GF wants to take her EX to a family party

[falcon814]

I've only been dating this girl for a month and last nite she asked me if i wanted to be her date for a family party. I didn't wanna meet her family so i told her no i can't.

Well this morning she texts me saying,

Her:"would you mind if i took my ex?"
Me: "Yeah thats cool"

Now i duno how i feel about this.. what do you guys think. It seems like she still talks to her ex which she never mentioned to me.

 

[pipe007]

in order to give an appropriate answer, I need some clarifications.

- how long did you get to know this girl before you became exclusive with her?


- are you two, exclusive bf and gf, or just dating?

if you guys are just dating, and it has only been a month, then you really can't put your foot down about this situation. HOWEVER, this is a huge red flag for me (ex bf???) and a deal breaker, I would freeze her and more than soft next her for daring even mention her ex going to her family reunion with her.

and I would show it with indifference.

in the other hand if you play it cool and let it slide pretending to be Mr. Cool, Indifferent, "yea go ahead take your ex", then you have just given her permission to get some sparks with him and let her have sex with him on the side without you knowing.. GUARANTEED.

its tough situation... its DISRESPECTFUL in every angle I look at it, I would next this b1tch inmediately or take a good direction and let her know.... INMEDIATELY... but from the tone of your post, I can hear your neediness and insecurity, you probably don't have a backbone or enough balls to put this girl in her place and kick her to the curb.

that's your problem here.

this is if you wanna keep dating her.. if she is just a plate,,, then who the hell cares what she does...

peace!!

 

[pipe007]

Now that I think about this.., if my exclusive girlfriend were to tell me something like that

I can guarantee I would have replied with

"sure, you might as well stay with him... because you won't be hearing again from me."

and leave.

its a huge red flag for me sorry... why even date a girl that wants to TAKE her ex boyfriend to family reunion... I mean how fKddd up is that...

wonder what everyone else thinks

 

[falcon814]

Yeah we talked about exclusivity a month ago and you are right.

I don't know why i even thought about this one... definitly fu cked up.

Thats all i needed to hear thanx.

 

[pipe007]

good for you man.. take action.

if she is a good girl who cares about your relationship then she will comply to your request, and will do whatever she can to not make you uncomfortable

if she is a low quality girl ( which I suspect she is) then she will get pissed, call you names, and do things like that (talk to her ex) behind your back,,, because if you find out, you can get pissed at her.... weird logic here.

 

[falcon814]

I will find out today after i tell her to just stay with him.

Even though she has been the one who has been putting in most of the effort so far in this relationship so i was kinda surprised with her bringing up her ex.

Ill post an update later we'll c how it goes.

 

[brekke]

Do you know that she really wanted to go with him? Maybe she was just using it as a threat so you would say "no, I will go with you now".

 

[vatoloco]

Do you know that she really wanted to go with him? Maybe she was just using it as a threat so you would say "no, I will go with you now".

I'm not the OP but, either way, it's extremely disrespectful to [even suggest to] get together with an ex if you're dating exclusively.

Could it have been a sh!t test? Perhaps. But at this point the OP knows what to do: next her.

 

[pipe007]

yea, please do update us. should be interesting to see her reaction

to Brekke:
well, she might have said it as a reason to get him to comply out of jealousy or as a **** test.... but you know what, what if is true??? what if its not??

the point is, why go trough the drama of putting up with this kind of behavior?? either way, why let her get away with it... do you wanna date a girl that everytime you can't do a favor for her, or do something for her, or go out with her, then she will inmediately proceed to call ex boyfriends, or guy friends for that matter..... so her low self esteem self won't feel lonely... I've been trhough that before...

NEXT!!!!....my ex, would call me for a favor, and If I couldnt do it, she would call a guy friend that I didnt like to do it for her,,, Or if I went out with my buddies, she would call a guy friend to hang out... on purpose!!....

just low quality!!!!

NEXT

 

[backbreaker]

you got 2 options

1. beh bye. not bad


2. if you were sick like me, play it cool and just go on a date with another girl. mirror exactly what she's doing and dont' make a big deal about it at all. tell her hell you thought you guys had an open relationshipo since she's taking her ex places, why the misconfusion?

and even if she cuts him off, you don't' dare stop going on dotes with other girls for a good month to make her get the ****ing point. I'm falcon814 *****.

if she is chasing you, that doesn't mean anyting other than she is an attention getter... for not wanting to call your girl something else.


if you think there isn't going to be any kissing or anything going on man you are as Nieves as my 2 year old son. he's probably going to hit it.

