gf hanging out with other guys

[djbr]

She's going to do what she wants to anyway, you have no control about it.

The solution? Simple, keep nailing her and fvck other chicks.

 

[jigga23]

Dude dont really make a big deal out of it. I know how you feel ive been there and it kind of sucks. But if you make a big deal then shell see you as insecure and controlling which is not good. let her do what she wants to do if she cheats on you then she doesnt like you. if she doesnt then she wants to be with you. is she staying out with these guys till like 3am and not even contacting you? my ex did that sh!t if she came home at like 2 that was fine cause bars closed around 130-145. one time she didnt come home till like 4. Thats when i said something. after that she knew what was up. i told her that it was disrespectful and you cant expect anyone to be in a realationship with someone who does that but i still said do what you want but i cant promise ill be around if you do something stupid anymore. baiscally show her the door and see what she does. either she wants to party or settle down theres no in between unless you want the same. so bring it up if shes not contacting you or not coming home till late.

 

[MacAvoy]

MacAvoy, I don't think you understand how much this girl really likes me.

I understand perfectly how much she likes you. You said yourself how much she likes you. Here's a reminder of how much you said she likes you:

hanging out with 5 guys and getting drunk with them? I mean I'm pretty secure with myself and everything, but not THAT secure.

You know what your real problem is. Even more so than the fact she is going to screw you around. The real problem is:

This is the only girl that I've truly loved and I don't really want to break up with her.

I am not saying don't love or care for a women. Love is a two way street, it is about having respect for the other person. My women would never disrespect me by being alone with another man let alone getting drunk with another man.

I am saying give your love to a women who deserves it. Who truly loves you, who respects you, who treats you like you are the prize. This women doesn't think your the prize. She thinks your a chump, thats why she has to go out and drink with other men.

Ok maybe that was a little harsh and overboard. The real truth is she is young and wants to have fun. She isn't ready to settle down and be with just one man. She is still full of piss and vinagre, she needs to work it out of her system. If you were smart, you would withdraw emotionally from this relationship.

Take the initial advice I gave, and take the power in the relationship. ITS TIME TO GROW SOME BALLS AND BE THE MAN SHE WANTS YOU TO BE.

Always remember the Cardinal Rule of Relationships:

In any relationship, whether personal, business or familial, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

 

[mmx]

I went through the same thing with my ex-girlfriend. She kept drinking every weekend at bars and whatnot with her friends (female and males) and I really didn't like it. Yes, it made me feel insecure, and it was a feeling I did not want to experience. You must remember that there's nothing wrong with the way you think: if a girl makes you feel a certain way that you don't like, then she's the one bringing the problem to you. Never change yourself for someone else.

It was extremely hard dealing with this situation with her at the time. She kept getting frustrated each time I brought the topic up. Wow, what a fool I was! I should've just left her right then and there, but I was really into this chick, so I decided to cope with it. What a bad move on my part.

Looking back at it now, I'm glad I'm not with her anymore because I want a girl who doesn't waste her nights getting drunk all the time. I much rather have a girl who enjoys staying home than going out and getting trashed. If there is something you don't like about a girl, then next her as fast as you can because you'll be wasting your (and hers) time.

 

[JLW]

Well, here's what happened.

I took MacAvoy's and everybody's advice. I tried to dump her.

She basically said, "No, what is it that will make you happy?"

I replied, "It would make me happy if you stopped ****ing me over. And the only way to do that is by breaking up with you. Sorry. Bye."

she says, "NO, WAIT. What if I stopped drinking, including with other guys?"

I say, "No, that's not fair for you. That would be too controlling. I don't dislike you, I just don't think it's good that we go out."

She replies, "It isn't your decision to make me stop drinking. It's mine. I want to stop drinking because I want to be with you."

I explained to her how she was being unreasonable but she insisted that it was what she really wanted.

I still haven't decided what I'm going to do.

So yea. I swallowed all my AFC crap about "how she's the only one I loved blah blah blah". But then she gave me a very reasonable, very sincere solution to the problem.

So I mean, I might stay with her. I realize after (trying) to break up with her that I really don't need her. But I mean she decided on her own that she would stop drinking, and it was very, very sincere.

So I don't know. I could stay with her because it seems reasonable. But I could also just leave because that also is reasonable.

 

[Nighthawk]

You just aced the test. Now you've demonstrated your walkawayabilty she's willing to change her behaviour to suit you, and she respects you more. If only other posters had the balls.

So don't feel it's 'not DJ' to give her another chance, especially now she has proved her worth.

 

[JLW]

I still haven't decided whether I want her sorry ass or not.

 

[foomee]

Just see how she behaves in the next few days. If she's the girl of your dreams, pleasures and fulfills your every need in every possible way, keep her. If not, throw her out.

Or what you could do, dump her, don't turn back, and see if she calls you asking for you back. Then come back again, and if she isn't the perfect girl. yeah, get rid of her.


I've never received a blow job, my girlfriend has given three different guys head in the past year. We've been dating for 4 months now. Those guys were just hookups, I'm a relationship and she actually loves me, as do I to her. But I keep asking for a blow job, but she won't. She doesn't like doing it. So I'm gonna wait a while and see what happens. I might dump her too..

