Johnnyventana
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2011
- Messages
- 461
- Reaction score
- 21
It's amazing, isn't? Don't feel bad, we all had NO fk'n idea. Now we do. Now it's on us.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
GF Fvcked me over, and i flipped my sh1t
- Thread starter Handsfull
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Ive gone ghost. My BPD has been trying to contact me in a variety of what she is trying to portrey as innocent reasons. "do i have any stuff at your house", "Heard your doing well and are happy". Hey its Valentines Day, Here's a $230 dollar bill."
I have been totally NC, other than one word responses to things: Yes, no, Cool, etc...
How do I dole out my own pain, as you say? I'm not going to put any energy into hurting her but if NC drives her BPD ass crazy, then that's at least some consolation. She destroyed me, but I was strong and went NC from day fvcking 1! Proud of myself for that.
She only started contacting me fter she found out I was fvcking her psuedo friend. That was supposed to be a secret, but got out. I honestly did not think she would care anyway. She had a guy lined up, and portryed having a GREAT life after she left me. Should I at least feel good that she's the one contacting me? I would never take her back, but it's nice to think that maybe she realizes she ****ed up. Or is this just her trying to pull the strings and be the puppet master? Either way, doesnt matter. I want to take a class on ****ed up women now. Any books out there on these types of women? Fascinating.
I have been totally NC, other than one word responses to things: Yes, no, Cool, etc...
How do I dole out my own pain, as you say? I'm not going to put any energy into hurting her but if NC drives her BPD ass crazy, then that's at least some consolation. She destroyed me, but I was strong and went NC from day fvcking 1! Proud of myself for that.
She only started contacting me fter she found out I was fvcking her psuedo friend. That was supposed to be a secret, but got out. I honestly did not think she would care anyway. She had a guy lined up, and portryed having a GREAT life after she left me. Should I at least feel good that she's the one contacting me? I would never take her back, but it's nice to think that maybe she realizes she ****ed up. Or is this just her trying to pull the strings and be the puppet master? Either way, doesnt matter. I want to take a class on ****ed up women now. Any books out there on these types of women? Fascinating.
Ive gone ghost. My BPD has been trying to contact me in a variety of what she is trying to portrey as innocent reasons. "do i have any stuff at your house", "Heard your doing well and are happy". Hey its Valentines Day, Here's a $230 dollar bill."
I have been totally NC, other than one word responses to things: Yes, no, Cool, etc...
How do I dole out my own pain, as you say? I'm not going to put any energy into hurting her but if NC drives her BPD ass crazy, then that's at least some consolation. She destroyed me, but I was strong and went NC from day fvcking 1! Proud of myself for that.
She only started contacting me fter she found out I was fvcking her psuedo friend. That was supposed to be a secret, but got out. I honestly did not think she would care anyway. She had a guy lined up, and portryed having a GREAT life after she left me. Should I at least feel good that she's the one contacting me? I would never take her back, but it's nice to think that maybe she realizes she ****ed up. Or is this just her trying to pull the strings and be the puppet master? Either way, doesnt matter. I want to take a class on ****ed up women now. Any books out there on these types of women? Fascinating.
I have been totally NC, other than one word responses to things: Yes, no, Cool, etc...
How do I dole out my own pain, as you say? I'm not going to put any energy into hurting her but if NC drives her BPD ass crazy, then that's at least some consolation. She destroyed me, but I was strong and went NC from day fvcking 1! Proud of myself for that.
She only started contacting me fter she found out I was fvcking her psuedo friend. That was supposed to be a secret, but got out. I honestly did not think she would care anyway. She had a guy lined up, and portryed having a GREAT life after she left me. Should I at least feel good that she's the one contacting me? I would never take her back, but it's nice to think that maybe she realizes she ****ed up. Or is this just her trying to pull the strings and be the puppet master? Either way, doesnt matter. I want to take a class on ****ed up women now. Any books out there on these types of women? Fascinating.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
:facepalm:Handsfull said:
that's not no contact! it's NO contact. not half ass contact. Not short contact. NO contact. do not respond to antyhing.
you said you went ghost. how can you go ghost if she knows you are there. ;that's a sad ass ghost if that is the case.
ghost means disappearing off the face of the earth. under no circumstances do you respond to her. do you even let her know that you are still living.
you just defeated the entire purpose. she knows you are there. the fact that you are responding let's her know you still care regardless of how short your answers are.
that's like saying "I have never had sex, expect for the blow jobs i gave the football team a few weeks ago.."
come on people. NO CONTACT.
the only thing that is "fascinating" is how you think you are dooking everyone including your ex but everyone sees as clear as day you care about this broad and you refuse to cut her out your life. you say you are fvckign other women why aren't you off messing with them instead of responding to her texts?
i just can't take this **** anymore lol. i'm getting too worked up. dude it's clear as fvcking sunlight what is happening and you just blantenly refuse to listening to anyone and everyone is telling you the EXACT same thing. there is a what.. like 20 page thread dealing with this girl and girls just like her. everyone here has dealt with this exact same girl and everyone is giving you the exact same advice and you are talking about how you want are doing "research" who the fvck do you think you are talking to lol?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
BB is right. You haven't gone "ghost" until you completely disappear. Every little "yes", "ok", etc. shows her that you care. It is a little "fix" for her that bolsters up her ego.
Johnnyventana
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2011
- Messages
- 461
- Reaction score
- 21
Handsfull -- if it will help you truly go ghost on a H0, Yes, going ghost will drive her batty. You see, as the others have written, by replying at all, she knows she still owns your arse. By going ghost, you will destroy that facade, remove all her power, and leave her freaking out! And no, this will not mean that she will all of a sudden or ever understand that she fkd up. It is simply a bi-product of a girl with the emotions of a 3-year-old freaking out.
That said, it can still be satisfying for you. Just know it for what it really is.
That said, it can still be satisfying for you. Just know it for what it really is.