Girk proposes open marriage

[Leporello]

Sorry about the typo in the headline (I'm writing on an iPhone). Obviously it should be 'girl'

So the girl I've been seeing for the past year suggested that we get Married and spend the rest of our lives traveling the work together. Here's the thing; she said she'd 'stay out of my way' when it came to other girls, and as we haven't been exclusive with each other I don't expect her to start being faithful either.

Obviously there are risks. Either of us could fall in love with one of our other partners. We'd have to be super-careful a out pregnancy and STDs. We'd have to be discreet. We'd have to let go of jealousy issues.

But...don't most of those issues come up in marriage anyway? This way I get what I want in terms of a home life and children, without the stress of 'keeping the spark lit' or regretting girls I can't pursue.

Maybe I'm naive to think this can work, but I'm excited to give it a try.

 

[betheman]

you dont need to get married to do that sh!t! has to be one of the craziest ideas Ive heard. what the hell is the benefit of getting married?

 

[TheMale]

you dont need to get married to do that sh!t! has to be one of the craziest ideas Ive heard. what the hell is the benefit of getting married?

raising your child properly ?!

 

[betheman]

raising your child properly ?!

I meant in this situation, btw, you dont need to be married to raise a child properly

 

[bigneil]

Come on betheman, think of the children!

 

[TheMale]

not really sure about it betherman.

hypothetical situation: imagine you having a little argument she leaves you, taking the child.
now if you're married she can't, there's a lot of step you need to go through to decide where the kid will be, and just thinking about these procedure making the divorce difference than the breakup.

i think the reason why there's less divorce than break up is the divorce rocedure.
and i know some couple who are still together for that reason !

 

[exile663dfx]

This is easily the most absurd thing I have heard, if you go through this you will FAIL. You say you want to be careful not to fall in love. You cant control someone elses emotions and this is by far the worst thing for your children.

Absurd. my .02

 

[Love's Orphan]

Open relationships... I dont think they exist... Ill say keep things the way they are now. You want to raise a kid under the acceptable views of society, then get married.

 

[Love's Orphan]

Open relationships... I dont think they exist... Ill say keep things the way they are now. You want to raise a kid under the acceptable views of society, then get married.

 

[SBW]

Almost, if not every time I've heard or known of a proposal of an "Open Marriage" or similar, the relationship concerned has been on its last legs, or had never really been a relationship to begin with. IME it seems to be a shorthand for one partner wanting keep the other around till they finally decide to move over to someone else - who is very likely to be in the picture already.

So if this is not what you want, get out, get out soon and don't look back.

BTW, I know some folk do manage truly polyamorous relationships but it ain't many and they seem to find other ways of establishing it without asking this particular question in this way.

 

[tomato]

Sorry about the typo in the headline (I'm writing on an iPhone). Obviously it should be 'girl'

So the girl I've been seeing for the past year suggested that we get Married and spend the rest of our lives traveling the work together. Here's the thing; she said she'd 'stay out of my way' when it came to other girls, and as we haven't been exclusive with each other I don't expect her to start being faithful either.

Obviously there are risks. Either of us could fall in love with one of our other partners. We'd have to be super-careful a out pregnancy and STDs. We'd have to be discreet. We'd have to let go of jealousy issues.

But...don't most of those issues come up in marriage anyway? This way I get what I want in terms of a home life and children, without the stress of 'keeping the spark lit' or regretting girls I can't pursue.

Maybe I'm naive to think this can work, but I'm excited to give it a try.

I think you should play along - become more awesome - casually be seen with hotter girls (just as friends) and after a while of acting cool SHE will want to become exclusive - really the only option you have.

 

[EvilAgenda]

1) She suggested open marriage. She said she'd 'stay out of my way' when it came to other girls, and as we haven't been exclusive with each other I don't expect her to start being faithful either.

2) I'm excited to give it a try.

You two are a perfect match.

 

[zekko]

Yeah, this sounds like a horrible idea. Why would she propose such a thing? Because she wants to keep on wh0ring herself out while using you for provision and stability. Sounds like that's just what you're looking for, though.

 

[Zarky]

OP you are way too young and (no offense) immature to be getting married or having children. Same for her.

 

[perseverance]

If this girl isn't off her mammary glands on amphetamine then I don't know what she's on, but she sounds cuckoo.