"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Girl being a bad friend

jobluek

Don Juan
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I met this girl through a friend about a year ago, and we'd only hang out when we were out with our mutual friend, who is really cool. Over time we became decent friends. The thing that frustrates me is that she's really flakey. We all hang out roughly every other weekend, but she flakes out almost as much as she actually comes out.

We all went out last night for drinks, and when our mutual friend left, we got to a bit of flirting. She was pretty fun to hang out with. I had to leave early because I work in the morning, but we made plans to meet up tonight for a free show that was playing in our area.

So fast forward to today, I text her when I'm on my way home from work, and told her since the weather sucks we shouldn't go to the show (it was an outside show). She said that's cool, how about you just come over to my place. I said I could come over a little later because I was still in traffic, and I'd call her. Then she texted me like 90 minutes later saying she was still not feeling well (she said she was really hungover from last night in our initial conversation) and asked for a rain check.

I still haven't responded because I am not sure if this is a sh!t test (why is she giving me one anyway??) or how I should respond. If I get mad I come off insecure and if I say no worries then I am encouraging that behavior. Considering she has a pretty full past of pulling stuff like this, it's not safe to say it won't happen again.

So, how do you deal with this? She's my friend and I don't want to cut off communication with her, but I'm getting frustrated with this type of behavior. I know it's not just me, because she flakes on her best friends all the time as well. She's a fun person to hang out with but she is getting hard to deal with.

Thoughts, on her, and how I respond tonight?

Thanks.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jobluek

Don Juan
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Mar 24, 2008
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Seriously, no help guys?

When she wrote and said she was feeling sick and wanted a raincheck, I replied, "Maybe..how are you going to make up for bailing on me?"

She just responded, good question, i'm not sure.

Pretty weak response in my opinion...
 
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