GF Jokes Around About Our Relationship

[Fela Kuti]

We've been together for 8 months but she still jokes around which sometimes make me doubt her commitment. For example:

"I can't imagine spending a life time with someone like you."
"I go into a relationship just for kicks."
"Maybe you're not the right person for me."
"You don't deserve to have me."

Yes, she says those kind of things in a joking manner, but there lies the problem. If she takes this relationship seriously, she should know that joking like that is not appropriate. If you're committed to your religion, would you joke around about it? Thought not. Beside, there's a saying that no one really kids. There's a shade of truth behind every joke.

So yesterday I called her on it. I said that I wasn't trying to make her stop doing it, but to just let her know that it makes me doubt her seriousness. If you were me, how would you handle this situation?

 

[Sexual]

Everyone will tell you the same thing. She doesn't respect you. If there's a slight chance she does, she's playing YOUR role. That's shyt you should be saying.

My advice would be to stop worrying about what she's saying and SERIOUSLY start to consider--is this broad hot enough for you? You want your kids looking like that? And most importantly, when she cheats on me with a guy that is more aggressive will I go out and find better women or just sit and cry with my bff Rosy Palmer?

 

[Mavrick]

Start taking away here value over you. Back off. Do other things. Show that you don't appreciate wasting your time that someone doesn't appreciate themselves.

Also, joke back. Start talking like it's not so great to you either.

I promise she will react.

 

[Fela Kuti]

I said that I wasn't trying to make her stop doing it, but to just let her know that it makes me doubt her seriousness.

What about my statement there? Was I too soft? Should I be more strict?

 

[Mavrick]

What about my statement there? Was I too soft? Should I be more strict?

You transfered value to her. You transfered power. She now knows that she has you and you've place her above you because you were reactive.

Try this on for size. When I'm valued by a chick, it's no different than a person who values a car and works hard to get it. What happens when that person finally buys that car and drives it for a little while? They lose interest.

 

[Fela Kuti]

OK. So what should I've done instead to make her stop joking around? And what should I do now to knock her off the pedestal I've created?

 

[Mavrick]

OK. So what should I've done instead to make her stop joking around? And what should I do now to knock her off the pedestal I've created?

You joke back. Agree with her dumb jokes, but in a condescending manner.

• You're right I don't deserve you. You're such a princess (or diva).
• I just go into relationships just for kicks. Yea, I go in them not for kicks, but to
  knock boots.
• You're right, I'm probably not the right person for you.
• How could you expect to keep an awesome guy like me around for the
  rest of your life anyway?

Don't react to her at all. You need to get this woman reactive to you. Get her wondering if you're serious or not.

 

[The Bat]

I thought your name looked familiar.

Fela, go back and look at all the threads you've created. Look for the common theme among all of them. What will you find?

A problem with your girlfriend. In almost every thread, you are told either that she's not respecting you enough or you're not respecting yourself enough.

Dare I say, you're the typical relationship AFC. A relationship is supposed to be fun, exciting, and adventurous. Not constant surveillance and monitoring of each other. Not "how should I've handled situation x better" every two weeks. Let her go, buddy. For your sake, let yourself go.

There are other plates to spin. Ones that won't give you a headache every two weeks. Ones that you will have so much fun with that you will even forget about this place.

 

[KontrollerX]

Rep points for you Bat.

Fela has been clinging to this chick for far too long and indeed in every thread of his its a new problem with this chick.

Typically most girls would've broken it off already and gotten with Lorenzo the fry cook at Mcdonalds "who really gets her" and also drives her around on the back of his dad's totally awesome Harley on the weekends but in this situation I think they are both co-dependant AFC's clinging to eachother to fulfill some sick need to be in a relationship at all costs because in their minds no one else would have them or its too much work to find someone new and someone ya know...you could actually be happy with.

Gotta unplug from that mindset or whatever it is exactly that is keeping you with her bro or else we can all look forward to more of these never ending problem posts from you rather than how wonderful your girlfriend is.

 

[Mavrick]

You don't need anyone for validation. You find that validation from within. You find that glorious feeling from within, also. Be the person that you WANT to be. Don't give a fvck what anyone thinks of you. Do what you want when you want.

 

[lordson]

you should give it right back at her

"yeah i'm only with you until i find somebody better at spring break too"

is the best way

 

[comic_relief]

you should give it right back at her

"yeah i'm only with you until i find somebody better at spring break too"

is the best way

basically the same thing that I do when we start to joke. I joke that I am going to hook up with all of her hot friends.

comic_relief

 

[splinterkb]

You've been with her for 8 months.. so what are you worrying about? You probably know enough to know if shes joking in a comedy way or joking to hint at something.

 

[Juan_Man]

I agree. You should know by her tone if she's joking or not. Anyways, I wouldn't sweat it. Just joke back.

 

[Fela Kuti]

You've been with her for 8 months.. so what are you worrying about? You probably know enough to know if shes joking in a comedy way or joking to hint at something.

I agree. You should know by her tone if she's joking or not. Anyways, I wouldn't sweat it. Just joke back.

As you may have read in my first post, I know that she's joking. The problem is not that she's joking or not, but it's the fact that she has the guts to joke in a disrespectful way like that.

 

[Fela Kuti]

A relationship is supposed to be fun, exciting, and adventurous. Not constant surveillance and monitoring of each other. Not "how should I've handled situation x better" every two weeks. Let her go, buddy. For your sake, let yourself go.

Are you saying that it's too much to have a problem every one month? I dare you to find a relationship that doesn't have any bump once in a while.

 

[drak_ool]

That's shyt you should be saying.

exactly my thoughts. Some people are afraid that relationships can turn too serious too soon. and looking at it from afar, you can't really blame them. I mean how can you know after 8 months if you re ready to spent the rest of your life with another person?

On the other hand you seem to be taking this relationship very seriously, which might be a red flag to her. Girls don't like clingy guys.

one last thing, remember what an older poster keeps repeating (don't remember who, maybe KarmaSutra, maybe RT): "the one who care the least about the relationship is the one who has the most power over it". seems like you're not the one in charge

 

[Axcell]

Follow Mav's advice - everything he said is definetly gold and you should be MORE than fine in handling this situation by carrying through those actions.

 

[MacAvoy]

After reading the OP, I was going to say sounds like you've hooked up with a real female player. Then Bat's post only confirms it. Your getting played my this chick. My original advice was going to be to emotionally detach because this broad doesn't have an attachment to you but she's probably singing this song as we speak.

Its time for you to take back control of your life and dump this girl and give her a taste of her own medicine. Whatever you do, don't take her back. You'll have no idea how insulted she'll feel. You'll also feel empowered afterwards knowing that you left on your own accord with your pride in tact.

 

[drmeathead]

Tell her she isnt pretty enough to say things like that to you. Then when she gets mad tell her you were just joking too. The when she gets madder go out for a few beers with your friends. When you get home dump her.

Or skip the previous paragraph and dump her now. A woman with high interest that isnt crazy wont risk messing up what she has by saying that ****. She isnt really interested or isnt very secure in herself. Either one isnt a good thing to build a relationship of any substance on.