"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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GF issues

falconer

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whats up guys i'm having a bit of a time here...
im in a long term relationship thats also long distance although i see her about every two weeks, our cities are close... we've been dating for over a year and she's coming to my college next semester... things have been good, high interest etc...
thing is, on valentines day one of her "friends" gave her a rose...she tells me this, calls him up and says "you know i have a bf and we should just stay friends"
ok thats cool but why would he be trying anyway since he knew i was going out with her?
today a different guy completely, her ex bf messages her asking if she wants to get coffee, she writes him back saying she's busy and doesn't go...then i say "yeah thats kinda weird, pretty much asking you on a date huh?"
she responds with "no not a date he just wanted to catch up, it would be like old friends meeting!" but still she denied him but i dunno if this Long distance is worth it, too much competition when i'm not there. thoughts anyone??
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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tmpgstx

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One of her friends gives her a Rose ..
Her ex is asking her to coffee ..

Something tells me this girl is an AW. The only thing worse than a local AW is a long distance one! Talk about stress and wondering what the hell she's up to or who's she is with or why she hasn't called in a couple of days.

I went thru that BS .. never again Dawg .. never again
 

sexysuave

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What does "AW" stand for anyone? thanx. On your situation, I dunno man, pretty girls get hit on all the time. The fact that she responded with "I'm busy" to that text message doesn't mean she said "no" and she justifies that by saying "it would just be like old friends meeting". I don't really like that too much. The rose from a friend is less of a worry, maybe dude just thinks she's pretty hot (then again, maybe she flirts with him sometimes, it's up to you to know her and if she would do this and if she's done this before). Hard to judge, you don't really have no HARDCORE proof.

I say one of you move into the other's town REALLY REALLY soon. This way you can have a normal relationship and not waste your time not knowing if it will work out or not.
 

uzio

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Attention whore.

Basicly a girl that leads guys on (loads of guys at the same time) to get their attention/affection. Usually very low self esteem (needs constant validation) - often accompanied with personality disorders.

Usual treatment: NEXT! Always - there is nothing you can do to an AW to help her.
 

resilient

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Originally posted by tmpgstx
The only thing worse than a local AW is a long distance one! Talk about stress and wondering what the hell she's up to or who's she is with or why she hasn't called in a couple of days.

I went thru that BS .. never again Dawg .. never again
Amen. Same here. I got cheated on royally by my last ex that I attempted and LDR with. A big red flag went off when I found out she talks to all her ex's near daily and leads on all her guy friends. It's so much stress to put up with from a distance it's not even worth it if you discover she's an AW with BPD. Those girls definately need to be NEXTed. They are the worst of their kind to have relationships with. They disdain exlusivity and enjoy seeing guys on the side while you might be considered her "main guy." Meanwhile she's banging some side guys.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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sexysuave

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Just catching up here, what's BPD? Thanx a lot.
 

resilient

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Blue Phoenix

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Originally posted by resilient
Borderline Personality Disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

It's good to read this and see if the crazy girl that you're dating has these issues and knowing you should probably hit the eject button :trouble:

For in depth DJ discussion on the topic check out this useful thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=90037
You are right. Consider this too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder
 

sexysuave

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Haha, damn, I know a few girls like that. VERY interesting.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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