GF Trouble, Again

[WORKEROUTER]

So me and my gf have been dating for around 5 months now, and lately it hasn't been as smooth, carefree, and fun as it use to be the first couple months.

One of the major things I have noticed is taht she isn't as interested in what I say anymore. In the beginning, we would discuss all kinds of things, and she would totally be interested in the views I take and what I had to say about things (society, philosophy, government, relationships, etc.) Lately though, it seems like she doesn't really care. I'll be discussing my views, and I'll notice she's not really listening attentively or just doesn't consider it very important.Besides this, I have also noticed that there's less physical excitement. She doesn't seem as enthusiastic about seeing me. Or, when we are together, she doesn't seem as excited. For example, she use to always like to get real close when we walk, love to hug me whenever we leave, etc. Now, we sometimes do, and othertimes we don't.

So all in all, it seems like things have gotten a bit stale. Sure, we can still have a great time together, but the over-the-top excitement is often absent.

For example, today, after we were walking from class, we didn't really hold each other (in fact, she was a couple feet to the side of me), and when I went off to the library, we didn't even hug or anything. She said she'll call me, and I just told her "that's cool" and went my own way. It's not that I don't want to be affectionate with her...it's just that I am not going to be the one who is going to run up to her and be affectionate. So you know what? I just stopped caring all that much. I use to wonder why she wasn't being very affectionate, and all of this other bullsh*t, but now I just decided I am not going to waste my time or energy.

Now the thing is that, I don't want things to continue being stale between us, and then spiral into an dull relationship that finally comes to an end. So how should I do this?

Lately, I have been focusing on myself more, and doing things that I want to do. For instance, I have been going to the gym on a regular basis, keeping up with my work, and am planning to start taking classes in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. By keeping myself busy and not dependent on anyone else for entertainment, I feel happier and I think it becomes less dull and stale for both of us.

Anyway, any suggestions?

Thanks

 

[MindOverMatter]

how old are you? how old is she?

 

[WORKEROUTER]

I am 18; she's 20.

 

[MindOverMatter]

chalk it up as learning experiance, break up with her, and find someone else. I know it's the answer you don't want to hear, but trust me, it's the best thing for you to do.

You're still young, don't waste time being in a relationship with girls that are not worth it. You're gonna be starting college soon probably, and you will find that your dating pool is huge. Don't settle for mediocre relationships.

Ive been in a multitude of relationships where at first, there'd be a ton of chemistry, then at the end, you'd find out that the girl stopped being into you etc, just as you have discovered. that's normal at that age. people who are not compatible in a relationship WILL get bored of each other, it's natural.

the best advice i can give you is when your relationship starts to fall, and you realize the interest is not there, move on. you two are not compatible, keep looking and find someone who is. don't settle for a lesser girl.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Ya that's really the answer I didn't want to hear. And I am in college right now. The thing is that, I DO like this girl, and I really have become attached to her over the last few months. She's attractive, caring, and I have a good time with her.

And I guess one of the problems is that I am not that great at picking up girls. If I dumped her, then I would be out at f*cking ground zero, again! I don't really know people I can go hang out with and meet women with, so it would put me back to a dull Friday night.

Even though I like her, I do realize that there are more attractive ( and I don't mean just physically) girls out there who I would most likely prefer. The problem is MEETING THEM. I have read the bible, and I know all about being confident, conversations, etc., but I have a hard time finding a way to actually utilize these skills with women because I have a hard time meeting them!

But you are probably right, and I think I have reached the fundamental problem.

 

[MindOverMatter]

The reason I say break it off is because i do see her dumping you soon. If she hasn't realized that she is bored yet, she will soon. Then, as soon as another option crosses her way, she'll dump you for it.

I'm sure this relationship was amazing when you first met, but that's not the case anymore. You can't make it the way it once was, it takes two people to rekindle that spark, and I don't think she's interested.

The best thing to do now is to be realistic, and look at the present situation before it gets worse.

Also, you have to learn to go after women and make things happen, it's in your nature as a man. Take baby steps at first, and work your way up. Next time you're in a relationship, always leave yourself options on the side, so that when it's over, you don't have to start from scratch.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

She is seeing another dude - do some reconnaissance!

It has nothing to with boredom!!! Why you young guys keep saying that a woman leaves you because she is bored is nonsense!!

 

[jprjrjr]

Just tell her that you don't think things are working out, and you'd like to break up.

