I've been thinking quite a bit about my past with women, and the kinds of attraction dynamics I've seen/heard/read about.
There are 3 cases, to my understanding:
1. The woman is not interested in you -> acts like a good girl around you.
2. The woman is interested in you as 'boyfriend material' -> acts like a good girl around you
3. The woman is interested in you sexually, sees you as the alpha badboy -> she's very flirty, forward, shows a bit more of her wild side, more sexual in general, lowers her inhibititions
The women who were interested in me in my past, were pretty much always case #2. They acted like good girls, quite conservative, very modest, etc., the usual. I can't remember a scenario when I was in case #3.
I remembered something from a while back just now. I'm not afraid of cussing, in fact I sometimes use curse words/profanity in my daily conversations casually (for better or worse). Well a while back, I was having a conversation with the girl I was interested in (and she was interested in me), and however it happened, we got on the topic of cussing. She said she doesn't cuss, because it's 'not right', and said "I do not use such words, please" (in a joking manner, etc.). I hadn't really heard her cuss much either, so it seemed plausible to me.
Maybe a few weeks to a month later, I was with her and a mutual friend, another dude; this guy was (in my evaluation) pretty manly, rather handsome, tall + muscular, etc. Joking around, he was teasing her and she responded with "omg, fvck you", and making the 'brush under the chin **** you hand gesture' playfully.
I thought it was a little odd then, but for whatever reason it's really striking me now. She wanted to put on a 'good girl' impression when just talking to me, but in front of a man whom I assume she found more sexually attractive, she wasn't afraid of being more 'wild'. There are other scenarios in my memory where this girl would put say one thing "I don't have an opposition to premarital sex", and then say the opposite later. There were too many variables in the context to absolutely tell what was going on (who she was putting on a front/letting down her guard for), but the situation is similar I think. There are a couple of things I want to ask about:
1. From this scenario, it's painfully obvious that she's interested if she lowers her barriers on her social pressures like that. My problem is, when women see you as "boyfriend material" (and this is assuming that sphere of attraction actually is a thing/exists), they act similar as to if they were not interested in you at all. I have missed out on opportunities because I couldn't really tell if a girl was interested in me or not because of this. How do I discern the difference, as the good girl act is the same? Is she interested because she's greeting me and smiling at me, etc., or is she just a polite/friendly respectable woman?
2. Is it better to be that alpha/sexy/badboy type? Everything is so much simpler that way. Is it bad that women see you as "boyfriend material"/put up a front around you, not showing you their more private side? If these are true, how do I change myself so that women don't see me as someone like that?
There are 3 cases, to my understanding:
1. The woman is not interested in you -> acts like a good girl around you.
2. The woman is interested in you as 'boyfriend material' -> acts like a good girl around you
3. The woman is interested in you sexually, sees you as the alpha badboy -> she's very flirty, forward, shows a bit more of her wild side, more sexual in general, lowers her inhibititions
The women who were interested in me in my past, were pretty much always case #2. They acted like good girls, quite conservative, very modest, etc., the usual. I can't remember a scenario when I was in case #3.
I remembered something from a while back just now. I'm not afraid of cussing, in fact I sometimes use curse words/profanity in my daily conversations casually (for better or worse). Well a while back, I was having a conversation with the girl I was interested in (and she was interested in me), and however it happened, we got on the topic of cussing. She said she doesn't cuss, because it's 'not right', and said "I do not use such words, please" (in a joking manner, etc.). I hadn't really heard her cuss much either, so it seemed plausible to me.
Maybe a few weeks to a month later, I was with her and a mutual friend, another dude; this guy was (in my evaluation) pretty manly, rather handsome, tall + muscular, etc. Joking around, he was teasing her and she responded with "omg, fvck you", and making the 'brush under the chin **** you hand gesture' playfully.
I thought it was a little odd then, but for whatever reason it's really striking me now. She wanted to put on a 'good girl' impression when just talking to me, but in front of a man whom I assume she found more sexually attractive, she wasn't afraid of being more 'wild'. There are other scenarios in my memory where this girl would put say one thing "I don't have an opposition to premarital sex", and then say the opposite later. There were too many variables in the context to absolutely tell what was going on (who she was putting on a front/letting down her guard for), but the situation is similar I think. There are a couple of things I want to ask about:
1. From this scenario, it's painfully obvious that she's interested if she lowers her barriers on her social pressures like that. My problem is, when women see you as "boyfriend material" (and this is assuming that sphere of attraction actually is a thing/exists), they act similar as to if they were not interested in you at all. I have missed out on opportunities because I couldn't really tell if a girl was interested in me or not because of this. How do I discern the difference, as the good girl act is the same? Is she interested because she's greeting me and smiling at me, etc., or is she just a polite/friendly respectable woman?
2. Is it better to be that alpha/sexy/badboy type? Everything is so much simpler that way. Is it bad that women see you as "boyfriend material"/put up a front around you, not showing you their more private side? If these are true, how do I change myself so that women don't see me as someone like that?