 

[Ease]

Its only been a month, its sh*t test period.

I agree i wouldn't like to meet her parents so soon either.

Theres a big chance she was bluffing about the ex. Even if she wasn't, she's going to be sh*t test judging your reaction.

Playing it smooth and not caring was the good way to go. Better to be cool about it and get thinking about you instead of getting jealous and have a good time with her ex.

 

[L B]

Not sure about you...but when I'm in a serious relationship, I make it known that hanging out with the ex on a personal level is forbidden(communicated less harsh way). It goes both ways. Of course implementing it is not so simple, but the more you can avoid the ex the less drama you will see in your relationship.

Your girl might testing you or she might be naive and think boys and girls can be just friends. You might want to explain to her how going out with an ex is a sign of disrespect to the relationship. She might play dumb, but this is something that I always put my foot down with my relationships.

 

[zekko]

in the other hand if you play it cool and let it slide pretending to be Mr. Cool, Indifferent, "yea go ahead take your ex", then you have just given her permission to get some sparks with him and let her have sex with him on the side without you knowing.. GUARANTEED.

I agree with this. I know there are those who think that you should have no problem with your girl running around with whoever they want, whenever they want, because that is the "secure" thing to do. However, I firmly believe doing this just gives them permission to go out with any guy they meet who might capture their interest. Eventually it is going to catch up with you.

If you're exclusive she should not be going on "dates" with other guys. That, by definition, is not being exclusive. If she can't understand that she is not LTR material.

 

[drak_ool]

I have a girlfriend now and I honestly could not picture her bringing up the topic of hanging out with an ex into a conversation, let alone taking him to a family event (wtf dude?)

I always made it clear that I never talk to my ex's and that I expect her to do the same, which she has no problem with.

Whether or not it's a shyt test, bringing up the ex the way she has is disrespectful to you.

 

[Szyzzlin]

I've only been dating this girl for a month and last nite she asked me if i wanted to be her date for a family party. I didn't wanna meet her family so i told her no i can't.

Well this morning she texts me saying,

Her:"would you mind if i took my ex?"
Me: "Yeah thats cool"

Now i duno how i feel about this.. what do you guys think. It seems like she still talks to her ex which she never mentioned to me.

This girl is a retard. Who the F would say something like?? Ask her if its all right if you nail a hot young broad while she watches.

 

[boomerick]

Stupid simple....

If she was as into you as you think she is, she wouldn't even want to think about the ex...

How often have you asked your current LTR if you could go out with an ex...

Hahahahahahahahahah....YGTBSM!!

F*ckin' chicks ....what next???....GEEZ....she's got some balls

EDIT----Maybe she's just got yours

 

[WC2]

To be totally honest, what did you expect?

If a chick is into you then she will ask you to meet her parents. This is a sign that she's feeling good about the man she's with.

My question is, why didn't you agree to meet her parents? If you're already preventing yourself from seeing other women by dating this girl, then why are you so afraid to do something as little as meet her parents?

 

[chance]

i wanna know what happens to this... let us know falcon. that is disrespectful to being an ex along on your date... thats fuked... shows that she doesnt respect you. imagine if you brough an ex gf to your date, i can imagine she would feel very awkward.

 

[falcon814]

I didn't get to talk her tonight i was gonna go to her place after work but was too tired.

I could call her but i rather do it face to face. Im gonna bring it up tomorrow and regardless of her answer i have decided to hang out with other girls. This was the reason i didn't want a relationship but thought this girl was different. Stupid mistake.

Lucky for me she brought this up in less than a month into the relationship and nothing is really that serious atleast on my part.

I just feel like a pu ssy for not saying something at the moment when she brought it up but w/e.

 

[Bluntmaster]

If she even talks to an ex it's unacceptable.

I know this guy, who has oneitis for this chic, and she is still friends with all her ex's and he never told her it's not acceptable.

That guy is doomed. Gotta lay down your boundaries early.