Ghosted on the 2nd Date!

[Mazer]

It happened. First time for everything. Had a first date a week ago with a HB8 that was a few years younger than me. Had a nice dinner and drinks at 2 venues. Good convo, pretty solid date. Before dropping her off at her car we had some real passionate kissing and felt her up with no hesitation on her part.

During the week she showed plenty of interest and was asking me when we could go out again. She initiated 80% of the texts.

So I scheduled a 2nd date to go dancing. Due to logistics, we decided it was easier to meet each other there. I noticed her vibe was off from the very start. She was on edge, barely looked at me, no smiling, complained about being tired and even mentioned about 20minutes into it that she might have to leave early because she was tired. Definitely not acting like the girl I met on the 1st date.

At the start of our date, I did introduce her to this HB9 bartender that gets me in for free and always remembers what I drink. Not sure if that sealed my fate or what. If it did then I am thankful, because she must be super insecure and highly jealous. She did tell me her exhusband was a sex addict and had 10 girlfriends, maybe she has some flashback!!!

After 1.5hr, we finished a dance and she says she has to go to the bathroom. My gut told me something was up. Well her not so sweet ass never came back! I knew I should have hid out by the bathroom so I could bust her balls when she bailed, but I didn't.

She blocked me immediately and deleted me from bumble like a damn pro.

I suspect there was another guy in the picture. There was nothing I did wrong.

What a pathetic way to handle a situation. I thank her for not wasting any more of my time and making it very clear she was no longer interested! If there was a website for chics that pull this schitt, I would make sure she was on it.

I always recommend scheduling dates on your terms, your location, not spending much, and making sure the venue is closer to your place than hers because you never know what these shady biatches are going to pull. Stay tough fella's, its a tough scene out there at times.

Damn, that’s rough. Bishes be savages these days. Dinner on a first date?! You know better than that my friend. Maybe she saw someone she knew at the place and scrambled. I also think the “I’m tired” line on a date or “I might have to leave early” is a dead giveaway that her interest is sinking faster than the titanic.

I always pick a place I enjoy for dates. It also tests for compliance, see how far she is willing to travel for you. How much she is willing to invest. I have had some women ask me if I can change the venue closer to their place, I can almost smell the scent of low interest. I tell them sure, I’ll meet you at your place, doesn’t get any closer than that, no facks given because I know her interest level is low.

 

[The Duke]

Damn, that’s rough. Bishes be savages these days. Dinner on a first date?! You know better than that my friend. Maybe she saw someone she knew at the place and scrambled. I also think the “I’m tired” line on a date or “I might have to leave early” is a dead giveaway that her interest is sinking faster than the titanic.

I always pick a place I enjoy for dates. It also tests for compliance, see how far she is willing to travel for you. How much she is willing to invest. I have had some women ask me if I can change the venue closer to their place, I can almost smell the scent of low interest. I tell them sure, I’ll meet you at your place, doesn’t get any closer than that, no facks given because I know her interest level is low.

for sure, It was a big country dance bar that I frequent often, one of my favorite places because i always have a good time and its packed with hotties. I didn't waste any time finding girls to dance with after my date went to schitt!

 

[sazc]

Quick, list 5 reasons why she would have bailed and make them reasons that only have to do with you, not her, not "she was tired"

High interest females will stick by their date even if they are tired OR they will suggest a quiet cozy date, to spend time with you but not be overwhelmed.

I'm not asking this to try and put the blame back on you/poke at your ego, more so because readers might learn something (what not to do) by your experience.

I also fully believe that somewhere in your reasons for why she left, reasons that are not "only" her fault, is the truth.

 

[The Duke]

Quick, list 5 reasons why she would have bailed and make them reasons that only have to do with you, not her, not "she was tired"

Her body language being closed off from the start tells me it didn't have anything to do with me. She also had a drink before I got there, then only wanted water once I arrived.

