girl being fake?

[1hepcat]

Hi guys, long time reader, first time poster.

Seriously though, I got a situation that I'd like to get your input on. Here goes.

I knew this girl for a while but not very well. I would run into her and talk to her every now and then. Well I thought she was hot so one day I just asked for her number. She whips a pen out and writes it down for me and then asks for mine.

So I call her (1week) and ask her out; she seems enthusiastic. I go to pick her up. At this point, something goes wrong with me. My IL was too high. I turn into the Nice Guy, or what I think you guys would call AFC, which I think means Average Frustrated Chump. (?) I appeared too interested, I ran my mouth too much, etc... all the AFC stuff and I think she lost interest by the end of the date.

Well back to my state of mind at the time... I take her back to her apt. and she invites me in, shows me around. We sit down, but instead of sitting next to me on the couch, she sits in a chair. WTF! I hang for a few minutes and chat but don't want to stay too long so I say I gotta get going and walk up to her, she gives me a hug. When I pull back I kiss her. But it was like she was just letting me kiss her and didn't really want to kiss me. But being in AFC mode, I ignore this. Next time I see her, I'm big time AFC... "Hi J****!".... *** SPLOOOOGE *** No I didn't really cream my jeans but I was way too happy to see her. She's cold, almost rude.

So I didn't talk to her for a while and said as little as possible and left if she said hi to me and now I've finally recovered from AFC mode. (and I'm going to work hard to stay out of AFC!) But now every time she sees me she acts all super-friendly and crap and it pisses me off because I think it's fake. Yesterday I saw her and she didn't see me right away so I made sure not to look in that direction but she still noticed me..., "Hi ***, how are you? What are you doing this summer? Blah blah blah!" What should I do? It's driving me nuts!

 

[matius]

I've been reading other posts and I agree with this. Be cool with yourself- don't care so much about if she is going to like you or if she is having a good time. It's okay to show interest in her- AND YES- even be nice (shiver)...As long as you don't get deep or too complicated (heavy)...and have a good time.

Just relax man...These articles are just to get you more confident in yourself. You're going to make more mistakes just learn and relax.

 

[matius]

BTW- You're thinking quite a bit. WTF would a girl invite you into her apt. if she didn't have interest.

 

[PRMoon]

You're not in the hole yet son. So you goofed on your first mission, big deal most girls don't go from 100% interested to 0 in just one date. She's still talking to you, she's willing to give you another shot. You just need to stay out of AFC mode, keep your head. Next time you ask her out make it a casual thing. Nice touch with the week between getting the number and calling her, it kept her interest high.

Talk less the next time you're on a date with her, let her ramble on about her friends, parents, home town schooling, blah blah blah blah girls like to hear themselves talk and if you only occasionally inteject with statements like "what do you mean" or "Wait Wait, explain to me what ____ is better?" it show's that you're listening, also something they like.

You're definately still in the game and you're doing okay, with little bit of work you can get back in the drivers seat with this one no problem.

 

[1hepcat]

Originally posted by matius
BTW- You're thinking quite a bit. WTF would a girl invite you into her apt. if she didn't have interest.

I thought about that too. It's confusing. But at some point something went wrong because I asked her out a second time and she turned me down (with a bogus excuse).

I'm doing well now. I've gone out with another girl twice and was much more laid back and had a good time. But this girl frustrates me because a part of me still likes her. I'm not trying to get her to like me now though and so I'm more laid back and in fact I usually get her to smile and laugh when I talk to her.

 

[matius]

You know what. Let her go...you're exactly right. There is this one girl who I'm talking to that doesn't show so much interest in me now- I've been subconsciously plotting ways to get her to like me or find my way back into her world...Until I checked myself today with the help of 100cagefighters thread.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27985

Now, my story of course is much less weak...but it showed me to kill the attention I direct toward her. I'm going to see other women and move on - focusing on myself. If she would like to join me, she can make this known. Feel good on the inside, have fun for yourself- worry less about how she feels towards you.

If you have fun, she'll want to spend time with you and it will be obvious.