Ghosted by ex I though was special

LM98

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Hi, this is my first post in here. I just wanted to tell you about me (M 24) and my ex (F 20) and maybe get some advice. We dated for about a year and we broke up because she moved away from uni last summer (9 months ago). I was a virgin before seeing her. Our relationship was very sexual (we didn’t have much in common but sex) and she always wanted me. I’d never felt as wanted before, especially from someone this attractive and fell in love with her almost immediately. In hindsight I was making a lot of beta moves and she was basically my only source of happiness and I would always feel empty when she left for work in the mornings. When dating and even after breaking up I thought she was special and that our “special bond” would last forever. We kept sleeping with each other on holidays and texted and FTed each other frequently after we broke up.

But about 2 months ago she cancelled seeing me and confessed that she was finally over me. In my mind this came out of the blue as the weeks leading up to this we’d been texting and flirting more than usual. Then she just completely stopped texting me and liking my Instagram posts altogether. She texted me happy birthday a couple of weeks later and but was very blunt and unresponsive when I was trying to make conversation. I tried “catching up” with her a couple more times and just recently she just left me on read. It was like a switch in her head suddenly got pulled.

My entire perception about women has just changed completely. How can a woman go from “you are my everything”, I’m gonna love you forever to ghosting me? Has anyone else experienced something similar?
 

mrgoodstuff

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Hi, this is my first post in here. I just wanted to tell you about me (M 24) and my ex (F 20) and maybe get some advice. We dated for about a year and we broke up because she moved away from uni last summer (9 months ago). I was a virgin before seeing her. Our relationship was very sexual (we didn’t have much in common but sex) and she always wanted me. I’d never felt as wanted before, especially from someone this attractive and fell in love with her almost immediately. In hindsight I was making a lot of beta moves and she was basically my only source of happiness and I would always feel empty when she left for work in the mornings. When dating and even after breaking up I thought she was special and that our “special bond” would last forever. We kept sleeping with each other on holidays and texted and FTed each other frequently after we broke up.

But about 2 months ago she cancelled seeing me and confessed that she was finally over me. In my mind this came out of the blue as the weeks leading up to this we’d been texting and flirting more than usual. Then she just completely stopped texting me and liking my Instagram posts altogether. She texted me happy birthday a couple of weeks later and but was very blunt and unresponsive when I was trying to make conversation. I tried “catching up” with her a couple more times and just recently she just left me on read. It was like a switch in her head suddenly got pulled.

My entire perception about women has just changed completely. How can a woman go from “you are my everything”, I’m gonna love you forever to ghosting me? Has anyone else experienced something similar?
Stop. Don't seek the answers to those questions. Have fun, take care of business and find some new ladies for that.

BTW everyone here has faced that and focusing on it or trying to figure it out is a fail.
 

SoSuave666

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I’m glad for you this happened at such a young age rather than age 60, going through a horrific divorce-rape situation, with no time left to live your life.

read through the forum, your answers are here. Your story is not unique
 

Atom Smasher

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You’ve both been holding on for dear life to a familiar safety net. She finally gained enough strength to break free (and it probably involves another guy).

Welcome to our club. We’ve all been there where you are. Stick around here and read and put into practice. There’s a lot of gold here if you are willing to find it.
 

Stuffnu

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Welcome.
You placed her so far up a pedestal, you can’t see her feet.
Your first is always going to be the toughest.
Accept that she has moved on and will periodically feed you breadcrumbs to see if you’re still groveling over her. (which you are)
I would recommend you read the “No Contact” posts and cut her out completely. Keep in mind, this is for you to help recover…
You’re young and there’s plenty of fish out there. Go get the next one!
 

Dr.Suave

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Women can tell you that you are the best thing thats ever happened to her one day and break up with you the next. I learned it the hard way and it looks like you are learning something similar too. Next time be mentally prepared that things can suddenly end any given day and just enjoy the ride (sex) while it lasts
 

RangerMIke

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Realize there was NOTHING you could have done about this... acting more 'alpha' or being too 'beta' doesn't matter. Your time on the ride was up. That is all you need to know. Too many dudes with little experience with women will agonize over what they might have done different.... this leads to obsession and prolongs the time to get over this.

The internet is FILLED with dating and relationship coaches trying to sell you on the idea that you can get her back... DO NOT FALL FOR THAT CR@P. You are done, move on, don't think about her... it's not easy to put her out of your mind, but you must do this. Like the late great Doc Love once said, "You get one chance, per women, per lifetime." When you time on the ride is over, get off and let the next dude have his turn... you go find another ride.

Another thing, long distance dating relationships seldom work out, when she moved away you should have just ripped off the Band-Aid and ended it. The only LDR I've seen that 'worked' (if you want to call in working) is when the dude is spending sh1t loads of money on plane tickets and trips he can take the woman on.
 

oldmanofthesea

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Sorry my friend. As others have said, this kind of thing happens to us all and is actually a blessing in disguise because it serves as the kick in your a$$ that you need to discover red pill and learn about how things really are.

I guarantee you she found another man. LDRs don't work.

For where you are right now, the best thing you could do is read Rollo Tomassi's The Rational Male. It will really help you understand the way women think and why the do what they do, and as a result, you will stop looking at women the same way, and this is a good thing.

