GF Thinks I Should Walk Her Home After Dates

[CORVETTE06]

i would walk her home everytime even if she WASNT my girlfriend.

shes a girl u cant make her walk home at night by herself.

one time a girl i knew was in a club and she was going to walk home but i left and walked her home and came back to the club

its something u should do.

maybe she will invite u into her house when u walk her home & she will bang u

 

[DoctorLW]

i would walk her home everytime even if she WASNT my girlfriend.

shes a girl u cant make her walk home at night by herself.

one time a girl i knew was in a club and she was going to walk home but i left and walked her home and came back to the club

its something u should do.

maybe she will invite u into her house when u walk her home & she will bang u

You would accompany a girl on a one hour bus ride home and then ride an hour back? That's ludicrous. Screams to me AFC. No girl SHOULD and WOULD reasonably expect a guy to do this.

 

[Z Man]

No more advice for you from me. You keep changin' the ****in story!

And **** you, DJDan, you've obviously never had a sister.

 

[Fela Kuti]

No more advice for you from me. You keep changin' the ****in story!

And **** you, DJDan, you've obviously never had a sister.

I didn't change the story. I just added what was left off

 

[Fela Kuti]

Great advice, DoctorLW! I wonder if your name stands for Doctor of Love and Women!

 

[young_gun]

So she wants you to ride on a bus and THEN walk her home? That's quite a bit to ask for. MAYBE if you lived in a decent-sized town where the ride was short, and it didn't take you that long to get to your destination, it would be ok every ONCE IN A WHILE, but she can't expect you to get on an hour-long bus ride with her and then walk her home. That's a 2+ hour trip for you. Why doesn't she just call a friend / her sister to meet her at the bus stop when it drops her off?

It would be ok if you only had to walk her to the bus stop and then said goodbye to her as she got on the bus, but I see that's not the situation you're in. It is entirely unreasonable for her to expect you to do something like she is demanding of you.

It sounds like your girlfriend is into way too much stupid drama.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Really? What made u think like this?

1. There's something else going on you're not telling us because you brought up this topic to her months ago for some reason
2. Even though is sounds like a small thing, it's been bugging her for a while.
3. Lack of "responsibility" in itself is never a small thing.
4. Whenever a woman brings up a relationship concern no matter how benign, treat it as if it were something bit; more often than not it is.
5. She's spoken to her friends about this before you. See, it is bigger than you think it is.
6. She's following the advise of her friends. This is seldom a good thing when you're a DJ.
7. She started crying, that's never a good thing. Did I mention that this was probably bigger than you thought?

 

[Fela Kuti]

Yeah, Francisco. She said that there's been many things on her mind and this is only one of them. But she won't reveal yet what the other things are. You know, she's an introvert, and she wouldn't even brought this topic up if I didn't insist.

There's something else going on you're not telling us because you brought up this topic to her months ago for some reason

the reason is that some months ago I saw her acting strange the day after a night out, and when I asked her why, she told me that sometimes she doesn't feel really comfortable when she go out with me. I knew there's something wrong then, but I ignored it since she didn't wanna open up. then months passed and everything's fine until we brought up this topic. She said, "I was initially thinking that it's not really a big deal, but after some reconsideration, I now think it is." Man, those friends and mom really washed up her brain it seems!!

 

[aliasguy]

This chick is bad news for you, man.

What's next?

I'd not "walk her home," and just let her freakin' leave you, if she wants. I wouldn't discuss it anymore. Just say no. She'll either bolt or give in. Either way, you win.

 

[Fela Kuti]

This chick is bad news for you, man.

What's next?

I'd not "walk her home," and just let her freakin' leave you, if she wants. I wouldn't discuss it anymore. Just say no. She'll either bolt or give in. Either way, you win.

wow, do you really think that the topic of "GF Thinks I Should Walk Her Home After Dates" is worth a breakup?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yeah, Francisco. She said that there's been many things on her mind and this is only one of them. But she won't reveal yet what the other things are. You know, she's an introvert, and she wouldn't even brought this topic up if I didn't insist.



the reason is that some months ago I saw her acting strange the day after a night out, and when I asked her why, she told me that sometimes she doesn't feel really comfortable when she go out with me. I knew there's something wrong then, but I ignored it since she didn't wanna open up. then months passed and everything's fine until we brought up this topic. She said, "I was initially thinking that it's not really a big deal, but after some reconsideration, I now think it is." Man, those friends and mom really washed up her brain it seems!!

