GF showing signs of LI - my reaction.

[Firedweller]

Before it was annoyingly high, constant attention wanted and given, never disrespectful, stuck to plans etc. A year into the relationship, I can see the trend changing.

For the past fortnight, she messages back several hours later, doesn't care if I call at night, and canceled our last two dates just hours before they happened.

Most of you will say next her, but I am going to step back from the relationship and not plan anything with her or making unnecessary communication. I am not bitter, it's just I have been here before in relationships and when I was a total AFC three years ago, I stepped up the communication, told her I loved her more frequently and was 'there' for her all the time - as if I did something very wrong which I was trying to make up for.

If I see that she's hanging with a guy or doing something shifty, I will dump her but I don't think 2 weeks of low IL warrants that in my book. I know her father has been sick this past month but I don't buy that it's the reason. When girls are into you, they will step over anything to show you that they are keen.

Btw, the two times she canceled, she had reasons so didn't just cancel if that makes a difference.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

I'd be up front and ask her what's her deal first?

 

[El Payaso]

A general rule I like to follow is if she pulls back by 5%, I pull back by 10%.

Her low interest might now necessarily be on purpose. I know when I was having problems with my dad, I was very down, depressed and withdrawn around my girlfriend. She kept pressing me asking why but I never told her. I'm not trying to rationalize for her but she might be having some personal reasons.

Flaking twice in a row though isn't good. Don't be a doormat because of this. I would suggest pulling back twice the amount that she has. If she tries to initiate a date again, tell her you can't. That you don't go out with girls who constantly flake on you.

She'll get the message.

 

[nismo-4]

Always care less than your woman does.

Also, you'd best start going after other women in case she is in another castle. You are aware that women mentally break up with you months before the actual breakup right?

 

[Between_The_Lines]

The 'mental notes' are piling on fast. You're right, I don't think you should drop her yet, but begin preparing yourself to do so if this goes on for a little longer. You be the judge of where your threshold lies, but begin calculating a time table for when you'll decide that "enough is enough" rather than letting it drag out indefinitely, growing resentful, and perhaps allowing yourself to get canned by her.

I agree with you on your suspicion with her using her Father being sick as a possible front. If she does dump you, you know the drill - "it's cool, I was thinking that was for the best myself" with a stoic demeanor, and au revoix.

 

[Leif_Johnson]

Point being, live your life for yourself, not her. Doesn't matter if she has high IL or not, YOU shouldn't live for her. Supporting her is what you do, but always live for yourself.