"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Gf is losing feelings

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Champboy

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We've been in relation for nearly 2 and a half years now.. Before getting to know the reality of how attraction works, i made all the mistake of being a "Nice guy". At first it all worked out perfect, but recently she's been very cold and aggressive towards me and her tolerance level is very low now. Our arguments are growing day to day and I'm a lot worried about losing her.

She called me and told that she don't feel the same anymore, she don't want to lose me but the spark is gone and it's all sometime look's like a headache. She had very strong feeling's for me but now thing's are changed, she told that she do still have some feeling's but not like before.

After that we started having a large number of daily fights, over this reason that she's losing her feeling's. When ever she talked in monotone, i always bring up the same topic that if she was loyal and sincere then she should not have lost feeling's for me, and kept criticizing her every day, as a result thing's got more worst. She's starting to ignore me most of the time.

I thought of going NC (No contact) but i think due to our daily fights, this may back fire and she may get over me. Actually tried going no contact in fights but broke it so early.

She's the one who start the talk, she text or call me first, but her tone, and behavior isn't the same towards me. One thing i can say with guarantee is she know for sure that no matter what happened, i will never be able to live without her. But i don't know how to change her belief, i can't fight with her as it will bring negativity in her mind and i will risk losing her.

Is there any possibility for me to get that old spark back?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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betheman

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Champboy said:
I thought of going NC (No contact) but i think due to our daily fights, this may back fire and she may get over me. Actually tried going no contact in fights but broke it so early.

Is there any possibility for me to get that old spark back?
possibly...a slim one! distance yourself from her, dont contact her, let her contact you, let her wonder, which she will if she has any feelings for you, if she doesnt, well the silence will give you the answer.

"the spark is gone...I dont feel the same way about you anymore" = says it all really, it also indicates there is probably another guy who she does feel these things for.

Id be looking to move on from this one, the chances of rekindling and having something worthwhile are incredibly slim to zero, get another girl, go out and socialise with friends, if she contacts you, tell her..." yeah, the spark has gone, no hard feelings, lifes too short" and leave it at that, no grovelling snivelling, backtracking
 

Champboy

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I've updated the first post with some more information of the situation. I'm really very much into this girl. Isn't there any way to make her get all those feeling's back?
 
B

BeDJ

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I love you, but not in love with you anymore

As mentioned above, you need to distance yourself from her by not responding to her contact (if she does.) You must be emotionally detached from the situation ASAP. These emotions will MIND-FVCK you. Break down your relationship for what it is and not what you think it is. You will feel sad, but we are here to help. Make a PRO's and CON's list about her. JUST DO IT. You will see that the Con's are just specific to her and the Pro's can be found in other women.

The One-Year-Later-You
will thank you.

Sincerely,

Ben Derbifore
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SamTheHobit

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Create a little conflict.. It's healthy for a relationship.
 
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