gf going to salsa

[pyros]

Would you let your gf go to salsa lessons? and therefore start to go out with her new salsa "friends" to dance?

I say this cause a friend of mine is worried that her gf with whom he's having trouble lately joined salsa class a month ago and now she's starting to go out to dance salsa with her new friends.

He doesnt like salsa so he's not included. He's trying to 'control' how many hours she dances, with whom etc, but I think he's gonna fail. She knows he doesn't like it but does it anyway.

For example, a week ago they 'decided' that she could just go out to dance for two hours before he came to pick her up. For me this is kind of ridiculous but...if she wants to go out to dance she's likely going to do it anyway, and trying to control her is gonna cause a lot of arguments.

I think it is the begining of the end but hey, what do I know right? lol.

 

[djthiago1]

This is certainly not good. Girl going out to dance, dude trying to set boundaries. This is bound to fail. Dude's gonna need to implement some serious dread game.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

I think it is the begining of the end but hey, what do I know right? lol.

I think you are right about this. Unless she loves a controlling, jealous boyfriend, she's going to leave him once she's got a solid social circle around her. Also, he sounds like a douche bag for refusing to participate and trying to control her activities.

You gotta let people do what they want. People are so terrible sometimes.

 

[LMFAO]

He's playing it fantastically well for a beta loser. It's completely the wrong mentality, and the more she sees it the more she'll be pushed away. Girls don't want some jealous tw@t who is scared she's gonna cheat on him at every opportunity.

Let her dance salsa. Yes she'll get touched up by other guys who'll want to bend her over and jizz up her rear. As long as she'll still coming back to him, picking her up and he's the one banging her afterwards he should be fine. If he's really concerned then get some other plates.

 

[El Payaso]

Another poor guy who fails to understand the concept of boundaries. Boundaries aren't meant to be used to control the girl. They are meant for knowing when she has messed up. Depending on the level of the boundary, it will give you an idea of what action to take.

Soft boundaries will trigger a brief talking to, middle boundaries may trigger a withdrawal of attention while the hard boundaries or cardinal sins will trigger a breakup.

If she commits an action, you look at where it falls and how comfortable you are with it and take action. If she breaks a boundary consistently (twice or thrice) despite you expressing your displeasure, this woman does not respect you or your feelings.

It is time to find a new woman. Don't use boundaries to control women. Use boundaries to control yourself.

 

[pyros]

but if your gf wants to, in this case, join salsa lessons and go out to dance salsa...what can you do if you do not like the idea? you can tell her you do not like it and then let her decide if she wants to do it anyway.

I dont know what else you can do besides telling her you disaprove it.

 

[VladPatton]

LOL ... Damn...when I read the title alone I was thinking "this is the beginning of the end" if your chick is going to dance Salsa without you. You gotta be born with an attraction for that dancing sh!t. I say let her go and see what happens. Just be prepped for the end.

 

[pyros]

Did she invite her bf to join her at the classes?

I dont know, I dont think so cause he doesnt like it anyway.

Im her dancing partner by the way, cause she's friends with a friend of mine.

 

[Die Hard]

LOL, then what're you waiting for, pyros! Seems the bytch wants to do some branch-swinging, so you be that branch

Seriously, though. The guy has two options:

1. Drop her completely
2. Downgrade her from girlfriend status to plate status.

I'd go for the first option I if I was in his shoes...

 

[mangotot]

She is starting to look for other options as this relationship is having problems. He should do the same.

 

[pyros]

yes, they broke up in june, but after a month they got back together. I sense the end is very near, so if she wants to branch swing with me I think I will not say no to her...at least for the sex part.


Anyway, Im interested in hearing about ways to deal with the fact that your girlfriend wants to do X but you disagree.
Some of you say to just download her to plate status but if she's been your gf for a year or more I dont see how you're suposed to do that.

Any other ways?

 

[latino158]

a latino man may take her from you

be careful

lol

strong username to post correlation

<---

 

[Die Hard]

yes, they broke up in june, but after a month they got back together. I sense the end is very near, so if she wants to branch swing with me I think I will not say no to her...at least for the sex part.


Anyway, Im interested in hearing about ways to deal with the fact that your girlfriend wants to do X but you disagree.
Some of you say to just download her to plate status but if she's been your gf for a year or more I dont see how you're suposed to do that.

