"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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gf having mixed feelings

unreal-

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This has been going on for about a month now... my gf has been having mixed feelings about whether or not she wants to be together anymore. We have been together for about 3 year. She misses me sometimes, and others she doesn't. I'm really not sure what to do other than to try to make her miss me or give up. I told her that I wouldn't contact her and I would give her time, and if she missed me to call me or text me. she has been texting me about 3-4 times per day... and it actually kinda irritates me. Not because she is texting me, because I love to talk to her, but because she said that she is confused yet she is still acting like she wants to talk to me. She's happy when we're together. The past two times that we have been together she has cried because "she wants to love me so bad, but doesn't know what is wrong". I'm not sure what this means but if anyone could help me out, please translate that into something that I can understand. What should I do??

call me a jerk, but part of me wants to just say "look, if you don't miss me and want to be with me then just get over me" and the other part wants to try to work things out. We havent had sex in like 4 months... she says that she doesn't get h*rny anymore. That doesn't really bother me because thats not why I'm in the relationship anyways. I love the girl to death and I would do anything for her but I just don't know what to do to make her wisen up.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Bourne

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She has lost interest in you and lost attraction for you.

Give us some more info on the relationship.
How often do you see her? Do you live together? How old are you two? What do you do to keep things fresh with her? Whatever else about your situation. Because you have to find the problem and treat that and not the symptoms.
 

unreal-

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I'm a senior in high school, she is a junior. We don't live together, and the only time I get to see her is on the weekends or if I go to her house after school because we don't go to the same school. We go to the movies every once in a while, but most of the time it's either her coming to my house or me going to her house and just watching some movies and eating dinner (and sometmies playing some board games, although we havent done that in a while.) We used to talk on the phone for hours upon hours, but after a while we pretty much got to know everything you can know about each other. If we talk now, it's normally about how her day went, which in repitition can get really old. What used to be a lot of hours on the phone has ended up turning to anywhere from 5-15 minutes per day.

another thing that I've noticed is that most of the things that should make her feel bad or at least feel sorry about always end up making her mad.
 
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Bourne

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Well my advice would be since your are a senior in high school is to move on and get more life/girl experience. Don't bother much longer with her. If you were older my advice would be different but you are too young in my opinion right now to worry about LTR with anyone. Go out and enjoy life.
 

unreal-

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I think thats what I'm about to do honestly... its just kinda hard to let go of 3 years. she replied to me after I told her that I dont think we should talk anymore with "you said you'd wait for me. i care about you, i just don't know whats going on"
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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foomee

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The whole talking on the phone for hours at a time really did a number on you two. You guys are now bored of eachother and there's no more surprises. What you gotta do, and fast, is make sure you're not being AFC and try to limit how often you guys talk. And your next date, make it something totally awesome, something she'll never forget. You guys need to spark up the relationship again.

And if this doesn't go well... you're in hs and you're still very young. So maybe go out and see other people, and if you two still care about eachother, try to make it work again.
 

unreal-

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she's also got a habbit of holding grudges. If I make a mistake or something she'll hold it against me and end up bringing that up and it'll start arguments. The reason we don't talk as much any more is because we started argueing a lot... i hate arguing with her it always makes me feel like crap :( I've learned that if I just sit and listen and don't say a word and be calm it works out better... sometimes. some days she thinks about me, some days she doesnt, some days she wants to talk to me, some days she doesnt. Maybe I am being too AFC but i'm going crazy. I want her to love me all of the time, not just part of it... ya kno?
 

Nighthawk

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She wants out, but is waiting for a better branch to swing to.

She is picking arguments to drive you away/test you/establish a plotline where it's all your fault.

Walk away and if she likes you she'll come crawling back. But my advice is to be brave, next her, and find someone who really desires and cares about you.

We havent had sex in like 4 months... she says that she doesn't get h*rny anymore. That doesn't really bother me because thats not why I'm in the relationship anyways.
? Sex has to be the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and if you think - rationalize - otherwise you will find yourself back in this position. Board games are no substitute.
 

GloriouslyInsane

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Dude she's fvcking/wants another guy, 80% , 20% as said is that she's waiting for someone else.In short,the ltr is 100% screwed and you better move on fast.Like spinning tires fast.
You think it's too hard to do but wait until you find out she's been ****ing another guy and then tell me which pain is greater.
At least keep your integrity.

GI
 
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