Girl asks ME out and shows extremely high IL, thoughts?

[spiegel549]

This is seriously a first for me. Tell me what you think.

I have been going to this local restaurant for breakfast almost every Sunday the past 5 months. Always dressed nicely and on A game I usually either see or get this girl Kelly as my waitress. I always thought she was really attractive but just never thought nor had the opportunity to ask her out because she is always so busy running around.

This past Sunday she was serving me and she was giving me the neon lights to ask her out. So I casually gave her MY number and said "Hit me up sometime to get together."

2 hours later she hit me up on her lunch to save her number. We engaged in a convo which SHE asked me out lol...

So I had a first date with her last night (Tuesday) and had A BLAST with this chick. She is 23 but she works with kids, is very smart, gets jokes, great sense of humor, literally no games, no BS, just straight blunt truth how she has been waiting for me to ask her out and glad I finally did etc.

We had a great time, lots of Kino and kissing etc. She must of complemented how handsome I was 5 times lol....I would throw a few flirty comments back of course with out over doing it.

So here is where my thinking is at lol
I can't help but to naturally feel this is fuking odd lol. She is really cute, young, killer body, hard worker, smart, and apparently thinks I am a greek god LOL..I am definitely seeing her again and so far no red flags.

I sorta find this all funny but cool at the same time lol. Thoughts?

 

[AttackFormation]

My thoughts: fvck her before she wonders why you haven't yet, you already missed doing so on the first date, so you've got 1-2 more times before she wonders if you're gay.

 

[fastlife]

Get your Cluster B handbook ready. I don't say this to discourage you or disparage your experience (hey, this could be a really cool, confident chick that really likes you)--but when things feel too good it's important to keep you eyes & ears open.

Again, not saying to be all paranoid. But pay attention.

 

[wifehunter]

Yes fact!!! Ladies love to throw curve balls.

Keep your wits about you! Always be ready! Never get too comfortable!

 

[old_skoolr]

Just enjoy it man.

Yeah deffs keep an eye out for red flags, but most importantly ENJOY IT.

Do what you want, whats fun for you and bring her along.

If most dudes actually started enjoying being a chick thats fun, rather then worrying which date to fvck her, people would be so much happier.

 

[Lozboss]

Enjoy it but keep your eyes open for red flags. But give her the benefit of the doubt.

You need to hit it quick and make sure you don't over invest emotionally.

 

[salinechow]

Expect the best, prepare for the worst. Enjoy it, she might just be that diamond in the rough. Or just rough. You wont know till later though so just enjoy the moments for what they are. Check back with us as you progress further with her. Could also be that's she is just rebounding. If that's the case show her a great time, get physical quick, and do not get emotional or needy or clingy. ESPECIALLY through texts or messages! This kinda girl sounds like she is going to try and rope you into lots of text exchanges. Read up on and perfect your text game. Do NOT work in her frame when it comes to text. Your head will be on a pike if you do.

 

[Desdinova]

Get your Cluster B handbook ready.

I think there's a fine line between Cluster B and just extremely high interest. I think a woman's age is very telling of which one you're dealing with. Given that she's 23 and not 33, I'd lean more toward extremely high interest. A woman's high interest when she's younger is more genuine.

Enjoy this chick, but as others have said, keep your head out of the clouds. But that goes for dating any woman.

 

[fastlife]

I think a woman's age is very telling of which one you're dealing with. Given that she's 23 and not 33, I'd lean more toward extremely high interest. A woman's high interest when she's younger is more genuine.

My ex was 19 when I met her--I attributed a lot of her enthusiasm, idealization, and emotionality to her age. Thought it was kinda sweet. Not that every interested young 20-something girl is Cluster B, but if I'd known what to look for I would've spotted it a lot quicker instead of realizing 12 months in what I was up against wasn't normal or fixable.

Very curious how this girl will present her family life/past relationships to the OP. If all those check out he's probably in the clear. But you should never use high interest as an excuse to rationalize redflags (she's only acting like that because she's sooo into me, etc).

 

[spiegel549]

With all the women I dated I never came across a broad that is as blunt and straight forward as I am until now lol. Now with that said....

So far she is doing what any interested chick would, she texts me to engage in convo. She is actually really considerate asking me what time during the day am I usually really busy at work because she doesn't want to interrupt my work LOL. I thought that was great she asked that, which I of course said I am always busy, but feel free to reach out whenever and I'll get to you when I can.

So last night (Wednesday) she asked me to dinner as her treat

Last night she asked me to dinner Saturday night and said because I paid last time she is going to pay for me as her treat. I was raised where the woman never pays as long as she deserves it (I make really good money) so it's not a big deal if I pay BUT with that said FUK it I am going to go out and let her pay. Am I right? lol.