Agreed. That's why I said I would go with the first option, drop her completely.

By the way, I don't understand why you're asking this question about how to deal with situations where your girl wants to do X while you disagree.
Didn't we just have thousands of 'boundary' threads where this subject was discussed to death? I suggest you go read those to find your answers.

 

[Fireballs]

It's funny when I see the words ''Would you let your girlfriend...?'' You can't control them. All you can control is yourself and your own actions.

Some guys might be ok with their girl going Salsa dancing and some may not. Me personally? I would just join her if she invited me as it could be fun. (I would be worried if she didn't ask me though.)

Anyway, the only thing that matters is, does it violate YOUR standards in a relationship? If it does, walk away. Or demote her to fb status while you go spin more plates. Simple.

 

[Greasy Pig]

If she's looking to cheat or branch swing, stopping her going to salsa ain't gonna do shyt.
She'll find another way and all the bravado and boundary setting will be for nought.
If it was me, I'd tell her to go for her life. If she fvcks up, she simply loses the privilege of my exclusive company and we weren't meant to be.

 

[spax]

Real alphas let their girls fuuuuuck other men and don't give a fuuuuck!

 

[mangotot]

Real alphas let their girls fuuuuuck other men and don't give a fuuuuck!

How true is this?

 

[Soolaimon]

I think it's imperative that men give women their own $hit tests.

Women are going to cheat or hang out with other guys if they want.

That is why "defining terms" at the beginning of a relationship is useless.

You should give her a test.

Let her go to salsa with other men there.

If she passes your test of not hanging out/wanting other men you have a good woman.

If she fails your test of hanging out with other men then you saved yourself from wasting your time on a $hitty woman.

Too many men are afraid of losing a $hitty woman trying to keep her from other men.

Let her go and put her to the test.

If she fails she did all the work for you by showing you how unfaithful she is.

Then you can get another woman without wasting your time on her.

See how easy that is?

 

[BraddH]

First of all, lets make it clear that it is honestly your and your gfs situation. Dont lie, you can be easily seen through.

Secondly, to the point: this is the fvcking perfect chance for you to go salsa with her or somebody else. Dont you understand that salsa is one of the most sexy and romantic dance ever? No, you do understand; you are just fvcking insecure. What the fvck is with the "I dont like salsa." That is fvcking bullshvt. There is no fvcking one person in the world who is confident and doesn't like salsa. Either you are fvcking insecure with your salsa body or you dont know how to dance. And if you dont know how to dance, then learn to dance. And if your body aint sexy then get a sexy body. And if you dont want to learn to dance then let your gf dance with other guys. What is the problem here? You are the only problem. There is no problem with anything else.

Even if she ends up leaving you, it is your problem. Dont go blaming her, dont go blaming others. Only the weaks blames others. You might not have been interesting enough to keep her attraction. Still it is your problem. Excitement and romantic are very close alike. If she is not excited by you, she will sooner or later lose romantic feelings also.


"but if your gf wants to, in this case, join salsa lessons and go out to dance salsa...what can you do if you do not like the idea? you can tell her you do not like it and then let her decide if she wants to do it anyway.

I dont know what else you can do besides telling her you disaprove it."

Oh my fvcking god. You've been her ever since 2011 and you are still that lost? Why the fvck dont you like the idea? The only reason is that you are insecure. You are afraid of her cheating on you. And why the fvck are you afraid? Because you have no other options. And you are insecure. Deep down, you are already seeing and fearing that she could cheat on you any moment. Otherwise why bother? Why dont you like the idea? If you are confident that she wont cheat on you, there aint no reason to dislike the idea. On the contrary, (I am repeating this so many times that it goes deep down into your brain) you should GO dance with her yourself. As you can see, you seem to be pretty low in society hierarcy. I dont even think you deserve this girl with that much insecurity.

If she is honestly attracted to you, she will not cheat no matter what. And if she wants to cheat, she will find a way no matter what boundaries you set. On the contrary, it is for the very reason that you set boundaries and end up a fvcking insecure controlling boyfriend that she loses attraction.

As ive said before. Let her dance salsa, and go dance with her or cry with your insecurity and prepare for getting dumped sooner or later.

 

[BraddH]

How true is this?

That guy doesnt know what the fvck he is talking about.