Gf just dumped me by text...

[gimmeyofonenumba]

We had a bad fight 3 weeka ago. Reconciled. She told me she loved me. We've been doing great. We hangout tonight and she wants to leave early. And I get the dump text. I've replied with it being a shock, how things were great, how things take work. No response. What's my next move?

 

[In2theGame]

We had a bad fight 3 weeka ago. Reconciled. She told me she loved me. We've been doing great. We hangout tonight and she wants to leave early. And I get the dump text. I've replied with it being a shock, how things were great, how things take work. No response. What's my next move?

If this JUST happened then i know (as well as many other guys on here know) that your in a state of emotional panic at the moment. I know your taken back by the "love" she was showing you just recently and then BAM does a 180 turn around..... Has she been acting differently? in any way? i know what your feeling right now... just relax for a moment.....

 

[In2theGame]

BTW, what was the fight about?

 

[DonJuanabe]

Your next move is to do nothing. Replying that it was a shock etc. was not good, but you can hopefully salvage that by ghosting. If you contact her you will look weak and needy which will reinforce her decision. Do nothing. It will suck, you will feel anxious and confused, but you must not give in to your impulse to talk, explain, discuss or anything else.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Your next move is to upgrade you as well as upgrade the females you are dealing with.

 

[In2theGame]

Your next move is to do nothing. Replying that it was a shock etc. was not good, but you can hopefully salvage that by ghosting. If you contact her you will look weak and needy which will reinforce her decision. Do nothing. It will suck, you will feel anxious and confused, but you must not give in to your impulse to talk, explain, discuss or anything else.

Thats always the hardest part.

 

[DonJuanabe]

In2thegame -- yep, the easiest thing is also the most difficult thing.

 

[Robert28]

I would feel insulted like a mofo if someone told me they "loved me" but yet didn't have the decency, respect, or guts to look me in the EYE and dump me. doing it over the phone used to be the sh!ttiest thing you could do, but even THAT isn't as disrespectful as someone texting you to do it. not only that, but she was JUST at your house hanging out with you....you know she was thinking about it the whole time and chose to say NOTHING to your face until she was far away from you and then sends some b.s. text. Not talking to this girl would be the EASIEST thing i could ever do. i know you like her alot...i won't say love because that word gets thrown around too much and has lost it's meaning these days, but think about your self respect, you can't let someone treat you like that. it just seems to me that if she "loved" you so much she would have had more respect for your feelings.

 

[BigSmooth]

Should have texted her, "well it was a pleasure to meet you, have a nice life."

And ended it. Since that isn't the case now, like the posters above I would suggest not getting in contact with her at all.

Never, ever be that guy that leaves 100 voicemails pronouncing your undying love and begging her to take you back because she is your "soulmate".


I know it's hard. Telling her you still love her seems like the natural decision to do. I've done it before too. But, it never ends up well.


If you keep on trying to force yourself back into her life, you will ruin any chances, and chances are she will be so annoyed she'll just go around fvking random dudes and tell them that she is "going through a bad break-up and my ex just won't leave me alone so I just need to let loose some steam".

Ironically, a lot of guys here ARE those random dudes.

So, be a DJ and don't contact her if you want any remote chance of salvaging the relationship, and so she doesn't go around fvcking other DJ's.

 

[Robert28]

We live in an age where texting is a much more preferred form of communication than almost anything else. I don't think she was trying to be disrespectful as much as she was just being a coward about taking the easy way out.

I don't think how she broke up with the OP is as important as the fact that she did it. I know it's hard now all he wants is to have her back, but he needs to remove himself from this relationship, and he needs to do it permanently. Nothing good will come out of this.

I guess I'm old school and will always be. I'm the type person where if I have to talk to someone about something IMPORTANT I'll give them a call if I can't go see them in person. I text, email, post a facebook status every now and then but some things are just meant to be done the old fashioned way. I had a girl who was 25 working for me as a secretary few months ago. She'd begged me for a job for months and I finally hired her. About 2 weeks into her working for me she TEXTS me to tell me she won't be able to come in that morning. Doesn't bother calling me, just sends me a text. I replied and told her to come pick up her first and last check whenever she had a chance. I don't want people like that working for me and I d@mn sure won't date someone that is that way if I can spot the red flags beforehand.

It would be easy for me not to contact this girl ever again.