In regards to those saying to hurry up and smash her

I have a few plates that I smash on the regular, I obviously want to smash her (and have already made a push for it) but it's not the end of the world if I don't do it right away, but I get ya.

Thoughts? I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks broos!

 

[Lozboss]

Here's a free tip: stop saying 'lol', EVER.

You're 29, not 9.

Good luck, just keep your cool and don't burn all your jet fuel in excitement.

 

[Atom Smasher]

That's right. Instead say, "Who's your Daddy?"

Just messin' with ya, Lozboss.

This situation is a tough read. She could be the real deal or this could be a quick meteoric rise and fall. This one will have to be played out in order to see which direction it goes.

 

[Desdinova]

Not that every interested young 20-something girl is Cluster B, but if I'd known what to look for I would've spotted it a lot quicker instead of realizing 12 months in what I was up against wasn't normal or fixable.

I think a lot of the guys here immediately have their guards up when a woman shows high IL because it could be a red flag. The thing is, that would set one up for continuous failure. If we're dumping all the highly interested women, then we're going to be dating the medium to low interest women.

The best thing is to watch for other red flags that accompany the high interest. If she starts talking about suicide, cutting, or demanding that he NEVER communicates with the opposite sex, then there's obviously a problem. If she's just going to be floating on the fantasy of being married with kids, then she's just being a typical woman - with high interest.

 

[Lozboss]

That's right. Instead say, "Who's your Daddy?"

Just messin' with ya, Lozboss.

This situation is a tough read. She could be the real deal or this could be a quick meteoric rise and fall. This one will have to be played out in order to see which direction it goes.

It's superfly from joecartoon- not my game!

 

[Colossus]

Man you guys are super paranoid about "cluster B's".

Also what's with this "bang her as soon as humanly possible" mantra...are y'all that insecure? So what if she flakes. She just excluded herself from your prospects. Natural selection.

I think you're reading into it. Just approach it like you would any other girl you are dating. Play it cool, don't over-invest emotionally, and have healthy skepticism.

 

[salinechow]

Man you guys are super paranoid about "cluster B's".

Ever love one? Once bitten, twice shy.

 

[El Payaso]

She's fattening you up like a cow for slaughter.

 

[Speculator E]

We had a great time, lots of Kino and kissing etc. She must of complemented how handsome I was 5 times lol....I would throw a few flirty comments back of course with out over doing it.

I can't help but to naturally feel this is fuking odd lol. She is really cute, young, killer body, hard worker, smart, and apparently thinks I am a greek god LOL..I am definitely seeing her again and so far no red flags.

I sorta find this all funny but cool at the same time lol. Thoughts?

She sounds like a potential cluster B and she lives in LA where they all migrate to. The problem with cluster B is that there is very little warning signs until deeper into the relationships. Keep your guard up OP.

 

[fastlife]

Man you guys are super paranoid about "cluster B's".

They're out there. Only reason I even mentioned it is that OP doesn't have the frame to handle it:

• "This is seriously a first for me." OP is (presumably) 29--and is surprised and "naturally feel(s) this is fuking odd lol." Red flag #1. Does that strike you as the frame of someone who would naturally have girls with "cute, young, killer bod(ies), hard work(ing), smart" throwing themselves at him--especially a girl that he didn't make a move on for 5 months? Do you think at 29 OP doesn't know what high interest from a normal girl looks like?
• "So I had a first date with her last night (Tuesday) and had A BLAST with this chick." Red flag #2. Might just be my experience, but I've never had 'A BLAST' with a normal girl on a first date that didn't involve sex. Even high interest chicks are pretty boring (to someone whose experienced that BPD high) until they warm up to you a little. They aren't able (due to boundaries and a sense of self LOL) to just throw themselves into that instant--'We've known each other our whole lives'--rapport because most people don't do that ****.
  
• "She must of complemented how handsome I was 5 times lol" Red flag #3. A normal high interest girl might compliment you to indicate interest--but it'll be a little flat. She's not gonna think you're the greatest thing ever out of the gate. She might sleep with you, she might put herself in a position to 'bump' into you, and she'll follow where you lead, she'll even text you first (usually with really boring ****); but anyone, male or female, that builds you up with overt flattery, has an agenda. I've never met a girl that gave good compliments, the type of **** I used to really want to hear, that didn't turn out to be super manipulative.
  
