Gf's beta orbiters - how to handle current situation

[smurfs]

One thing is certain though. The fact that the OP's girlfriend allows this guy to do things and buy stuff for her speaks poorly about her character, even if she does not actually fvck him.

I agree with this... the issue is that I cannot conspire a way to relay my boundaries in this regard without coming off as AFC or insecure.

Bit of background on the orbiter:
- Been friends with gf years before I came into the picture (even when she had another bf)
- Seems to always talk about me everytime whe 1on1 with her and in a mocking light. Will even go to the extent of making up stories in attempt to disqualify me

My greatest displeasure is when she visits him at his workplace to have lunch with as a 'return the favour' sort of thing. I believe I need to be careful with my wording to express some sort of boundary the next time this occurs

OR... I can leave it be and see if her true nature comes out to which I simply 'next' her.

Any help in how to tackle the boundary setting conversation would be greatly appreciated.

 

[cgr68311]

don't complicate life, listen to the elder ones, next her

 

[ducnguyen]

"Good Advice"

don't complicate life, listen to the elder ones, next her

I was in a similar situation in which i recently nexted her. It started out as a Fvckbuddy thing for 2 months, then she fell for me after 5 months. She had a lot of orbiters and had Borderline Personality Disorder. She was an HB10, a once former Playboy Playmate, blonde, blue eyes, D's, 5"7", 115 lbs, but lied a lot.

The sex was great, that's why it lasted. Then she kept beta-testing me telling me of her orbiters buying her gifts, etc. I passed them all.

Then she had to head back to Florida, as her mother was sick. I'm in California, and she was living with me for months. That is one thing i will not do is live with a BPD personality again. The lies, the games, the constant tests.

I nexted her before the holidays. Had to do it. Then i did some soul-searching by coming on here. I NC'd her and she recently called me and i didn't pick up.

The reason is because i warned her about orbiters and "character" issues i had with it, and she violated that simple request.

It's either focus on me/us, or you can have your fun with all the orbiters in the world you want.

I got my manhood and sanity back. Self-Respect is priceless.

 

[smurfs]

Thanks all the advice. I will voice my boundaries to create that win-win situation as soon as possible

 

[zekko]

See this is something I don't get and am trying to reconcile. How can you not give a fvck if you have to be upfront in your intentions? Seems like just accepting the situation would put you in friend zone.

It's easier to overcome the friend zone if you are only after sex, by being sexual with her.

If you are emotionally involved and wanting something more, that's where the situation becomes unfavorable.