GF needing a break with an ultimatum

[kawgreen]

Piece of Sh!t

So I have this great girl with a warm smile, ambition and a great ass to boot. She loves me down to my toes and I have to say that I dig her too. She doesn't mind it when I take the lead in certain situations but is independent enough to forge her own friendships and contacts. She has a life of her own outside of me and wants to include me in it, and I don't mind her coming into my life (just as long as she doesn't stay for too long.)

But because I am a man and therefore ruled by my instincts I can't stop cheating or thinking about cheating. To be completly honest I only messed around once and I regretted it sincerley, but that hasn't stopped me from prowling around looking for the next warm invite for meaningless sex. Since the first incident I have had three other oppurtunities which I have turned down, but it gets harder and harder each time. There is one girl espicially that really makes me consider going back to being single, she is a hot little 20 year old that always seems to give me the right signals. We've been friends for years and I've always wondered just how far things could go, but ethically I'm bound to my girlfriend, who is a smart, beautiful person that sees the best in everyone.

I guess when it comes down to it, I don't want to cheat but I don't know how much longer I can resist temptation. Ever since I settled down with my girl these damn women have been hounding me like telemarketers, selling nights of passionate bull**** for the price of my integrity. My question, is what would you do if you were the in my place.

Sincerely,
kawgreen

 

[TheTraveller]

If I was in your place I'd start a new thread.

And you cheated on her. And since you're talking about it here, you need to just let her go.

 

[jophil28]

Make my day, dude. It was the mom who overreacted. Stupid me emulated that.

Go home and empty 5 rounds into your momma but save #6 for yourself right after you next "freak out " because some woman yanks your rope.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

So I have this great girl with a warm smile, ambition and a great ass to boot. She loves me down to my toes and I have to say that I dig her too. She doesn't mind it when I take the lead in certain situations but is independent enough to forge her own friendships and contacts. She has a life of her own outside of me and wants to include me in it, and I don't mind her coming into my life (just as long as she doesn't stay for too long.)

But because I am a man and therefore ruled by my instincts I can't stop cheating or thinking about cheating. To be completly honest I only messed around once and I regretted it sincerley, but that hasn't stopped me from prowling around looking for the next warm invite for meaningless sex. Since the first incident I have had three other oppurtunities which I have turned down, but it gets harder and harder each time. There is one girl espicially that really makes me consider going back to being single, she is a hot little 20 year old that always seems to give me the right signals. We've been friends for years and I've always wondered just how far things could go, but ethically I'm bound to my girlfriend, who is a smart, beautiful person that sees the best in everyone.

I guess when it comes down to it, I don't want to cheat but I don't know how much longer I can resist temptation. Ever since I settled down with my girl these damn women have been hounding me like telemarketers, selling nights of passionate bull**** for the price of my integrity. My question, is what would you do if you were the in my place.

Sincerely,
kawgreen

Hahahahaha

 

[Bible_Belt]

To the OP, this part:
She said until I get my stuff together we are just friends/buds.

tells you enough. She should still want you even if "your stuff is not together."

It's over. Find a new girl.

One thing though, I don't agree with the advice to avoid women with drama in their pasts, simply because I have never met one who does not have drama. Every woman has a traumatic past of some sort - there are no "normal" people. Everybody's got problems.

 

[TheTraveller]

To the OP, this part:
She said until I get my stuff together we are just friends/buds.

tells you enough. She should still want you even if "your stuff is not together."

It's over. Find a new girl.

One thing though, I don't agree with the advice to avoid women with drama in their pasts, simply because I have never met one who does not have drama. Every woman has a traumatic past of some sort - there are no "normal" people. Everybody's got problems.

I agree with your point that everyone's got problems. It's how they deal and cope in the present that matters most in the relationship. If they bail because someone's not perfect, then that is a breach of respect. Next.

 

[jonwon]

Thanks for the support, guys.

I'm really wanting to self-improve here, move forward and lose these AFC tendencies. This process starts by freeing myself of the ex-gf, and moving on.

It's so easy to ignore the red flags as an AFC and think you can fix the person. What a load of sh*t and a waste of time to think that way.

we've all been there kid, don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[TheTraveller]

we've all been there kid, don't be too hard on yourself.

Thanks dude.

This is a wonderful lesson to learn. It has made me realize that there are really no reasons to ignore a red flag if it's causing you to think more than twice about the girl - who cares about the companionship, the s3x. Plenty of fish.

Thanks to everyone's thoughts - it's easy to seek comfort from fellow AFC friends (with wussy advice). It's the thoughts of DJ friends (few and far between), and sosuave that send a shock to the system.