Uh-huh. I'm not going to say that you need to break up but the problem sure as hell not just about you walking her home. The problem is that now you have to deal with whatever she's feeling and whatever her friends are telling her. Makes you wonder why she's opening up to her friends instead of you though.

 

[Axcell]

Many great suggestions have been brought forward, some bad advice as well, which is unfortunate.
It is not your duty to walk her home, you are a DJ, you don't go out of your way to spend time with a girl. If you are in a serious relationship with her, I would walk her once in a while. If you do it everyday, like already said, you will be her "clown."

An important thing is to do it as a reward. If your girlfriend does something bad, don't walk her hope that day. If she does something good, walk her home. Become the prize, and don't be predictable. You want her to always want you to walk her home! By doing it continuously, you will be developing a precedent and she will take your walks for granted. The last 2 sentences are key.

Hope I helped your problem, if you have any other questions drop me a PM.

 

[Fela Kuti]

Makes you wonder why she's opening up to her friends instead of you though.

It's been my problem since the first few weeks of our relationship She said she's an introvert, that's why she acts like that.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It's been my problem since the first few weeks of our relationship She said she's an introvert, that's why she acts like that.

She's an introvert with you, she's opening up to her friends seemingly without any problem. This isn't to say that there's anything wrong with you. It could be that this is a regular pattern she has with her boyfriends.

• Girl has predetermined relationship expectations
• Girl gets boy
• Girl doesn't tell boy about expectations
• Boy does what he's been doing
• Girl gets frustrated
• Girl tells friends
• Friends being friends, agrees with girl not knowing the full story
• Girl gives guy hints but doesn't tell him the real problem
• Guy fixes the wrong thing (which girl tells him is the right thing)
• Girl gets even more frustrated
• Relationship runs into the ditch
• Cycle repeats

Ugly, ain't it?

 

[Fela Kuti]

Ugly, indeed. What makes it more ugly to me is that I'm experiencing it.

 

[Fela Kuti]

I've talked to her about this. She said that actually the main problem is her mother. HER MOTHER DOESN'T WANT HER TO HAVE A BF YET. Her mom said that her daughter isn't ready yet. (Hence, she wants me to walk her home. to gain her mother's approval). She still loves me but also doesn't want to disappoint her mother. Oh this is fukked up, guys. Help

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I've talked to her about this. She said that actually the main problem is her mother. HER MOTHER DOESN'T WANT HER TO HAVE A BF YET. Her mom said that her daughter isn't ready yet. (Hence, she wants me to walk her home. to gain her mother's approval). She still loves me but also doesn't want to disappoint her mother. Oh this is fukked up, guys. Help

What's the problem? At least you know what the real issue is. It's difficult when the issue is with a third party but this type of issue with the parents is common. It could be worse, her father could be the one having the issue. The thing to realize though is that walking her home probably won't solve the issue. More detective work is required.

 

[Fela Kuti]

The problem is, now she's torn between me and her mother. She cries heavily because of this, you know. We even talked about the possibility of breaking up..

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The problem is, now she's torn between me and her mother. She cries heavily because of this, you know. We even talked about the possibility of breaking up..

Personally I feel that any person who cannot balance their relationship with their family and their boy/girlfriend isn't ready to have external interactions since its apparent that their relationship with their family is extremely influential. It's your call as to how much you're willing to interact with the situation. Whatever you choose your decision should be equally beneficial to the two of you; no one sided concessions.

 

[LovelyLady]

How old are you?
How old is she?
Does she live with her mom?
Do you live with your parent(s)?
How late at night is she walking alone?
What is her neighborhood like?