What you should work on in-order is:
1. Understanding women's true nature, and what they can and can't do for you. How they operate, what they really want vs what they say they want. You have been brainwashed like the rest of us through social conditioning, and the understanding you have now about women and relationships is wrong. Reading The Rational Male will correct a lot of that understanding.
2. Learn how to operate with women in a way that will get you abundance with them (aka "game"). Once you have abundance with women, you will not suffer much heartbreak, if any. If you wrecked your car and knew it would be 12+ months before you could get another, you'd probably be a lot more upset than if you knew you'd be driving a new car within 7 days. Same with women. There is much info here in the "DJ Bible" on this. Other sources include Doc Love and Corey Wayne (he has a book and a youtube channel). Some folks here don't like Wayne but I still feel he is a great resource for people who are just starting out in their journey because his topic coverage is pretty complete and it's available for free. You will outgrow some of his advice eventually but again, for just starting out, it's a good resource.
 

AureliusMaximus

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Ghosted by ex I though was special
Here we go a again..
Imma just gonna quote the old saying:
Dude she was never yours, it was just your turn.

You´re never "the special one" when it comes to chicks. You're just the next d|ick in the line, in her hybergamy advance to the next one in the sausage carousel and once she finds one that she thinks she do better with she will monkey branch to that guy instead.
(Just watch to 00:57 where the girl is talking..)
 
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Modern Man Advice

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Hi, this is my first post in here. I just wanted to tell you about me (M 24) and my ex (F 20) and maybe get some advice. We dated for about a year and we broke up because she moved away from uni last summer (9 months ago). I was a virgin before seeing her. Our relationship was very sexual (we didn’t have much in common but sex) and she always wanted me. I’d never felt as wanted before, especially from someone this attractive and fell in love with her almost immediately. In hindsight I was making a lot of beta moves and she was basically my only source of happiness and I would always feel empty when she left for work in the mornings. When dating and even after breaking up I thought she was special and that our “special bond” would last forever. We kept sleeping with each other on holidays and texted and FTed each other frequently after we broke up.

But about 2 months ago she cancelled seeing me and confessed that she was finally over me. In my mind this came out of the blue as the weeks leading up to this we’d been texting and flirting more than usual. Then she just completely stopped texting me and liking my Instagram posts altogether. She texted me happy birthday a couple of weeks later and but was very blunt and unresponsive when I was trying to make conversation. I tried “catching up” with her a couple more times and just recently she just left me on read. It was like a switch in her head suddenly got pulled.

My entire perception about women has just changed completely. How can a woman go from “you are my everything”, I’m gonna love you forever to ghosting me? Has anyone else experienced something similar?
You have much to learn. But start by reading previous threads about this. This only comes as a surprise to you, but not to any of us. You are 24 so you are still a kid with a lot to experience and room for growth.

No point in explaining what might have been going through her head and what lead to this. What matters is that you shouldn't be spending any mental capacity on this and should move on.


Modern Man Advice
 
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You need to understand that this didn’t come out of the blue and that you ignored several red flags. Everyone gets owned by this, so it’s nothing bad but just be more aware next time.
 

derby1

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you need to cease all contact , no stalking, no messages, no hint dropping beta status's on social media.

you are literally gonna vanish.

she will message you dont worry, its just to check you still desire her to feed her own ego.. she couldnt care less about you.
this will restore equilibrium in your dopamine receptors after 3 months, of no contact.

you must go straight out and meet other women, so she loses value in your mind. because you currently have "shes the one disease"
 

jimwho

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Man OP, I wish I had this advice years ago! Watch (Powerquest's) video TWICE.. I have nothing to add.
These guys all nailed it. Do not deviate.
 

IKO69

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Sorry brother, that's something that all of us go through at some point. I have had it happen to me a couple of times. There have been times where it completely caught me out of the blue and there were times where I felt something was up but tried to "fix it" to no avail. Those were the worst. You think you can do something to remedy the situation but you really can't. I have had girlfriends were things were clearly bad for a time, just completely obvious, but upon confronting her about it to find out if something was wrong I would be told I was imagining it or she'd just dismiss the matter entirely. I knew something was up and sure enough after a while I would get dumped and realize she was lying the whole time. You wonder why, considering you did so much for the person and then any further attempts of contact are met with more lies, you get ignored, she talks bad about you, the "friends" you made through her suddenly give you the cold shoulder and ignore you. That's the thank you that you get.

It's not really worth it to think about because I have realized when it gets to that point there is really nothing you could've done to change her mind. Some women for whatever reason can absolutely turn on a dime - you could've been the best thing that happened to her and she can't careless for anything that you did for her - in her eyes it means little and you are the worst person in the world.

These situations have made me realize that men are often the one's with much bigger hearts. Men get shamed and told they are this and that but women are the one's that turn ice cold and completely dismiss a person as if he is the scum of the earth. For what it is worth i've also realized that people like this, (while it hurts-I understand you invested so much) aren't really great people. It's hard to see at first but good people don't behave this way. It's happened to me enough to know women can be this way (and what you are telling me isn't surprising because i've experienced a lot of what you wrote) but I have also had relationships where the woman was upfront believe it or not and I respected her for it.

Most likely the only reason it continued for a couple of months and she didn't outright end it is because she hadn't secured the replacement yet. I've had a girlfriend dump me before and then I found out about 2 months later she was on an overseas vacation with some guy. Women absolutely do **** like this. Best thing you can do is ultimately forget her and move on. She's probably some idiot like I said that isn't that great in reality and will one day make poor choice after poor choice. You'll be glad then things turned out the way they did - there's many other girls you can meet that are better.
 

Rakeboy

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I agree with the advice of others. The best thing you can do is be the best man you can be. And after 3, 5, 10 years when she realize that youre her alpha widow then its up to you if you will take her again or break her heart. She is young and more likely in her hoe phase exploring other options. When you reached your peak at around 30+ and she is in her wall. I am sure you will just laugh about this.
 

LM98

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Thank you everyone for the kind words and great advice! I’ve connected the dots and realize you are all speaking the truth. This was truly humbling but I already feel much better about myself.
 
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