But throwing all of that aside, the only thing that might have caused this issue on my end was the fact that the HB9 bartender knew me, gets me in for free, and never forgets what I drink. Maybe she assumed that we dated or had something going on and got insecure about it. That would be the only thing. I've been in situations before where my date picked up on another female that had an interest in me, typically I just get questioned about it. Women have some talent keying in on those things! And the only ones they perceive as a threat are as attractive or more attractive than they are.

 

[Von]

Her body language being closed off from the start tells me it didn't have anything to do with me. She also had a drink before I got there, then only wanted water once I arrived.

But throwing all of that aside, the only thing that might have caused this issue on my end was the fact that the HB9 bartender knew me, gets me in for free, and never forgets what I drink. Maybe she assumed that we dated or had something going on and got insecure about it. That would be the only thing. I've been in situations before where my date picked up on another female that had an interest in me, typically I just get questioned about it. Women have some talent keying in on those things! And the only ones they perceive as a threat are as attractive or more attractive than they are.

My 2 Cent.

You are a 1% man....

It's mathematical... the probabilities of perfection are nul... You have 99% chances of success with 1 % errors (Neo, The Matrix Movie, was the 1% error of the Matrix system).... In short, on 100 dates, you are bound to have 1 that flake. It's normal. Congrats... our DJ lifestyle is to increase that success ratio to optimun level.

Now, it's what you do with the 1% that shape your futur success..... Learn, Adapt, Let Go (don't dwell on it)

You doing that.

To the Girl topic:
1) She did a CrossFit competition the same day
2) You are at 2nd Date
3) She's been up all day at high intensity
4) We know she's recent on the market (new single if you want... 6 months to 1 year counts)
5) she had a history of ''male abuses'' (See TigerWood sexual scandal) in the sexual realm

All these factors: I am amazed she showed up at the date! (shows you had value and she wanted something fun and different at night)

My take:
1) She was exhausted
2) At 2nd date, she's not ''convinced'' or ''Still on the fence'' for future Plate/ONS/LTR
3) A interested girl will do anything to please (even showup while exhausted... their energy fluctuate on emotional ground more than male)
4) She's still not over her ex, nor the ''sexual scandal'' she suffered due to him... (Makes you wonder her taste in partner or why he cheated)
5) Her Ex.... had 10 partners including her.... See Tiger Wood... That a sign of High Sexual Energy or Alot of Testoterone to Unleash.

Trivia: Do you know that the Olympic Games (The Sport Event) during the Winter and Summer Olympics, the Condom compagnies (Durex) gives around 300 000 free condoms.... and they often have to resupply due to ''over usage of condoms''
Why? The Athletes bang like Rabbits during the Olympics.
Reason: Their Diet, Their Training Regiment, The Adrenaline Rush, Social Context (they likely alone and deprived for months to years at a time, now they have a Once in a LifeTime moment)

My Result: She wanted to BANG!.... She likely was on a High Adrenaline due to her preparations to the FitNess Competition and change of diet (driving her T and adrenaline to a maximun).... The Barmaid who's HB9 intimitated her (due to point 5... about her ex partner) and your date doesn't know you well enough to ''screen the barmaid has a safe friend-zone'.... She was horny and insecure, that's my bet.

Her ex-boyfriend likely cheated on her due to ''steroids'' intake.... You know what Steroids do to a Man? Destroy his D while exploding his Sexual Drive. TigerWoods was taking Steroids... that's why he needed to bang all the time, that's why he never had ''back'' issues in his prime. These ''steroids + painkillers'' are what boost athletes to ''super-perform'' at the cost of ''their overall health and massive sex drive''.

In short story: Her Ex was probably taking drugs (cause he must be a healthfreak too), she was horny due to her training regime before competition, she was exhausted due to the Fitness Competition (and all day stuff), she got insecure due to her past and your ''short dating history aka 2nd Date''.... also athletes/health freak often don't like alcohol (she had 1 drink before) and she's competitive by nature (ahtele, women, cute = competitiveness)

Short Answer: She sought you to lead her to a Fun Night followed by a Lay.... I think that's where you could have done better... go for the quick night out, relax diner at her place (cook for her, possibly) and lay.
PS: For Athlete and Competitive people, time is vital... they don't like to waste time and pretty egoist about it... so going deep while the iron is hot is allowed. The Frame is her frame that counts and it's for you to submit in ''performing way'' to that frame (Her wanting you to bang her now)

You'll probably never heard from her again or she'll give you a 2nd chance soon (but it will be a slow one). Just Next... respect yourself

Thanks for the reading

 

[RangerMIke]

I suspect there was another guy in the picture. There was nothing I did wrong.

