Girl at party

[trv26]

hi,

I'm kinda trying to hit on a girl I saw at a party via facebook, so need some advice.

Thing is I saw her there but did not chat to her at all. However, I thought I could always go to the invite list for the party....did so found her there and sent her a message and an add request.

The message went something like.....Loved ur top blah blah, wanted to chat to u but didn't get a chance etc.

Thing is I got the add, but no reply whatsoever, so any ideas how to proceed?

 

[MyBloodyValentine]

dude...that was beyond creepy. talk to girls at the party not from behind your screen.

 

[Aragon034]

I find that people will unconsciously finish sentences when they don't fully understand it's meaning.

So "I liked your top" can easily be finished with "I want to choke you with it while reaming you" in a person's mind.

It's a party dude, chat, mingle, meet everybody. plant the seed there.

do a search for Facebook threads. that's really the best advice i can give you since i rarely bother with facebook anyway.

 

[brownbear.]

yeah, just chalk it up as a learning expierience, go over and talk to her next time, i think you may be f#cked as far as this one goes

 

[trv26]

But surely the fact she accepted the ad request means she isn't that averse to being gamed. Wouldn't giving it a go mean atleast I have a bit of experience in facebook game?

Or was my way of contacting her too weird for it to lead anywhere? And best thing thus being to leave it at that?

 

[jahidi]

But surely the fact she accepted the ad request means she isn't that averse to being gamed.

She could have added you because you're her friend, she could have added you because she wants to look cool with a big friends list, or she could have added you because she wants the validation of you chasing her and her rejecting you. More often than not, if you add a random girl who doesn't know you, she would accept.

I hate to burst your bubble but not every girl on your friends list wants your diick.

Anyway, it's a little weird that you didn't talk to her at the party but once you were on your computer you did. I used to be a pusssy like that too, I would be too scared to talk to girls in person but then on MSN/facebook my balls would double in size and I'd be this interesting, bold guy who I could never be in person. It was creepy and they would quickly be ignoring me online as well.

Any change you'll be seeing her in person anytime soon? Maybe at another party? That would be your best shot at correcting your first impression and salvaging the situation.

One thing's for sure though, don't message her again on facebook if she wasn't interested enough to reply to your first one.

 

[trv26]

@ Jahidi

Nah no good chance of seeing her again soon.

Also about you being nervous about approaching girls earlier, how did you manage to change that.

 

[It's-Me]

hi,

I'm kinda trying to hit on a girl I saw at a party via facebook, so need some advice.

Thing is I saw her there but did not chat to her at all. However, I thought I could always go to the invite list for the party....did so found her there and sent her a message and an add request.

The message went something like.....Loved ur top blah blah, wanted to chat to u but didn't get a chance etc.

Thing is I got the add, but no reply whatsoever, so any ideas how to proceed?

Yeah I would of talked to her at the party... As far as facebook goes, I would tell her something like this:

"You seemed like a really fun girl at the party, and I just wanted to get to know you better".

 

[saturos]

Well if she was drinking you could pretend to remember her and pretend that you had a conversation >.>

 

[jahidi]

^^ LOL

@ Jahidi

Nah no good chance of seeing her again soon.

Well then your chances probably aren't good if your only way of talking to her is facebook and she already ignored your message. But hey, you've got nothing to lose then. Keep talking to her, learn something along the way, and maybe prove me wrong.

Just don't be let down if her interest in you doesn't change after you message her more. At least not for the better...

Also about you being nervous about approaching girls earlier, how did you manage to change that.

I think a lot of it just comes down to how social of a person you are. Just by spending more time around people I developed social skills that have been key to talking to chicks. (BTW it's important to surround yourself with people you want to be like. Spending more time playing video games with nerds won't translate to doing better with women. Once I started surrounding myself with what you guys call "alpha males", I started to become one myself.)

I doubt many guys who are good with women are the 'wallflowers' who don't talk to anyone at a party, and I doubt any of the wallflowers are good with women.

Now that I am a social guy who can talk to anyone, it's just NATURAL to talk to a girl who I see at a party. If I'm already talking to a lot of people, why not her? It's usually just situational stuff at the start, talking about the party, whatever... and then take it from there if there is interest. (which there often is because of the social proof I've created by talking to all the people)

However it also helps that I've built this social circle over time and because of it I usually know lots of people when I go to a party, so it's a lot easier than talking to everybody in a room where you know nobody.

I don't want to sound like I'm an expert or anything, I'm here to learn too, but this is what works for me. Good luck bud, hope it helps.

 

[trv26]

i ended up sending her another message. No reply once again , so decided to delete her. The end.

I guess I'll just have to work up the courage and speak at the party itself next time around.

 

[DonutMan]

SHouldnt of deleted her...she added you. I mean not everyone has the time to respond to messages right away. You made things weird, and know you made it weirder by deleting her. Unless she knows a lot of other girls that you might be going after who cares if she thinks what you did was a little weird...but if she accepted you as a friend she prob. didn't anyways.. owell, better luck next time

 

[AAAgent]

wow dude, that was mad creepy. if u ever see her again on campus just smile and say hi and pretend ur busy. wouldn't contact her for a while until she loses that creep/stalkerish vibe from you.

if your having a hard time understanding y its creepy/stalkerish heres an example.

imagine u see a girl at the park with a bunch of friends. you add her on FB and then say i saw you with ur friends u looked good.... even though she's never seen u before or talked to you.... imagine what that girls thinking now.... she has some weird guy following where she goes..... just my 2 cents.

 

[AAAgent]

Yeah I would of talked to her at the party... As far as facebook goes, I would tell her something like this:

"You seemed like a really fun girl at the party, and I just wanted to get to know you better".

if u woulda used what "it's me" said you might have been able to pull it off. if she asks who you are just be like remember we chatted/talked when i bumped into your friend. when she realizes that u 2 really didn't meet just play it off and be like "oh sorry haha, i really thought u were the person i met. well it was nice talking to you." then we u meet her at another party u have something to talk about.... how u randomly thought she was a person u met and re-introduce yourself again and be like now i definately know ur the person i met. im gonna go home and message u again and if u answer i'll know im right this time.

dunno if u can salvage the situation tho unless u twist ur message around but if i were u i'd leave it alone and move on.

 

[trv26]

SHouldnt of deleted her...she added you.

Half the areas on her profile were blocked, and no replies to her messages. Seems like she added me so that she can feel happy about having another little puppy dog after her. I thot. it wouldn't lead anywhere, so why add unnecessary people to my friends list. I guess it wouldnt have done any harm but i doubt it would have lead anywhere.

 

[scribblec]

Half the areas on her profile were blocked, and no replies to her messages. Seems like she added me so that she can feel happy about having another little puppy dog after her. I thot. it wouldn't lead anywhere, so why add unnecessary people to my friends list. I guess it wouldnt have done any harm but i doubt it would have lead anywhere.

why didnt you mingle with her at the party? i cant figuire it out by reading the posts here,i was at a party on wenesday and i could hear all the girls asking guys for there facebook etc, so when you do add her later it wont be random out the blue. they asked for mine i turned it round and got her number instead but i doubt ill call it but at least it will turn out to be an ego boost for me instead of her.
so was there a real reason that you didnt talk to her or didnt you talk to any of the girls there

 

[trv26]

Is, I was chicken good enough? i find it hard to strike up a conversation with people I haven't been introduced to.

Any tips to work around the problem any1?

 

[scribblec]

well the party i was at i knew about a quarter of the people there but usually there are things going on which you can relate to,

there could be drinking, smoking, dancing, hookah, and all you would have to do is jump in and 99.9 percent of the time they wont look at it negatively, and as you went to this party im sure you had a few drinks even after these drinks you were chicken? at the end of the day being chicken isnt going to get you anywhere, your probably like how i used to be, waiting for that girl to fall into your lap or for there to be a flashing sign above the girls head saying she wants you, well the odds of those happening are next to none.

if you want something your going to have to go out there and take it, this shows alphaness this is what girls like to see dominance. they dont want guys adding them on facebook AFTER the party especially when you havent spoken to her. its been said before theres no reason to have approach anxiety the worst that could happen is that they dont want to talk to you. is that really so bad?

also approach anxiety will disapear the more times you approach so if you stay chicken then you will be chicken for a while until u decide to make a change for urself