 

[In2theGame]

Everything we are saying, the OP is not listening to it anyway, Ive been there and so has anyone else at one point or another. The No contact will result in 1 of 2 ways. She will come back and wonder how come your not on her azz begging for her OR she will make up something in her mind to hate you, for example... He's not even trying to contact me so i guess he doesnt care about me... and she will Use that for a later date when you cant take it anymore and Break NC. Manipulation at its finest. So now that you have shown her that "you really dont care about her" gives her more reason to take on more sausages. The game alot of girls like to play is Heads i win, Tails you lose.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

Thanka for the responses. I know I'll take alota flack for this. I drove over to her place. Rang the doorbell once. No answer. I left a small note. Saying I forgive her and hope she changes her mind. Nothing else. This way I wont regret not making an effort. She blocked my # and my fb. Really is uncalled for. It's a huge shock to see it go this way but I wont waste anytime thinking of what I didnt do. I was the best possible man I could be. Im blessed in many ways. I'll keep strong in my faith and in Jesus Christ.

 

[In2theGame]

Thanka for the responses. I know I'll take alota flack for this. I drove over to her place. Rang the doorbell once. No answer. I left a small note. Saying I forgive her and hope she changes her mind. Nothing else. This way I wont regret not making an effort. She blocked my # and my fb. Really is uncalled for. It's a huge shock to see it go this way but I wont waste anytime thinking of what I didnt do. I was the best possible man I could be. Im blessed in many ways. I'll keep strong in my faith and in Jesus Christ.

Alot of posters are going to say what i think anyway about this but ill say.... Depending on how she is... she'll use it against you somehow Or maybe im wrong (hopefully) but the girls love to know your after her and begging her. kind of having a power over you.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

Ya I know. But it really doesnt matter. I feel better knowing i put in the effort. No regrets on my part. No need to salvage any respect or hope for chances by NC. As there wont be another chance for her.

 

[In2theGame]

Ya I know. But it really doesnt matter. I feel better knowing i put in the effort. No regrets on my part. No need to salvage any respect or hope for chances by NC. As there wont be another chance for her.

Hopefully is works in your favor.

 

[Upside]

I hate when people say this but...

You have been lurking this site for the better part of seven years but you internalized nothing. She's a female. Girls text ALL THE TIME. And when she doesn't respond to a text she clearly received, you decide to further exacerbate the problem by approaching her house and then leaving a note? If she didn't want anything to do with you when you were away from her, did you really expect her to suddenly change her mind when you show up at her door?

The best way for you to make an effort is to not actually make any effort. You played right into her frame the whole time. The first break up should always be the last.

And really, what was the fight about? If she was trying to start an argument for the sake of an argument then you should have seen this coming a mile away.

 

[Atom Smasher]

There's more to this story than meets the eye. We don't know what the big fight was about, what was actually said, whether there were other big fights in the past, whether there was tension brewing for a while, whether the OP was leading the relationship or being led, whether there were signs of impending doom (there always are, but they are extraordinarily difficult for men to see prior to taking the red pill).

You need to go ghost (though ideally I like a minimal agreement first, like a texted "ok" or "agreed", then complete, rock-solid radio silence. Next step is to work on yourself and spin some others. Either she will disappear or start blowing up your phone begging for forgiveness. There will be no middle ground. Either way it can never be the same again even if you got back together. Charge it to the game and leverage it to your advantage.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

Amen Atom Smasher. She quit her job and has been unemployed for a few weeks. Which I knew was affecting her, she had zero ambition since. Leading me to believe she was possibly depressed. After the first fight her several times divorced mother. Kept on poisoning her mind about me, thinka wont workout,etc. Some of which wasnt revealed to me. No doubt in my mind she'll miss me greatly and how well I treated and provided for her. She will come crawling back like 6-8 mos. From now. By then I will have moved on.

 

[Robert28]

Amen Atom Smasher. She quit her job and has been unemployed for a few weeks. Which I knew was affecting her, she had zero ambition since. Leading me to believe she was possibly depressed. After the first fight her several times divorced mother. Kept on poisoning her mind about me, thinka wont workout,etc. Some of which wasnt revealed to me. No doubt in my mind she'll miss me greatly and how well I treated and provided for her. She will come crawling back like 6-8 mos. From now. By then I will have moved on.

there's an old rule of thumb that says "look at a girl's mother and that's what you'll end up getting". most people think it's just looks wise, but it's far deeper then that. EVERY girl I've ever known who's mother had been divorced more then two times were A) super hoe's B) they also could not stay in a marriage when they got married, they also couldn't stay in a relationship C) they were the WORST kinds to date because their whole life they saw their own mother go from man to man and it's all they know now.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

I never thought of that saying beyond looks. Great point Robert. Daddy issues are huge. I disregarded them anyways. But that will be a pre-req. For the next one. It's a shame because she lives with her mother and I was sensing her mother may've actually been jealous of how great I was to her. The best relationship I had was with a woman with a ordinary family.