"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

GF of 14 months wants me to call her before I go out eventhough .....

Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
135
Reaction score
0
GF of 14 months wants me to call her before I go out eventhough .....


lets imagine this situation for awhile ...

you have a GF of 14 months ...and she studies architecture (she is 21) youre 28 ...
so shes got a lot of schooling to do. Architecture demans plenty of time. you see each other every weekend, She asked you to be the BF, and she already asked to marry her .... shes a lot into you....

but last wednesday happend something that you cannot comprehend and you think it would be wise to write about this to the guys at sosuave.com board.

you talked on the phone last wednesday to her before she got to go to a colleague house to for a project she presented on thursday ...so she would be out all night and you both could not see each other on that night ...

you usually take dance SALSA classes on wednesdays, she knows that of course and while youare there after class the teacher and all people say "People!, we invite you all to a birthday TODAY ... just a while tomorrow we will work. But come it will be fun"

would you call your girl? to tell her you are going out ? eventhough she cannot go ?

I did not call her ...

But I told her yesterday about it and she got mad...
she said she felt we been out for a month or two... that calling is part of respecting each other and bla bla bla ...

what do you think guys ??

am I wrong is she right ....depends??
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

PeeGee

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2004
Messages
484
Reaction score
3
Age
46
Location
Ontario
Women are irrational, and as such there could be any number of reasons why she did this. Insecurity, heard about cheating boyfriends, insecurity...PMS :D

But seriously, as long as she's not continuously out of line, it's okay, right? It's not as if she's like "you must tell me where you are or I'll start arguments or accuse you of irrational claims", at which point you might have a cause for concern.

Of course what she's doing is conditioning you NOT to tell her when you go out, so whatever her reasoning, she's not expressing it properly. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
 

splinterkb

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2004
Messages
750
Reaction score
4
Age
40
Location
Minnesota
You're ***** whipped. Too bad.
 
Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
135
Reaction score
0
she told me that the reason she ask me to call her when I go out its because for years she gave her parents a hug and a good night kiss but they never reciprocated she gave up ...she tried and tried doing it for years but they didnt respond and finally when she told them verbally and with tears in her eyes that she liked to be considered daily with a good night kiss and a hug cuz nobody knows if we are gonna be alive tomorrow they responded "look she is just putting an act "
she doesn't want me to act as cold as her parents are...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,620
Reaction score
186
Age
47
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Originally posted by NoMoreMisterNiceGuy
she told me that the reason she ask me to call her when I go out its because for years she gave her parents a hug and a good night kiss but they never reciprocated she gave up ...she tried and tried doing it for years but they didnt respond and finally when she told them verbally and with tears in her eyes that she liked to be considered daily with a good night kiss and a hug cuz nobody knows if we are gonna be alive tomorrow they responded "look she is just putting an act "
she doesn't want me to act as cold as her parents are...
Teh f*ck??

If she gives her parents a hug/kiss every night, why would they kiss/hug her a SECOND time? A kiss or hug is reciprocal by default.

Sounds like she has issues. You're going to marry this girl??
 
Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
135
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by squirrels
Teh f*ck??

If she gives her parents a hug/kiss every night, why would they kiss/hug her a SECOND time? A kiss or hug is reciprocal by default.

Sounds like she has issues. You're going to marry this girl??
she was the only one who initiated the hug and the good night kiss ...she waited for her parents to do that or do the same as her but they never did ...

yes
 

DJ_Dork

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 29, 2003
Messages
1,178
Reaction score
0
Age
48
we got a case of PVSSY WHIPPEDNESS. Dude did you know she tested you by telling you that you should call or not go if she can't?

YOU FAILED.

Now she will keep controlling you like a little puppy. This isn't always a good thing because if she finds someone better or decides you're not fun anymore you're gone and your self esteem will be crushed.

I've been there, and some of us have been there. It's alright but at 14 months.. it's kinda hard on trying to act DJ because she'll suspect something up with you and will make you feel miserable the whole time. Better set some rules and demands otherwise she'll keep whipping.
 
Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
135
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by DJ_Dork
we got a case of PVSSY WHIPPEDNESS. Dude did you know she tested you by telling you that you should call or not go if she can't?

YOU FAILED.

Now she will keep controlling you like a little puppy. This isn't always a good thing because if she finds someone better or decides you're not fun anymore you're gone and your self esteem will be crushed.

I've been there, and some of us have been there. It's alright but at 14 months.. it's kinda hard on trying to act DJ because she'll suspect something up with you and will make you feel miserable the whole time. Better set some rules and demands otherwise she'll keep whipping.
what do you suggest me to do ??

better to 1. tell I am not gonna call her next time I go out alone ?...
or better

to 2. SHOW her I am not gonna call her next time? ... By not calling her and telling her the day after that I was out all night ?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,620
Reaction score
186
Age
47
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Why even tell her if you know it's gonna upset her?

It's not like you're doing anything like cheating on her...you're just hanging out with friends. It's none of her business. Unless you want to make it her business by inviting her along, but it sounds like she's indisposed a lot of the time.
 

Cremasta

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2003
Messages
963
Reaction score
39
Location
Australia
I'm a bit lost with some of the responses here...

She's your gf of 14 months and you won't even call her to tell her you are going to a party???

I think you should have called... NOT to ask her permission to go. But to let her know that your plans had changed and at least given her the opportunity to ditch class or whatever she was doing to come along with you. Something like "Hi, the class is celebrating a birthday, did you want to ditch class and come along?" Of course there is no suggestion that she could in any way talk you out of it.

Unless of course you didn't want her there...
 

Alen-Delon

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2004
Messages
275
Reaction score
2
Location
Out There
okei she is testing you. This are the first steps in controling someone in a relationship. your 28 and she wants you to call her EVEN though she is BUSY that night a cant go out with you. she wants you to tell her every time you go somewhere where you going and who are you going with. Fukc that. take a stand your are the man in the RL.
 

edgewater

Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
26
Reaction score
0
Just ask her whats her problem? She doesn't trust you? You're going to a party - big deal. You should have put it back on her for questioning your integrity. Btw - you should have just told her what you were doing. By being secretive about it you would raise suspicion, by asking her about it you would be putting her in control.
 
Top