  And OP's lapping that **** up. He's on an obvious ego-high. He's a perfect mark. At this point (as someone recovering from narcissistic tendencies), I'll let a girl give me one compliment regarding my looks or projection ("Why are you so perfect?" etc) and I'll flat out tell her, "Look, that ****'s not (important, real, whatever). Let's be real." If she compliments me again, she's one-night stand save-every-text-the-next-morning material. As someone whose done this dance way too many times before I realized my paradigms were ****ed up, this one rule will save you all kinds of grief.
• "I am definitely seeing her again and so far no red flags." Ask about her family or exes But if she's Cluster B she'll volunteer that information (probably either right after or right before you sleep with her), but by then she's so into you, your ego's involved, and if you have the slightest hint--even a chink--of Captain-Save-a-Hoe or savior complex, you're done. I'm not condoning paranoia, I'm not condoning 'drop the chick without doing DD,' I'm not implying that every high interest girl is Cluster B; but I wish to God someone had given me something like the above (even though I wouldn't have listened to it at the time). If this sticks in anyone's head when they're involved with the absolute perfect girl (Google mirroring) at the first moment when you're like, 'Woah this ain't right' then it'll have been worthwhile.

Also what's with this "bang her as soon as humanly possible" mantra...are y'all that insecure? So what if she flakes. She just excluded herself from your prospects. Natural selection.

You're married, right? To a virgin? 34 y/o. Possibly (probably) not based in America--but you might be. Things have changed a ton in the SMP. It has way more to do with practicality than insecurity. I don't keep spreadsheets but, as someone who doesn't project any provider cues, if I don't sleep with a girl on the first night I meet her there's at least a 50% percent chance I never see her again; of those I don't sleep with on a Day 2 there's a 75% chance I never see them again. Of girls I sleep with, there's a 100% chance I sleep with them again (if they're local or close enough).

I might just have really sucky game, but I doubt it. I think they just have tons of options and a low attention span and are looking for guys who make sex happen. Strictly deal with girls younger than me (ideally under 21); I'm sure in their 30's they'll be willing to take their time and expect you to wine and dine 'em. But in my demographic, unless she's at your school or in your social circle, sleeping with a girl the first night you meet her is the only reasonable chance you have of ever seeing them again.

 

[Colossus]

You're married, right? To a virgin? 34 y/o. Possibly (probably) not based in America--but you might be. Things have changed a ton in the SMP. It has way more to do with practicality than insecurity. I don't keep spreadsheets but, as someone who doesn't project any provider cues, if I don't sleep with a girl on the first night I meet her there's at least a 50% percent chance I never see her again; of those I don't sleep with on a Day 2 there's a 75% chance I never see them again. Of girls I sleep with, there's a 100% chance I sleep with them again (if they're local or close enough).

I might just have really sucky game, but I doubt it. I think they just have tons of options and a low attention span and are looking for guys who make sex happen. Strictly deal with girls younger than me (ideally under 21); I'm sure in their 30's they'll be willing to take their time and expect you to wine and dine 'em. But in my demographic, unless she's at your school or in your social circle, sleeping with a girl the first night you meet her is the only reasonable chance you have of ever seeing them again.

Yes and yes, but I do live in that states and have my whole life.This isn't my first rodeo. I don't think you are describing anything new and I think much of this is a function of the age range you speak of. Girls that young have always been flakes, and I suspect even more so today with their cell phone-level intellect and social media saturation. There are too many things competing for their attention.

So I don't think you are wrong, it just comes with the territory. Girls that young just wanna party and have fun. SMV doesn't quite factor in as prominently as it would if you were going after girls 25+. Above the 25 barrier, your (relative) SMV will play a much bigger role. Girls 22 and under are so fickle you probably DO need to sleep with them right away if you want to see them again (unless you are very good looking, an athlete, etc), but my contention is that it's a waste of your time and sanity. I dont know how old you are, but you'll get a better ROI on girls in their mid-twenties, and they can be just as hot. Again, though, this will be a factor of your overall game of course, and relative SMV.

Every single guy has a market share and should try to operate within that market share. And if you don't like your market share, improve it. But over the years I've learned why guys get frustrated with girls:

-They are chasing girls outside of their market share
-They are obsessing over girls who are too hot (yes too hot). 8+ is typically a poor ROI, with the rare exception.
-They are trying to make a <22 year old their girlfriend
-They have no clear objectives, and thus plan to fail.

One of the reasons I got laid a lot in my mid-20's was that I operated within my market share, and I played my strengths. When I deviated from this, I usually got burned. From 26-28 I was seeing an average of 2 new girls a month, and I wasnt going out sarging either. This was all OLD and chance encounters. I focused on girls who were 6.5 - 8.0, (mostly 7's), slightly younger than me, and I played mostly handsome guy game and used my way with words.

Always remember that girls and women alike are most attracted to someone who is slightly better than them, in some way. The older you get the easier this gets, as long as you improve yourself.