Gf or new single friends?

[tryst type]

well for the first time ever, I find myself being the only single guy in my group of friends.

It's bee a good few years and it looks like all my friends are focused towards the generic end, marriage, house, kids.

This isn't even in my perception at all right now and I'm the oldest out of them. I'm happy being single and hanging out with a girl here and there to only come home to myself and stress free living.

Lately, I find my friends are too busy with their gfs to ever really hang out, and if we do it's more along the lines of running errands and such. No more random parties, outings having unpredictable fun. It's become get-togethers for couples where I'm the odd man out.

I started asking myself, do I want a gf? I mean I'd fit in more with my friends and she'd help fill the gap that they've created. Then I wonder, should I just find single friends instead? I've never had to consider making new friends and I wouldn't even know where to start, I'm not into the whole bar/club scene and it's not like days of high school where it was easier. Also, the shift of seasons into the upcoming holidays has been lingering in my mind, making me question if maybe I do want a gf... Any advice?

 

[Greasy Pig]

I'm in exactly the same boat and have the same inner battles with what my true desires are.
I'm very happy being single and really value time by myself to chill, watch movies, party with my non-single friends when they're available and play golf - with the occasional plate thrown in for some NSA pounding when the mood takes me.
But I do think sometimes that being single can become a state of mind.
All my mates are happily married (to an outsider looking in) but they marvel at my lifestyle and the freedom I enjoy.
So the longer I stay single, the more I enjoy it and I wonder if I intentionally discount a lot of women for minor indiscretions because I'm worried about people treating me differently or some crap.

Anyway, I get along fine with my friends and their girlfriends/wives and I don't think getting a girlfriend just to fit in better with their lives is the way to go.

 

[mrRuckus]

I more or less write friends off as dead when they get girlfriends or wives because nearly all of them cease to have lives of their own but instead become some weird symbiotic creature that strangely enough has all the same preferences as the original female of the pairing.

 

[Warrior74]

I was at that point a few years back (early 30s) and I ended up hanging with a younger crowd (mid to late 20s). As they all reached 30ish and paired off, I've been in limbo. I'm pushing 40 and find it hard to hangout with mid 20 somethings, I get invites but I just feel too old. I get tired of hanging out with married people, since my financial life is fvcked, I just spend my time working and hanging with with the fellas on pool night when they shoot league.

 

[tryst type]

Yeah most of the time I just want to hang out by myself and not even have a girl by my side at all. I wonder if seeing my friends and their scripted lives following the herd is turning me off to finding new girl prospects all together. Then again I have days where I'm convinced I want a female companion.

 

[Digitz]

I think we all want to be loved and give love through our lives. How you do that is up for you to decide...

You can give to your community, your students, your mentees, the woman you love, a child, a dog...the list goes on.

This is more a question of your passion for life and whether or not you want to squeeze every ounce out of it and how that will work with you. Do you have a desire to find your true calling and go after it 100%? If so, your mate will come to you eventually during your pursuit. This applies to your friends as well. (Friends, like women, come and go).

On the other hand, if you're more concerned with whether or not you're fitting in with the current group you've got, that these individuals inspire you to make you a better person and explore your true potential, settle with whatever girl you want as your girlfriend and see how it goes.

 

[FairShake]

Good luck finding a new crew at 29. They don't just appear.

But getting a gf just to fit in is weak sauce and you'll end up resenting her and she will definitely resent you. It's almost like a gay guy getting a girl as a beard.

So get back out there and be a one man wolfpack. Or find a crew that may not be as tight as before but someone to pass the time with.

 

[LegendaryGame]

Hey man, I'm your exact age and in the same situation. What I've found out to work is to focus on yourself more as being single equates to having the ability to focus on yourself more. You aren't splitting your time etc, so I go to the gym daily and really focused on health. Second, improve the career you are in, no matter how you're doing you can focus on improvements whether its school, increasing sales for your business. Third, date very casually, have a girl who is not so serious and you can bring her to friendly functions. It'd be great if she also would do other activities with you, but not be in such a committed situation. I made some female friends at work and they enjoy going to functions and hanging out. This way you have the ability to be free, be better off with your friends since your not alone at the function and you still get some female action. It's a great place to be. Bouncing around with different women or old school plate spinning helps immensely when you meet "the" woman you want to be with.:rockon: