girl always pissed off at me, how do i change the situation?

[warpy]

hey,

there is this girl i am going to class with, its a small 8 people class. at first we hit it off nicely we were friends, but lately everytime i make a joke, i usually joke about the female kind so is probably taking it all too personally, although no joke is at being directed at her, so everytime i make a joke she makes a face and acts up angry.

since i care about the people in my class i wanted to make amends somehow, i talked to her a week ago and told her that i realy like her as a friend and i dont know why she acts up like that, i tried being friendly to her.even talked to her a few times this week, it kind of worked nicely until today. we are a few guys in class and we always joke around, today was the day it hit me that she doesnt realy like the joking around part, but we are more guys than girls there and some of the girls even find those remarks amusing. i dont realy believe that its just about that, in my opinion there is something else behind this.

what i want to do is one of two things, one of them is to turn the tables on her, i dont like the fact she is making all of those uncomfortable faces and acts up, so either make her a good friend, the other is get her in the sack.

i know some of you guys would say just ignore her, but this class is not something i am going to quit for atleat a year, there are very few people there and the atmosphere should be fun and non casual.

i am looking for some advice on how to approach this?

thanks in advance,

 

[flexion_]

Maybe use jokes that don't pick on women? Or better yet stop with the jokes altogether and just be a fun person to be around.

 

[warpy]

exp.. probably right but i want to turn that situation from hate to .. positive something

flexion, its not that bad, she has a short fuse and needs a lot of attention. i just need to figure out how to use it to my advantage.

 

[DJDamage]

i talked to her a week ago and told her that i realy like her as a friend and i dont know why she acts up like that, i tried being friendly to her.

Bad move.

You will neither get friendship or sex with this kind of honest guilt trip.

 

[resilient]

She probably has a lot more going on with herself beyond your insults. LSE, drama queen, not being happy with herself, the usual. She should be avoided in your heart matters, so be short and blunt with her. That's the best way to protect yourself from her emotional rollercoaster.

If she doesn't take your genuine approaches to being friendly and opens up to you... than you have other 7 people to talk to. Eventually, she'll take the hint and improve her attitude if she wants to get along with the others.

I've learned to ignore these women like the plague these days, as they are never happy things are going well in the relationship and nothing seems to cheer them up very long.

 

[spread_love]

No offence Warpy but this is the Mature Man section...you sound young, I honestly wouldn't worry about her, it's her problem not yours...move on friend.

 

[warpy]

spreadlove, 7 posts and you are quick to judge my age... not realy happening, i am 27 my friend.

@all, kind of figured this will be a "ignore her and move on", this is definitely a good tactic but i realy thought there would be something else to do, something inspirational, something genius and unheard of.

thanks for the advice so far.

 

[Hitman10000]

Man up, seriously.

1. She is not a chick you are dating
2. She is a chick you are probably interested in

 

[warpy]

hehe will do hitman, i can see where this thread is going
but she did come with a tubetop the otherday and she does have some big biguns..

 

[spread_love]

spreadlove, 7 posts and you are quick to judge my age... not realy happening, i am 27 my friend.

@all, kind of figured this will be a "ignore her and move on", this is definitely a good tactic but i realy thought there would be something else to do, something inspirational, something genius and unheard of.

thanks for the advice so far.

I did say no offence so....I only thought that because you mentioned class...my bad.

 

[Wyldfire]

As a woman I can tell you that if a man is constantly ragging on women (even if they intend to be funny or joking around) it leaves a bad impression. If the comments are extremely negative the woman will peg you as a guy who simply can't stand women. If they are whiny sounding the woman will peg you as a bit of a biotch. The only guys who can really get away with poking fun at women around a woman are the ones who can do it by sounding like they think when women do something silly it's "cute" or doesn't get to them.

My guess is that you really turned this girl off to the point where she has an attitude towards you. I don't see you getting past that with her and frankly it'd be a waste of time and energy to try. Just try to show you sense of humor in other ways at least as often as you do commenting about women.

 

[warpy]

spread love, we are students for life

wyldfire, cant realy say i agree with everything you said but can you please elaborate more on the subject. i'd love to to hear what else do you think .. if you have any more thoughts.

"My guess is that you really turned this girl off to the point where she has an attitude towards you. I don't see you getting past that with her and frankly it'd be a waste of time and energy to try. Just try to show you sense of humor in other ways at least as often as you do commenting about women."

-- possibly true, but i would say she is moody enough to swing either way when she feels like it.