 

[trajhenkhet02]

If you have the opportunity ask her if you can go to one of these little outings. If she says "no" for whatever reason I think the issue will be much clearer for you.

 

[MacAvoy]

If you have the opportunity ask her if you can go to one of these little outings. If she says "no" for whatever reason I think the issue will be much clearer for you.

The next step you take largely depends on how far gone everything is with this women. If things havve already soured past the point of saving, then, just completely walk away.

If not, I think traj's test is a really great idea. If she even winse's or pauses for a second, dump her. If she says yes, and doesn't introduce you as her b/f, dump her.

You've seen the wonders of using your new found wisdom, don't make the rookie DJ of letting things slide after experiencing some early success.

 

[Man Of Adventure]

The next step you take largely depends on how far gone everything is with this women. If things havve already soured past the point of saving, then, just completely walk away.

I can agree with that. Ill also say this: If she just does too many things that just pisses you off. Leave her. Its just annoying after awhile to hear that shell change and then I find something else that doesnt go well in my stomach. Thats my last girlfriend in a nutshell.

Also...she may say that she wont go to the bars anymore with other guys, but that doesnt mean shell stop completely. So yeah, if she tries to bend the rules...do something about it or break it off. Thats what makes me so jaded towards a girl. Ya pretty much need zero tolerance like when the cops find underage drinkers. I will almost bet you that shell try it. So make it known to her what will happen in that calm but firm manner. You aint a control freak...yur just tryin to let her know you stand by what you say because you dont wanna put up with the bull****. Later dude.

 

[Krassus]

There is no doubt what to do about this situation. Walk away like a man with your pride. Tell her that you understand she is still young and has the need for self-gratification. Let her know that you have no need for someone in your life that needs gratification from other men to satisfy her needs.

Let her know that you've enjoyed her company and that if she decides that she is ready to be in a two way respectful relationship then to give you a call.

The most important thing at this point is not to get into a name calling contest with her. She is going to be upset and throw a fit. Whatever you do, don't get sucked in. Walk away very calmly.

I've got ten bux that says if you do, you'll have her eating out of your hands afterwards if you want. If you just walk away, she'll be thinking about you for years to come wondering .... what if ....

*smacks head* Please stop posting here, as you obviously have very little experience with this; either that, or you've learned very little from whatever experience you do have. In a relationship, you can't be this trigger-happy. It's not an ONS he's talking about. When there is a problem, then you TALK to the person and ONLY if there is absolutely no way to resolve it and no willingness to compromise from either side, only THEN do you start thinking about breaking up, IF the problem is big enough to warrant that.

 

[Krassus]

You need to weasel this request

The one above has no brains; you've got no balls. The adminds need to start deleting accounts...

 

[Krassus]

Well I'm of the view you can't really change people they have to want to change themselves so I typically drop chicks like this

You're perfectly right about the changing part, but you can't expect someone to change something that they don't even KNOW is in need of changing! And just because he thinks it is, doesn't AUTOMATICALLY make it so. While he still IS correct (because behavior like that has no place in an LTR), she obviously sees it differently. He should TALK To her and explain what the problem is. Most of the time, little **** like this can be resolved with a simple conversation.

 

[siph]

she has probably cheated on you already dude. chalk this one up to experience and bang her friends STAT

 

[MacAvoy]

*smacks head* Please stop posting here, as you obviously have very little experience with this; either that, or you've learned very little from whatever experience you do have. In a relationship, you can't be this trigger-happy. It's not an ONS he's talking about. When there is a problem, then you TALK to the person and ONLY if there is absolutely no way to resolve it and no willingness to compromise from either side, only THEN do you start thinking about breaking up, IF the problem is big enough to warrant that.

OK MR AFC. We should all start taking your advice and TALKING ONLY to women about our feelings and see where that gets us. Your the one who really needs to smack your head and stop posting here. You've bought into the fairy tale society has force fed you. For someone who's been a member here since 2003 you haven't learned anything about being a DJ.

If you bothered to read the thread or the bible in the past, you'd see that the advice I gave, accomplished the goal:

Well, here's what happened.

I took MacAvoy's and everybody's advice. I tried to dump her.

She basically said, "No, what is it that will make you happy?"

she says, "NO, WAIT. What if I stopped drinking, including with other guys?"

She replies, "It isn't your decision to make me stop drinking. It's mine. I want to stop drinking because I want to be with you."

I explained to her how she was being unreasonable but she insisted that it was what she really wanted.

I still haven't decided what I'm going to do.

So yea. I swallowed all my AFC crap about "how she's the only one I loved blah blah blah".

So I mean, I might stay with her. I realize after (trying) to break up with her that I really don't need her. But I mean she decided on her own that she would stop drinking, and it was very, very sincere.

So my advice accomplished the stated goal. It gave him the power back in the relationship and had the women eating out of his hand.

Krassus I challenge you to show me how my advice failed him. Please enlighten me with your DJ knowledge.