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GF weight issues

Chalkie

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Dating a girl for about 1.4 years. When we started dating, I told her health and fitness are very important to me, she said understood. I myself, lost north of 50 LBS over the last 3 years, so there's no excuse why anyone can't. She's not on any meds, and used to walk at night at least prior to COVID. Now, she's working from home. If I exercise, she'll begrudgingly exercise too. She seems to eat healthy when around me, but I am not sure if she eats healthy on her own. I know I cannot force her to do, and I've already stated this could become really big issue for me a few times. Aside from that, she's excellent. Cooks, cleans, sex, pays and buys me things. Rather not get rid of her, but she's very emotional and sensitive, so if I say lose the 20 LBS, or I'm out, it'll probably not go over well. Yes, I am in shape and not over-weight. Size M with a 28 waist. I know she's lost weight, as her clothes have been big on her, but I'd feel better if she'd also exercise too.

Any points here? We're both 36.
 

Lookatu

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Are you in the midwest by chance? I see soooo many women letting themselves go and blowing up when they have been with a guy for awhile.

Just keep hammering in the importance of exercise and nutrition. Participate and lead walks and bike rides for starters. You can also subliminally give her hints by looking at fit women whether on tv or in real life and making comments. Just make sure you do it in a subtle and neutral way to not offend her.

If those don't work, you need to have a conversation that it makes you feel uncomfortable being around an obese person. If she really cared about you, she would or will make efforts to please you. Just like you've probably made some sacrifices or made additional efforts to please her. It's a two way street. Don't get cucked and let her have her cake and eat it too. Literally and figuratively...

I've been down a similar road before and if you don't nip it in the butt now, it's only going to get worse.
 

Chalkie

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Are you in the midwest by chance? I see soooo many women letting themselves go and blowing up when they have been with a guy for awhile.

Just keep hammering in the importance of exercise and nutrition. Participate and lead walks and bike rides for starters. You can also subliminally give her hints by looking at fit women whether on tv or in real life and making comments. Just make sure you do it in a subtle and neutral way to not offend her.

If those don't work, you need to have a conversation that it makes you feel uncomfortable being around an obese person. If she really cared about you, she would or will make efforts to please you. Just like you've probably made some sacrifices or made additional efforts to please her. It's a two way street. Don't get cucked and let her have her cake and eat it too. Literally and figuratively...

I've been down a similar road before and if you don't nip it in the butt now, it's only going to get worse.
No, NJ area. I've said it a few times, and she'll exercise with me, but at home she doesn't. I've said this to her again yesterday, and she even said a bit too blunt and direct. I said, it's important to me and this needs to be addressed. I fear that I will have to make the decision to leave because of this. I just hope she turns herself around. I feel a bit vain in doing this as for everything else she's excellent... Just the weight issue. I know some people do not think 20 lbs is a lot, but it can only grow from there if not nipped in the bud.

Anyways in addressing it to her w/o making her cry? Again, she's very sensitive. She doesn't eat sweets, but loves cheese and bread; which there in lines the problem. The COVID just made things worse since she cannot go to the gym. It's 103 degrees today and even I do not want to go out to run. She did suggest we could exercise online today; which I guess is a plus.
 

Young OG

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Most likely you will not get her to lose weight. I've had a couple ex girlfriends that I tried to get to lose weight. There diet/fitness programs were complete disasters. Neither of them took it serious. The only way someone will lose weight is because they themselves want to lose that weight. Not because someone else wants them to.

Don't give her an ultimatum. Try to hammer it into her mind that you just want her to be healthier and that since you put in the work, that she should too. But, most likely you will lose in the end.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Dating a girl for about 1.4 years. When we started dating, I told her health and fitness are very important to me, she said understood. I myself, lost north of 50 LBS over the last 3 years, so there's no excuse why anyone can't. She's not on any meds, and used to walk at night at least prior to COVID. Now, she's working from home. If I exercise, she'll begrudgingly exercise too. She seems to eat healthy when around me, but I am not sure if she eats healthy on her own. I know I cannot force her to do, and I've already stated this could become really big issue for me a few times. Aside from that, she's excellent. Cooks, cleans, sex, pays and buys me things. Rather not get rid of her, but she's very emotional and sensitive, so if I say lose the 20 LBS, or I'm out, it'll probably not go over well. Yes, I am in shape and not over-weight. Size M with a 28 waist. I know she's lost weight, as her clothes have been big on her, but I'd feel better if she'd also exercise too.

Any points here? We're both 36.
Example. Maybe ask her nicely to come with you. There is a "bonding" effect in working out together. Makes the sex better too. But don't try to boss her or tell her what to do.
 

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FlexpertHamilton

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Machine10033

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I got myself in the best shape I’ve ever been in. My girl was pretty lazy but over the last year she has heard from her friends, family and her girlfriends significant others about how shredded I am. She miraculously started eating right and exercising daily to keep her rear in shape. If your girl wants to keep you she will keep herself in shape... if not I wouldn’t stress you will find someone more compatible.
 
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