicallyidle to some degree as well. If she's driving 1.5 hr, that is a solid indicator of interest. However backing out wouldn't be all that bad either as there was no concrete plans and sending her a message wouldn't hurt either.

 

[2Cool]

Let's think about this. A young woman is willing to drive 1.5 hours to see you, and you are worried about being disrespected? The simple fact that she is willing to make the drive should tell you something, whether or not she has a friend or not is immaterial. If she weren't interested in some fashion, do you think she would waste the time, money, distance, and gasoline on you? Pleease! Apparently, there's something about you that she is willing to risk the time and energy on you.

I would suggest playing this one out, even if it doesn't work to your liking. Think about this a little differently. If she were local I would agree, but she isn't, and she's putting a lot of effort to see you. Do you think any other woman would travel that far to see you if they didn't think highly of you?

Think about it, she may be someone that will require a little patience. But she has already shown you a great deal of interest by making the drive. Just be confident, so she knows her drive is not in vain, and the prize she is after is one worthy of the 1.5 hours.