GF suggests threesome

[imarockstar]

Should be an interesting topic, lots of different feedback is sure to ensue.

My current GF of 4 months is pretty cool so far. Shes almost perfect aside from the fact that I cant find a way to trust her. I believe Im right in this regard because of the length of time we've been together, but other reasons come to mind when I even consider trusting this girl.

This chick is extremely sexual, yet she has boundaries on things she will and will not do, things my ex GF did and shes one of the biggest prudes around. Shes pretty outspoken in general, and very open about her thoughts on sex.

Two things really fvcking bother me about this girl though. Its two things she has said to me in the past month or so. One being that shes cool with threesomes. Not that she wants to plan one out but if it happened she would be cool with it, she "thinks girls are hot". I retaliated with "oh awesome, just dont go thinking that it works the other way around". Ive also heard her say something along the lines of "sex isnt a big deal to me, sex is sex".

Well to me sex is a big deal, that is if you are in a relationship. Otherwise sex can definately be completely meaningless. So maybe I misinterpreted that comment. But as for the threesomes, I kind of think its awesome but in the same instance I think to myself, What the fvck. Cheating is cheating. A threesome is me cheating on my girlfriend right before her eyes. Yet she says its ok because she is a part of it, if I snuck around and did something behind her back it is a way different story (women definately have a ridiculous sense of logic)

Anyways guys hit me with your best shot. Call me a fool for finding the suggestion of a threesome offensive, or even call me a fool for dating such a person. Either way, I want your opinions, especially if you have similar experiences.

 

[Boilermaker]

pffffffffffff she never actually proposed a threesome, dude.

you are way over dramatic. To you sex is a big deal?

you sound like an heartbroken woman.

She seems to be a confident young woman who enjoys her sexuality. You are fretting over petty details with an uptight attitude instead of enjoying yourself.

give me my five minutes back, please.

 

[imarockstar]

So I assume you are single, because if you were in a relationship Im sure your stance on this subject would be somewhat different. So if sex is not a big deal to you, go ahead and pursue a relationship with a woman. Marry her, have children, and let her bang every man she wants to, tell her it is ok to do because sex is not a big deal to you.

I dont see why few people on this forum need to be condescending, bitter, or posses a holier than thou attitude. I asked a question hoping to gain some insight, yet I am overcome with rubbish from someone who chooses a username depicting a trashy, low class, redneck ****tail containing whiskey and beer.

 

[Pair A Dice]

If sex is a big deal, then this should only add to your short relationship with your girlfriend. You'd be doing something she wanted to, as well as something every guy dreams of. You both are sharing it. I don't see a problem.

 

[The_411]

This won't end well. Your gut tells you can't trust her so .... have the threesome but know that this "relationship" is going nowhere long term.

 

[Colossus]

You are no fool, it's just your opinion.

I think the idea of a threesome (MFF) is hot, but in actuality I wouldnt do it in the context of an otherwise good relationship.

As far as your current gf; it sounds like you have some fundamental differences in the sex dept. That, and your admission you cannot find a way to trust her is a good indicator you might not want to pursue things very seriously with her, because a rough road might be ahead. Just a suggestion.

 

[women haze]

If you are struggling to trust her, then why is she your Girlfriend?...I believe that for a relationship to trully work, you both have to be on the same page.

Mentally, Spiritually, Sexually...If you do not see eye to eye or if you do not trust her. This will not last.

I say you keep her as a FB do a threesome or whatever, and look elsewhere for a Girlfriend....

My question to you is why are you with her though if she cannot be trusted you don't think you could do better?

 

[imarockstar]

womenhaze:

this is the same question i ask myself sometimes. its not that im worried about something better, shes fvckin awesome. the struggle is wondering if she really is bad news or if im just overreacting. your right, trust is the key of every relationship, but i ask myself, "how do i trust a girl ive only dated for 4 months?"

Colossus I know you're right, I know this most likely will not end well. But at this point in my life, Im just enjoying the ride. I guess ive just been kinda off my game, you know like thinking too much, worrying. its rough because my gf keeps pushing things, trying to get serious, and I guess I have been entertaining the idea. But at the end of the day, Im just looking for someone to have a good time with, all that seriousness can come later.

 

[5string]

I admire th OP for his convictions.

Keep in mind that what she does with you now, she has done with others in her past. Bank on it.

woman haze is right. She's not GF material. If you want the 3some, go for it. It's gonna be all she's good for. A potential FB at best.

 

[squirrels]

Think about your girl before you engage in a threesome. Mine has said, "I'd have a threesome with you and another girl, but we'd probably get into a fight afterward". She may say she's OK with it for your sake, but some girls, once they get into the moment, find that they can't handle their man being intimate with someone else.

If you DO decide to go through with it, think of the other girl as a "guest girl" that you and your girlfriend are "sharing". Never let the "guest girl" become the star of the show...always approach it from the angle that this is something you and your girlfriend are doing TOGETHER for your enjoyment as a couple.

At least that's the way I'd approach it the first time...if your girl actually ACTS as open-minded as she TALKS, then you can start approaching it more loosely.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

If you DO decide to go through with it, think of the other girl as a "guest girl" that you and your girlfriend are "sharing". Never let the "guest girl" become the star of the show...always approach it from the angle that this is something you and your girlfriend are doing TOGETHER for your enjoyment as a couple.

I agree with Squirrels. I do not think your concerns are unjustified OP. Threesomes have shown to be unhealthy on a relationship if coming from the perspective of it being a serious one or potential LTR. I have not had a threesome and believe I'd be open to it maybe with a few chicks I barely knew...I feel if I had feelings for my GF, this would not be a good move for our relationship, because with sex we may gain feelings for the third party, or it could just in some ways raise an "it's okay to be sexual with other people" flag around the relationship...I suppose everyone has different sexual boundaries and mindsets, etc, but from what I gather from your post, this would make you uncomfortable -- and more what makes you uncomfortable is her touting around her sexual-freedom card which makes you feel you could be pushed to the side, cheated on, etc, etc -- these are valid feelings. If she is a young 20-something girl, your feelings are probably justified, and she may very well have this mindset.

I had trouble trusting my last LTR. Some small percentage of trust-issues could be some psychosis-induced-paranoia. IE -- NOTHING is wrong but a person CONVINCES themselves as so. I would say reoccurring trust issues, in most normal people, 99% of the time have some underlying truth or reasons for such conviction of feelings. Her comments and her behaviors make you question her ability to maintain monogamy, or her ability to just run and have a quick "no big deal sex session" behind your back.

It sounds like this girl is probably good for what she serves you now -- sex and some degree of companionship -- but be warned that your feelings and problems may only become greater as time in this relationship progresses. If you are curious about a sexual threesome, and she is willing, perhaps she is an opportunity to try that, if you can keep your emotions distanced and not confuse the situation for your "future wife" or something like that. Take Squirrels advice. Otherwise -- sounds like she is a little immature, difficult, and fvcking with your head. Keep your options open -- from what you've shared here -- doesn't sound like you are both truly on the same page.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Yeah dude she's not relationship material. Weekend fun you hit the bulls eye, but weekend at moms is a fail idea...