Yep... your suspicions are correct. This happens to me frequently and it is usually another dude. Most recently last month. What I learned was that her old BF was back in the picture. You did nothing wrong. Just walk away and look for another. No reason to get butt hurt over this, it's normal chick behavior.

 

[AttackFormation]

Yep... your suspicions are correct. This happens to me frequently and it is usually another dude. Most recently last month. What I learned was that her old BF was back in the picture. You did nothing wrong. Just walk away and look for another. No reason to get butt hurt over this, it's normal chick behavior.

What kind of guy is her old BF, and who is she?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Two points....

-We often talk about personal standards here and what behaviors we abide and those we don't on a level of individual tolerance. From my personal point of view, leaving your date without even saying goodbye is the height of rudeness, regardless of the situation. Maybe if you had spent the evening ignoring her, talking to others her actions may have been valid, but it doesn't sound like it was warranted.

-Probably she does have some hang ups about her ex, and therefore competition from other women. Different women will react in two different ways to competition, or the suggestion of competition. Those who are content, with healthy self esteem will rise to the challenge. Those who feel threatened will invariably react accordingly. I've had a girl recently criticise me for looking at the TV screen, rather than her, while talking to her. She turned out to be a liability anyway, but people do have differing standards/expectations, so whatever.

Would definitely call a day on this one, especially given her behaviour and past. She's already projecting on to you after 2 (1.5) dates. I wouldn't be surprised if she got back in touch in a sheepish way. But regardless, the lack common courtesy is a huge red flag for me personally.

 

[RangerMIke]

What kind of guy is her old BF, and who is she?

Chick: Just turned 30, she is an educator currently working for an alternative non-profit after school program which is actually pretty effective. I've seen her working with kids and she is actually VERY good at what she does. She is very fit, nice body (she is into cross-training and kick-boxing which is how we met)... face is 6-7, cute but far from a knock-out. Great personality, loves a lot of things most guys are into (construction, building things, good sense of humor), she is into fantasy type stuff (LOR, GoT) owns dogs... Really into music of all kinds. Other than that never really got a chance to know her better since she went Casper on me. I suspect that some of her friends might have been making comments about our age difference, or maybe she's looking for a sugar daddy, and her friends told her I'm not the 'sugar-daddy' type... whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. You can't control what other people do, all you can do is control how you respond... my response is always I do not care and I just keep on my path.

BF: I do know him through a non-profit that I've done work with. Hard to say what his job is... he was a special needs teacher, but he only started doing that a year ago. Prior to that, he was a drummer in a local band which was/is actually pretty good. He's a nice enough guy I suppose close to her age. During one of our dates she told me that things didn't work out because he still had growing up to do.

My guess is that he's trying to change for her so she's giving him a shot. This of course is doomed... because as soon as you change for her she loses attraction for you. But since she broke thing off, using as an excuse, that he 'won't grow up', she feel obligated to give him chance... which really doesn't exist. They had been dating for about 6 years, and actually lived together for a time... so this is a long time with significant emotional connections. In situations like this it is VERY normal for a chick to float back and forth to a BF they've been with for awhile. She might come around, but I'm not going to hang around and wait for this... she knows how to reach me if she's interested and after this latest attempt to work things out with her ex. But this thing will happen if you date a lot i's just the way things are no reason to get upset about it anymore than when a nice day turns rainy.

 

[Glassguy]

as soon as you change for her she loses attraction for you

I'm not going to hang around and wait for this... she knows how to reach me if she's interested

Simple, yet very much to be learned from these 2 things that I quoted from his post. If more guys understood this, they would be leading multiple women rather than chasing only one.