 

[decades]

you obviously have designs on this woman that go beyond friendship. Its quite clear. So I would GET TO IT. Make it clear to her that these are your intentions. But as this point, you are in her friend's "zone" and you are not even faring very well there as she is annoyed with you. If you want her as more than a friend (and its clear you do) then make a move. If it flames out, then move on. This sounds like a very annoying relationship for both of you. Finally, what is the purpose of this humor? Be clear about exactly you wish to accomplish with this humor and don't overuse it. And don't use humor at the expense of other people, especially women.

regards

 

[warpy]

persistent, maybe some intentions.. dont realy know. at this point i should give some examples to these "jokes", its a drawing class so we talk about nudes from time to time, there was a conversation about how the teacher got his old nude, she was a girl he found in the mall. so some girl said if a guy would come up to her and ask her to be nude she would be very angry, i said a lot of girls that i know actually would consider that as a compliment. then there was this talk about how much money a girl should get for being in her underwear as a nude, from 5$-15$/h. etc etc..

that kind of stuff that was originally started by the teacher speaking about it gets her mad.

cant think of more examples at this point but if i do i'll write them down.

"But as this point, you are in her friend's "zone" and you are not even faring very well there as she is annoyed with you"

-- definitely, what kind of move should i make ? ask her out, jump her bones ? tease her ? thats the kind of advice i am actually looking for.

 

[Wyldfire]

warpy, it really doesn't matter what I think or what anyone else thinks. Trying to get someone to like you who has shown that they really don't are a waste of your time. In fact, the only way you're likely to resolve this the way you want to is if you stop trying to make her like you...the more you try the more you care. Stop caring whether or not she likes you.

At the same time...try to get yourself out of the habit of using women as the main subject of your humor unless it's playfully and applies to the situation.

 

[warpy]

it always applies to the situation. i guess i'll drop the subject for now. seems like the best bet, but i'll update if something is up

 

[Latinoman]

Small class should be “fun”. But it is still a classroom...not a locker room.

I understand ONE man joking about "women" in an environment that is predominately female (e.g. yoga class or cooking class or dancing class). But an environment that is predominately male? No cool. I personally find it VERY distastefull too. But that's me.


How would you feel if you were one of a handful of men in a classroom, where women are constantly making fun of men (belittle men)? After a while, it gets old. Heck, how would you feel if you were a minority (could be white in a black classroom) and have to listen to people joking about your race? After a while it gets tiresome. A joke here and there...could be fun. After that, it becomes a form to belittle a person.

IMO, you have one of four choices:

1- Go to your class and act like if you were in a professional environment
2- Go to your class and joke in such a fashion that make the men laugh.
3- Go to your class and “joke” (funny/charm) in such a fashion that make the women giggle/laugh
4- Go to your class and make EVERYBODY laugh.

#1 won’t offend anyone if you know how to apply some skills. In fact, you can be FUN if you are cool. Some people might still don’t like you…but most will (and more importantly, from both sexes).

#2 might (and is) offend(ing) some women. Besides, acting like you are in a locker room (in a male predominately class) does not make you cool.


#3 might make some of the MEN won’t like you (due to envy).

#4 might make you the class clown. Do you want to be a clown?

Depending of what I want (considering the venue), I would personally choose #1 (people tend to like me due to this) or #3 (if I am interested in investing on a possible laid).

Concerning that woman…

Do you want a “friendship” with her or do you want to get laid? Choose one. And focus on only one.

 

[Latinoman]

warpy, it really doesn't matter what I think or what anyone else thinks. Trying to get someone to like you who has shown that they really don't are a waste of your time. In fact, the only way you're likely to resolve this the way you want to is if you stop trying to make her like you...the more you try the more you care. Stop caring whether or not she likes you.

At the same time...try to get yourself out of the habit of using women as the main subject of your humor unless it's playfully and applies to the situation.

This is actually a very good post and advice.

 

[Vulpine]

From what I can smell of the situation, she's irritated with you not because of your jokes specifically, but because you've flirted, attracted, maybe elevated... then nothing.

I personally believe that she's thinking you are a "limp noodle" or a "cold fish". You've teased her, set her up, had her interested but haven't made a move. The longer you wait to "pull the trigger", the less of a chance you will have when you finally do.

You're all bark and no bite. You're all show and no go. That wishy-washy stuff irritates women, at least, puts them off. The poster that said "Man up" is right on. Grow a pair dude. If she shuts you down, blah, ignore her - maybe she'll chase you afterwards.

 

[warpy]

@latino, its a very informal art class at my teacher's house, one room up to 8 people.

@vulpine, good advice. as i see it right now, its just what i am going to do, give her the not so nice version of me if she acts up. we'll see how things go tomorrow