Don't give her a big, long winded explanation. She certainly isn't giving you an explanation as to why she's acting that way.

Women have more choices. They think they want something, then they get bored. Who cares? Plenty of other women....

 

[Luscious]

Agreed.

Time to cut bait and move on, no matter how attached you are. She's not interested, and it takes two to make things work. Don't be the chump here.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

So she says we're going to get together tonight. Well, I give her a call up (we were suppose to meet around 10) around 10:30, the phone rings once, it picks up, then it shuts off. I attribute it to a bad connection, call a few minutes later, and notice that the phone has been put on automatic message (meaning it doesn't ring..it goes directly to a message). I call an hour later..still on automatic.

Bad sign? Definately.

Should I dump her? Absolutely.

It's f*cking hard because I am attached to her, but I guess I just need to grab my balls and do it.

Thanks Guys

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Were you sexing her - if you were, why would you think you were the only one? Wake up!!!

 

[tmpgstx]

I think she's cheating .. and can tell you that it becomes like a 'chore' to have sex or be around you some or most of the time at the end of the relationship when she has cheated.

From reading your initial post, it was written all over it. Again .. another typical trademark sign of cheating. There are exceptions of course or other reasons, but the cell phone kind of puts a bit in perspective don't it?

 

[Lost In Translation]

Quote - tmpgstx
the cell phone kind of puts a bit in perspective don't it

it is the clue to solve this celebrity murder mystery

Quote - PuertoRican_Lover
She is seeing another dude - do some reconnaissance!

BLACK OP. behind enemy lines. expected casualty rate : 99%

PRL you bring the night vision goggles and i'll bring the crack to leave a trail to lure her out into the open with the dude she is cheating with

BRAVO TEAM GO GO GO !

Quote - WORKEROUTER
It's f*cking hard because I am attached to her, but I guess I just need to grab my balls and do it

you will feel alot better when it's all over.

i wish you all the best



Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[tmpgstx]

Lol .. it's like in the movie Predator. You're fighting an enemy you can't see at first and then as you find out more by taking risks and making attacks, it becomes more visible .. as does a cheater!

"Gonna have me some fun .. gonna have me some fun .."

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I want to make it known that when in the presence of a woman a man’s goal is not to entertain her – you are not an entertainer - you should not be her clown, her jest, her buffoon!!!!

Why you young bastards keep saying that if a woman gets bored she’ll leave her man is beyond me!! Woman are the boring creatures – what the hell does a man owe them (women) but their masculinity – do not placate the hors nor bow down to them!! If your personality does not suit them and theirs do not suit yours then depart, but don’t feel obligated that you must be this “exciting” dynamic creature to keep a woman – this is not your job!!

If you have a boring mundane presence and are not easily excitable or gregarious then this is your genetic make-up and you trying to be someone who you are not only looks awkward!

Your job is not to entertain – rather it is to follow the dictates of your nature and be a man and not a supplicating fool!!!

 

[MindOverMatter]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
I want to make it known that when in the presence of a woman a man’s goal is not to entertain her – you are not an entertainer - you should not be her clown, her jest, her buffoon!!!!

Why you young bastards keep saying that if a woman gets bored she’ll leave her man is beyond me!! Woman are the boring creatures – what the hell does a man owe them (women) but their masculinity – do not placate the hors nor bow down to them!! If your personality does not suit them and theirs do not suit yours then depart, but don’t feel obligated that you must be this “exciting” dynamic creature to keep a woman – this is not your job!!

If you have a boring mundane presence and are not easily excitable or gregarious then this is your genetic make-up and you trying to be someone who you are not only looks awkward!

Your job is not to entertain – rather it is to follow the dictates of your nature and be a man and not a supplicating fool!!!

Very good post, and I agree on some points.

Unless I have very good chemistry with a girl, I will get bored of her within a month, or two at the most. If you're not compatible with someone, being bored is unavoidable. I dated this girl in february that was a complete opposite of me. Totally different interests, different personalities, nothing clicked.

Once I realize I don't have good compatibility with a girl, I get bored, and start looking for a way out, because spending time with her becomes a chore. I can assume that this holds true for both genders.

But you are right, it's not your job as a man to entertain her. You're a man, not a monkey playing a violin. If you don't have good chemistry/compatibility for someone, your best bet is to leave and find a better woman instead of trying to create chemistry out of nowhere with the current girl. Settling for less is never an option.